CHAPTER 14

The night seen from the second floor resembled summer.

In the past, the night sky in spring was like a layer of plastic wrap, while summer felt like velvet, autumn like a mesh, and winter like a heavy gray blanket. The texture of the sky was fascinating.

During the war, the sky was always a heavy, leaden gray, pressing down on us, hindering the flickering signals of light and electronic detectors. Human flesh was worth even less than the signals, arranged in layers and collapsing one by one, with the remains buried in the soil, growing flowers that would devour people.

Carrying a can of instant coffee, I went down to the basement, trying to avoid the noise of opening the can being heard. I lifted the hem of my clothes, poured the coffee powder inside, and quickly ran back to the kitchen like a thief with my loot. I brewed the coffee and brought it upstairs to sit by the window, enjoying the night view.

Li Haohao was asleep, or perhaps her sense of smell was sensitive enough to detect the aroma of instant coffee, and she would come upstairs curiously to interrogate me.

Strangely enough, that didn't happen. She quietly stayed downstairs, sleeping in the men's changing room with the door wide open. Her shoes were turned upside down on the floor, her legs spread apart, and the blanket lying on the ground.

I picked up the quilt and covered her with it, but she didn't stir. Her disheveled hair was messily piled on the bed, and the light bulb was faintly visible among the tangles.

A bed facing a mirror, with the mirror cracked in half. I looked at my fragmented reflection in the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes, and pale lips. I always seemed lifeless, and it felt strange to scrutinize myself in the late night, so I turned away.

Li Haohao had seen another researcher here, she had two thick braids.

Who was she again? She hadn't appeared yet. I gently pressed my hand against the mirror.

When I came to my senses, the cracks on the mirror had disappeared, and the fragmented versions of myself had merged into one. I felt a bit dizzy looking at my own reflection. What had happened? Were the cracks before just my imagination?

I immediately went to check on Li Haohao, but she still slept with her legs raised, not looking very comfortable.

I had just been reminiscing about the researcher who had reached for the mirror...

I knocked my head to stop myself from thinking further.

Returning to my room on the third floor, I pulled all the drawers to ensure they were locked. I took off my coat and hung it behind the door, blocking it.

Li Haohao has grown a very curious lightbulb, making her even more eager to pry into my secrets.

After the war, my sleep quality had deteriorated. My ears were sensitive, picking up the slightest sound in the darkness.

So when Li Haohao screamed, I immediately rushed down, opened the door to the men's changing room, but she wasn't there.

Despite not turning on the lights, thanks to the moonlight, I could still see the outlines of objects in the outpost. Li Haohao had a light bulb that could be illuminated with a flick of her finger, and it wouldn't vanish.

But she was truly nowhere to be found.

I came out of the changing room and walked towards the kitchen and washroom, searching every possible place where Li Haohao might be. I searched them all.

The second scream came from downstairs.

In the basement, she was being disobedient.

I found Li Haohao outside the cold storage room. When I saw her, she was sitting on the floor, curled up in a daze.

I approached, and Li Haohao lifted her head from the tangle of messy hair, revealing a pair of innocent eyes. "He Ran."

My name is He Ran. Ah, yes, I am the researcher He Ran.

I composed myself for a moment.

"What's wrong?"

"Someone spoke to me."

"What did they say?"

She didn't speak anymore, just shook her head as if something had scared her.

"Do you want something to eat?" Usually, giving her some food would make Li Haohao stop misbehaving.

She shook her head.

I couldn't quite understand her meaning, so I stood there.

The corridor on the lower floor was pitch black, with no light coming in from outside.

But the light was on, and sometimes the walls seemed alive, gradually opening their eyes in the dim light as if someone was watching us from the walls.

I reached out a hand. "Can you stand up?"

She could stand up. She reached out and grabbed me, her touch cold like a corpse.

I turned her hand back and pinned her to the ground.

She was not Li Haohao.

At first, she struggled like a live fish, but soon she stopped moving. Her body was incredibly cold. She lay on the ground, trying hard to turn her head to look at me. If I allowed her to twist her neck 180 degrees, I would see Li Haohao's face, so I pressed her head down.

Her arms tried to twist in a bizarre way, and her legs tried to fold back, but I held them down.

Whoever she was, she now had Li Haohao's appearance, but she didn't have that cracked light bulb. Li Haohao wouldn't cower with her knees up, waiting for me to save her. In the unseen places, she always acted recklessly.

Besides, Li Haohao wouldn't shake her head at food.

