CHAPTER 4

Xie Shuyu dreamed again.

The same person was in her dream, but the setting had changed this time.

She had never seen such a beautiful sky, layers of orange and pink in varying depths splashed across the canvas like a soft sea of flowers, almost drowning her.

She became someone unlike herself, or perhaps another suppressed version of herself, taking absolute control, dominating everything. The person in her dream was also unusually tender and alluring, generously opening up, stretching, and bending into graceful curves.

This is a dream, right? It must be a dream.

Afraid she might wake up the next second, with the cruel reality constantly reminding her, Xie Shuyu was cautious, restraining her embrace, while the other party eagerly invited her, and she couldn't help but kiss, to seek.

Urgently closing in, fearing loss, two contradictory emotions pulled at her from both sides. The more flustered she became, the more chaotic things got, and she sank into a fog.

Falling, rapidly falling through mid-air, the sudden sensation of weightlessness struck.

Xie Shuyu jolted awake, heart pounding violently. She instinctively parted her lips and took deep breaths, staring blankly with wide eyes. It took a long while before her soul slowly returned to her body.

It wasn't yet the spring equinox, and sleeping under a quilt in this weather was the most comfortable thing. Yet Xie Shuyu was drenched in hot sweat from head to back. Once her heartbeat calmed, she turned her head to gauge the time through the light filtering between the curtains. Not entirely sure, she pressed the phone screen to check.

Not even five o'clock.

She closed her eyes again, tilted her head back, swallowed slowly, and savored the memory.

The dream couldn't be recreated, but Xie Shuyu considered herself gifted since childhood, her mastery of scenes and colors was innate.

She could imagine it.

But wouldn't that be a bit impolite? She furrowed her two delicate eyebrows.

Even with a close friend, you can't just do whatever you want. Maybe she should call Wen Wan and ask for her opinion.

"Hey? You asleep? Oh, doesn't matter if you were, you're awake now anyway. Yeah, there's something I want to discuss with you. It's just that right now I'm feeling a certain way, and given how many years we've known each other, you probably wouldn't mind if I did a certain thing, right?"

"If you really mind, I can offer you a solution, you can do that certain thing to me. I wouldn't mind."

Xie Shuyu pressed her palm to her forehead and laughed at herself.

After a moment, she pushed herself up to sit, opened the bedside drawer, and took out a small box. After checking the battery level, she washed the little device and disinfected it with an alcohol swab.

......

It was the same model Wen Wan used, the link Zuo Ye had shared. At the time, both she and Xie Shuyu had acted very reserved about it.

Xie Shuyu sent a scratching-head emoji. She said, "What's this?" Xu Huiyin said, "You guess." Zuo Ye said, "Stop pretending."

Zuo Ye's recommendation was guaranteed quality. Wen Wan ordered it without hesitation, and after experimenting with it a few times when it arrived, it was indeed quite good.

She came out of the bathroom, having rinsed the little device clean, dried it with a tissue, and blown it dry with a hairdryer before putting it back in the box.

Back in her room, she stood with her hands on her hips for a while. Riding the last wave of lingering excitement, she changed all the bedding and tossed it into the washing machine.

Lying flat on the clean, soft bed, staring at the ceiling in the darkness, Wen Wan felt she had gone crazy.

Truly crazy.

But she had to admit, this thing worked better than melatonin. She closed her eyes, and before she knew it, consciousness slipped naturally into sleep.

......

After her shower, Xie Shuyu cleaned every nook and cranny of the room. The washed bedding hung on the balcony to dry, and the sky was already beginning to lighten.

Lights were on in some units of the buildings on either side, perhaps people staying up like her, or perhaps getting up early to head to work.

The air was humid, chill seeping through her clothes. Clear birdsong came from afar. Xie Shuyu rubbed her arms and let out a long yawn.

She was glad she hadn't submitted her manuscript yesterday. She went back to bed to doze, and when the alarm went off, she turned it off and reset it, then texted Sister Zhang to use half a day of annual leave in exchange for a good morning's sleep.

Living alone long-term, while enjoying freedom and tranquility, inevitably brought moments of sadness and loneliness, especially after experiencing such a subtle yet extreme indulgence.