This judgment was superficial. Based on my experience of interacting with Li Haohao for less than two months, I couldn't jump to conclusions.

After holding down the "Li Haohao" for a while, she stopped struggling.

I began to question her, "Where is Li Haohao?"

She remained silent.

"Why did you lure me here? What do you intend to do?"

Still, she didn't say anything.

I want to judge with a rational mindset. Firstly, the main gate of the outpost is closed and protected by an electric fence, so this person must be an insider. There are no insiders that I am unaware of, it's just that I can't recall them at the moment.

I lifted her up and dragged her towards the notice board on the first floor.

"Everyone in the outpost has to report here, at this spot," I took a piece of paper and slapped it on the table, "Self-portrait."

She pointed to "Firefighter Li Haohao," and I took out my gun and pointed it at her head. "Be honest."

But it seemed that I had misunderstood something. She turned her head, staring straight at me, tilting her head in confusion.

"Speak." I commanded.

"He Ran, she is very dangerous, you must be careful. I came to warn you."

"Hmm?" I realized that this person in front of me didn't possess much hostility. Initially, she grabbed my hand, but it was just a reflex on my part—I holstered my gun and stared at her. Even though she had Li Haohao's appearance, I could increasingly discern the differences. She had a different core, a person who was very familiar to me—

At least her subtle expressions were different. There was always a hint of mockery in her expression. Who was she again?

"Don't you remember? I am your friend. The entire outpost has been polluted, and you can only trust me."

She stood up excitedly, holding the paper, and glanced at the notice board. She pointed to the girl with braids. "You have been polluted, but it's okay. I have been polluted too. We can maintain our sanity to some extent and live like normal people."

After she finished speaking, I felt like I remembered something.

What she said, wasn't it the same theory I had been insisting on?

I nodded. "That's right."

"The level of pollution in me is lower than yours, so I remember more things. If you listen to what I say, you will realize that I am right. You will understand it yourself."

I continued to listen to her, looking at this person who felt so familiar. On the surface, she appeared to be the relatively familiar Li Haohao, but on the paper, she drew a hollow figure and filled it with black lines.

"He Ran, this is our normal self, a blank slate. The polluted individuals are the ones painted black. However, some people may only have a slight pollution, and their perception of the world may be different from regular people, but it won't pose significant issues. These people were sent to mental institutions before the war... Their thoughts won't affect normal individuals."

She lightly shaded an area on the paper. "But as you know, the human brain can influence our perception of reality. For example, some amputees may experience phantom limb pain. Although it's not a perfect analogy, you can understand what I mean."

"Yes."

"But later, the number of polluted individuals increased. One person pointed at a dog and claimed it was a cat. They firmly believed it, and more people also firmly believed it. Eventually, their collective will influenced others to the point that when people approached this group, they unconsciously believed that the dog was indeed a cat."

"I understand the basic premise."

"Yes, that's how pollution started. Later, powerful sources of pollution emerged. It didn't require being part of a group. just one person could easily influence the thoughts of others... to the extent that being near them and making contact would overturn one's previous cognition. The contagiousness of pollution grew stronger."

"If it's only that..."

"He Ran, but we are different. My pollution level is 10%," she drew a small figure, coloring the ankles black, and drew another small figure, coloring the knees black, "Your pollution level is 20%. But aren't more than half of us still normal? So, we are undoubtedly normal. However, if it exceeds 50%, meaning more than half is polluted, then that person is no longer human but a pollutant. The higher the pollution level, the more dangerous it becomes and the easier it is to pollute those with lower pollution levels, eventually controlling an entire area."

"I see."

"We are friends, He Ran. Don't you remember me?"

I couldn't recall who she was, but she kept tracing that twisted braid on the paper.

"Lin Buxiu?" I was uncertain.

She nodded, "We are both researchers. have you forgotten? I live next to the commander, and we are in the same team. You are a retired soldier, so I'm usually the one driving. Suddenly, you would open the roof cover and start shooting. Do you remember that?"

I couldn't remember very well, but I knew that everything she said earlier was correct. However, I couldn't remember my pollution level... In the past, we used to regularly collect our blood for testing, but the equipment broke and we never received the supplies for that part. We just lived in a haze of confusion.

Lin Buxiu observed my expression.

I looked back at her and thought for a moment. "You came to remind me that Li Haohao is dangerous?"

"Yes."

"But... why did you transform into Li Haohao's appearance and lure me into the basement?"

This time, I didn't reach for my gun. I wasn't sure if I could shoot Li Haohao's face.