Perhaps because she'd stayed up late, before falling asleep, Xie Shuyu couldn't help wondering: if she were to die quietly in this apartment one day, would Wen Wan be sad for her?

Night and day were two completely different worlds. By the time she arrived at the editorial office after lunch, the absurd dream, the unrealistic fantasies, and that little pang of wistfulness had been crushed to pieces by the city's bustling traffic.

Back to reality. At the department meeting, Xie Shuyu meticulously noted down the work priorities for next week.

Around five o'clock, Zuo Ye mentioned her in the group chat, asking if she was ready.

Xie Shuyu had already submitted her manuscript and was idling at her desk waiting to clock out. Seeing the message, she slapped her thigh in sudden realization!

There wasn't enough time to go back to the dorm to pack, and she certainly couldn't say she'd gotten so carried away with a wet dream that she forgot. Stay calm, don't panic. Xie Shuyu tapped the screen.

[Oops, I forgot.]

[You've got a pig brain, how could you forget that? Were you out stealing someone last night?] Zuo Ye shot back.

[I'll steal your ass.]

Xie Shuyu paused, then added: [It's fine, hotels have all the toiletries.]

[My ass isn't something you can steal just because you want to.]

Zuo Ye specifically quoted Xie Shuyu's last line and replied: [Stop pretending. Would Wen Wan let you stay at a hotel?]

[I've noticed you've been asking for it lately.]

Xie Shuyu didn't confirm or deny, just kept targeting that little ass of hers with relentless jabs.

[Those two dry, bony cheeks of yours, roast them over a fire and you wouldn't get two ounces of oil. I wouldn't take them even if you paid me to.]

Zuo Ye said.

[Just you wait.]

Ten minutes later, the three of them regrouped downstairs at the building. Xie Shuyu pulled open the car door and climbed in, greeting Xu Huiyin in the passenger seat. Zuo Ye leaned over from the driver's seat, hooked her arm around Xie Shuyu's neck, and gritted her teeth: "Are you wrong or not?!"

"I'm wrong, I'm wrong." Xie Shuyu hastily patted her arm, begging for mercy.

Zuo Ye let go. "Pathetic."

Xie Shuyu scooted away, not in a hurry to say anything, and only after the car got moving did she sneakily add from the back seat, "But no matter how you threaten and intimidate me, you've still got a flat, shriveled ass."

Zuo Ye was driving and couldn't deal with her, so she asked, "Then who's got a big ass? Wen Wan's got a big ass, round and perky."

Xu Huiyin recalled, "Wen Wan's, true."

Xie Shuyu shut her mouth.

Zuo Ye brooded up front for a while, then at a traffic light, out of nowhere: "It's not that impressive anyway. It can be trained."

"So you do care about it." Xu Huiyin turned her head.

"And do you care?" Zuo Ye asked.

Xu Huiyin smiled. "Whatever makes you happy, I support it."

"Wife's the best." Zuo Ye tilted her head, reaching out for a touch, and Xu Huiyin's hand was already there.

Xie Shuyu propped her elbow on the window, covering her mouth with her hand, feeling like she was being bull!ed.

But before even an hour had passed, in the waiting hall, in the time it took Xie Shuyu to use the restroom, the two had gotten into a fight.

"I told you, I don't want plain water. I want that sweet and sour one, and you just wouldn't." Zuo Ye complained that Xu Huiyin wouldn't buy her a drink.

Xu Huiyin said, "Your teeth are already bad, and you still want something sweet? That stuff is all additives, it's not healthy."

"If I don't drink something sweet, I'm in a bad mood, and if I'm in a bad mood, I can't possibly be healthy." Zuo Ye had her reasoning.

"Too much sugar intake speeds up skin aging and makes you gain weight. Aren't you trying to build your glutes? Fitness means controlling your diet even more." Xu Huiyin twisted open a bottle cap and handed it over. "I got you sparkling water, it's sweet too. Same thing."

"You're dissatisfied with my body." Zuo Ye refused to take it and started defining the situation.

Xie Shuyu stood nearby listening for a while, took a sip of water, and figured it wasn't a big deal, so she didn't mediate, just kept an eye on the boarding time.

On Xu Huiyin's side and Zuo Ye's side, they couldn't openly turn hostile in front of her, nor could they throw a tantrum and just walk off, so they each turned their faces away, and even after boarding the train, neither was speaking to the other.

Three-seat row. Originally Zuo Ye sat in the middle, but now it was Xie Shuyu, with Xu Huiyin by the window. Xie Shuyu tried to lighten the mood, nudging with her elbow. "Nice view. Look, there are peach blossoms."

Zuo Ye suddenly shoved Xie Shuyu's thigh. "Don't talk to her."

Before Xie Shuyu could even open her mouth, Xu Huiyin wasn't having it. "She's not just your friend, she's my friend too. Why can't she talk to me?"

"I knew her first!" Zuo Ye said with full confidence.

Xu Huiyin said, "Does knowing someone earlier mean the relationship is the best?"

Zuo Ye: "Of course!"

Xu Huiyin: "Then why aren't you two together?"

Zuo Ye: "Because she knew Wen Wan even earlier."

Xu Huiyin: "She's not with Wen Wan either."

Zuo Ye was momentarily speechless. That actually made some sense.

"Can't argue with that?" Xu Huiyin raised an eyebrow.

"But who said knowing someone early means you have to be together? Being friends lasts longer than being lovers. Look at her and Wen Wan, they've known each other for almost twenty years and they're still thick as thieves."

Zuo Ye got more and more into it. "Twenty years, what does that mean? That's a porcelain anniversary. And what's porcelain? Fired at temperatures of several hundred or even a thousand degrees."

She cleared her throat and, out of nowhere, put on a mock-Japanese accent: "As an old Chinese saying goes, 'True porcelain fears not the test of fire'..."

Xu Huiyin was tickled into a fit of laughter.

Xie Shuyu laughed along too, and as she was laughing, Zuo Ye shoved her. "Switch seats."

Outnumbered and outmatched, what could Xie Shuyu do? She switched.

The two beside her had made up. Xu Huiyin said, "Baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so harsh on you. Your feelings do matter more. Drinking something sweet once in a while is fine. Online experts say that when you're feeling down or lacking vitamin B, you crave sugar... I was neglecting you."

"No, no," Zuo Ye took the opening to back down. "You were looking out for me. And you already got me sparkling water, right? We agreed not to eat junk food."

Xie Shuyu let out a soft chuckle.

"What are you laughing at?" Zuo Ye looked at her.

Xie Shuyu kept her gaze fixed on the rushing scenery outside the window. "My mom said something similar to me once, told me not to hang around trash people."

Zuo Ye: "Who are you calling trash?"

Xie Shuyu: "Who are you calling trash."

Zuo Ye laughed instead of getting angry. "It's fine. Even if I'm trash, I'm trash with a girlfriend."

"Don't say it like that," Xu Huiyin cooed.

Unable to take it anymore, Xie Shuyu got up and left.

She stood at the connection between two carriages, feeling thin threads of wind slipping through the gaps, carrying with them an indescribably complex smell that lingered in the train.

White sneakers, wide-leg jeans, a gray hoodie, she leaned against the wall, hands in her pockets, gazing out the window, still looking like a college student. For this trip, she only carried the plain canvas tote she usually brought to work, with a power bank, her ID, some paper, and lip balm inside.

Zuo Ye mentioned Wen Wan frequently, there was nothing unusual about that. They had come out this time precisely to celebrate Wen Wan's birthday. But because of that dream, the name "Wen Wan" had taken on a different kind of tender affection.

Wen Wan hadn't gone home for Spring Festival. The last time they'd seen each other was at the end of December, on her birthday.

By the end of March this year, that would be over ninety days.

The drive wasn't long, just over two hours. Meeting up wouldn't have been hard, really, but there was no proper excuse, and no certainty the other person even wanted to see her.

Ninety days, from deep winter to early spring, ice melting, snow thawing, all things flourishing and growing, migratory birds returning.

What should she say when she saw Wen Wan?

Long time no see.

How have you been?

Or...

..."I've missed you."

BACK | TABLE OF CONTENTS | NEXT