I wasn't sure if the person in front of me was truly Li Haohao's body or just my hallucination.

"Don't you remember? He Ran, I'm already dead. I can't live as a normal person anymore." She cried and laughed, wearing Li Haohao's face with that expression, which felt eerie to me.

"I remember that."

"I didn't expect you to discover it so quickly. I didn't want you to find out about my actions in the cold storage room, so I made a sound to attract you. I never intended to replace her and live by your side."

She was surprisingly frank.

"What were you doing in the cold storage room?"

She put on that crying and laughing expression again, but perhaps because I gradually remembered what Lin Buxiu looked like, every expression on her face carried a twisted smirk. "How could you forget everything? You killed me. You put my body in the cold storage room. You placed me next to Zhao Xinyan."

Zhao Xinyan...

Ah, yes, I killed two people.

"You stabbed me. You said that Zhao Xinyan and I were friends, so you buried me in a large bin. You also buried Zhao Xinyan in a bin. You froze us in the cold storage room, and you forgot about us. I wanted to make you remember."

"You forgot about us because you did something wrong. You killed Zhao Xinyan, you killed me. You know you killed the wrong person, so you can't bear to look at us. You deceived yourself and forgot about us."

I furrowed my brow. That statement made me uncomfortable. I only remembered killing two people, and I didn't kill Zhan Yicheng, but I still forgot about him.

"But it doesn't matter. We are friends, He Ran. We are friends. We can only rely on each other... We only have each other... That Li Haohao is really dangerous..."

She suddenly reached out to hug me, and I pressed the gun barrel against her head.

"I was in the men's locker room and killed you." It was difficult for me to recall.

"Yes."

"Then I dragged your body down to the basement and placed it next to Zhao Xinyan."

"Mhm." Lin Buxiu's eyes almost teared up, and she reached out to embrace me again.

"What were you doing in the basement?"

"We are friends, He Ran. After that incident, there were only the three of us in the outpost: you, me, and Zhao Xinyan. We lived together. We are friends, and friends should be together."

She suddenly grinned, displaying an eerily standard smile. "Friends should be together."

"We are friends?" I repeated. Those words seemed to have a magical effect, and I unconsciously wanted to loosen my grip on the gun, wanting to open my arms and embrace Lin Buxiu.

An inexplicable emotion suddenly surged within me.

Yes, after that incident, there were only the three of us in the outpost. The three of us buried our other comrades, and from then on, we always moved together.

No, not the three of us together.

I snapped back to reality, and Lin Buxiu's arm was already draped over my shoulder.

She showed a creepy smile. "We are friends..."

"I have no friends." I yanked her arm and let it go, picking up a pen and adding a name to her braid:

Researcher Lin Buxiu

"We are friends, He Ran. We are friends, we really are friends..." She repeated incessantly. I walked towards the men's locker room, lifted the covers, and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the intact mirror.

"This is where I killed you." With the memories, I remembered that this mirror should have been cracked, with a knife stabbed into it, causing the upper half to shatter.

Now it was undamaged. I shook it, but it couldn't reflect my face.

After a while, it seemed like there was a room inside. A girl with two braids walked out from deep within the mirror. She tilted her head, suddenly excited, and jumped up, pointing a finger and angrily gesturing twice, motioning beside her head.

I looked at "Li Haohao" standing beside me.

"Lin Buxiu, give Li Haohao back."

"We are friends who have shared life and death... She is a monster."

"Your friend is Zhao Xinyan. I let you two stay together. Aren't you satisfied? Oh, I see, he died on the third floor, and you died here, lingering, rarely encountering each other. When you return Li Haohao, I will shatter this mirror and let you meet in the basement."

"Li Haohao is a monster."

"There were many abnormal things after the war, beasts, pollutants, acting recklessly because of their abnormality. I don't care about anything else, as long as I'm in the outpost, the outpost must maintain its normal working order. I will ensure that everything inside the outpost does its own normal tasks, even if it's a bit challenging. I know that for your normal self, you were terrified, desperately seeking companionship—to escape from me. Weren't you scared of Li Haohao while also trying to win her over, telling her that I am terrifying?"

"Being in a large bin is abnormal for me, He Ran. My pollution level is only ten percent. Even as your pollution, I can maintain my sanity. I can't stay in a bin all the time, that's not normal."

"It's quite normal. You like making friends, so stay with your friends. I put you all in the cold storage room... For me, that's normal."

"I want to go back to my room. I think Zhao Xinyan probably thought the same. Our pollution levels are low... We can maintain the normalcy you mentioned."

"For you, your normalcy is grabbing Zhao Xinyan and sticking together when facing me, even if it means becoming pollution. I'm not mistaken. Your normalcy is to stay with him in the bin in the cold storage room. Now, bring out Li Haohao."

I realized I was getting angry. I couldn't quite grasp the meaning of what I was saying, and even if I said it, I couldn't remember exactly what happened between Zhao Xinyan, Lin Buxiu, and me that led me to kill two individuals with low pollution levels.

I remember being a person with a calm mindset.

My arm seemed to tremble, so I closed my eyes slightly and took a deep breath.

There was a glimmer of light through my eyelids. It was becoming bright outside.

I furrowed my brow, suddenly realizing that a mess of hair was wrapped around my shoulder.

I opened my eyes and was greeted by the brightly shining light bulb of Li Haohao in front of me.

She didn't know when she sat back on the edge of the bed, lifted her foot, and placed her leg across mine. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and she buried her head, with the crack of the light bulb facing me.

"What are you doing?"

"Today, out of curiosity, I looked into the mirror and accidentally went inside."

"Went inside the mirror?"

"Yes, there was nothing inside. I walked for a long time."

"How did you come out?" I pretended not to know what had happened.

"The person inside the mirror and I switched, so I came back."

"Are you okay then?"

"Yes, I am."

"Then let's go to sleep."

I leaned forward, pulled the blanket, and used my elbow to smash the mirror that had mysteriously become whole again.

Li Haohao was startled by the cracking sound and shrunk her shoulders in fear, saying something annoying: "I think I smelled something before. Did you eat something behind my back?"

"I had a cup of coffee." I didn't lie.

"I want some too."

I got up, and Li Haohao said, "You're not wearing shoes."

I took off her slippers and headed down to the basement, carrying two cups of instant coffee. I came back and Li Haohao said, "It doesn't taste very good." She commented like a coffee connoisseur, but she still finished it. When I finished mine, I rinsed the two cups and eagerly ran back, saying, "You must be hiding something else to eat."

"Go to sleep."

"I heard you talking to that person, that Lin... something. There's food in the cold storage room, isn't there?" She had a mischievous look on her face, and I remembered Lin Buxiu calling her a monster.

I don't know if it was the warmth from the coffee or the challenges of maintaining normalcy today, but I felt a bit dizzy.

"Does living a so-called 'normal' life burden you a lot?"

"I'm hungry," she covered her stomach and rubbed it. "I'm always hungry."

"You can just eat me, here." I extended my arm.

Li Haohao stared at me, suddenly a little angry, "Deception!"

"It's just a joke."

"Don't joke like that." She pressed down my arm very seriously, paused for a moment, and then held my hand, placing it on her stomach.

"Is your stomach hurting?"

"There's food here, I'm not hungry."

"I see."

She gently moved my hand to her chest, through her clothes and against her flesh, and it felt like her heartbeat was pulsating in my palm. Li Haohao then pulled my hand towards her forehead.

"Here, and here, very hungry."

Then she opened her mouth and lightly bit my wrist before letting go. "Eating like this won't work."

Suddenly, I didn't know whether I should let her continue explaining. My vision became blurry, and there was a strange intuition that clarifying the truth about this "eating people" could be very dangerous.

"How should you eat then?" I pretended to continue with this excessive joke, suppressing the strange feeling in my heart.

Li Haohao looked at me deeply, puffed her cheeks, exhaled, and then turned over and lay down. "Like the lamp in a comic book, I ate the lamp."

Her finger flexed, and the light bulb flickered.

"Does the lamp in the comic book cease to exist?"

It shouldn't be that principle because my cat in the photo still exists.

"I can't explain... It's not that kind of eating. Don't make this kind of joke anymore. I won't eat you. Repay me instead. I want to eat meat." she said in a sulky tone, and I roughly understood what she meant.

"So, the things that grow out of you, you can control them?"

"I already said I can't."

"Then..."

"I ate the entire comic book, ate the cat too. Sometimes, even if I don't eat something, it still grows."

She sat up and continued, "If I eat you, then I'll have you. I won't need you anymore. Is that clear? You're so stupid! Go grow a light bulb or something!"

She got frustrated for a moment, then realized her tone wasn't good, or perhaps she realized she had said something dreadful. She covered her mouth and looked at me, seeing no expression on my face, before rolling up in the quilt and lying down heavily.

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