CHAPTER 131

After Tang Ruoyao called out, she wanted to see Qin Yinong's reaction. She wondered if her fair cheeks would flush with shyness. But unexpectedly, Qin Yinong suddenly hugged her tightly, keeping her motionless in her embrace.

Tang Ruoyao couldn't even turn her head to look at Qin Yinong's face, let alone her ears.

Tang Ruoyao always respected Qin Yinong's wishes. Since she was holding her, she decided not to move. She obediently asked in a soft voice, "What's wrong?"

Qin Yinong's tone didn't reveal any emotions as she said, "It doesn't sound good."

Tang Ruoyao found it amusing and thought, "If it doesn't sound good, why did you hug me so tightly after hearing it?" But since Qin Yinong said it didn't sound good, she played along and asked, "Which one do you like to hear then?"

Qin Yinong's voice sounded muffled as she replied, "I don't like any of them."

Tang Ruoyao coaxed her, saying, "Then I won't say any of them, okay?"

The woman fell silent for a second and gently rested her chin on Tang Ruoyao's shoulder, saying, "Okay."

A subtle chill passed through Tang Ruoyao's heart, as if something was amiss.

She knew Qin Yinong was broad-minded, especially when it came to acting. She had always been Tang Ruoyao's guide and wouldn't hold a grudge for too long due to Tang Ruoyao's need to evoke emotions for filming. But now, Tang Ruoyao suddenly wasn't so sure.

No matter how generous she was in her rationality, emotionally she was still a vulnerable woman. So was she still upset?

Tang Ruoyao retrieved her prepared lines, gently combing through the long, black hair behind Qin Yinong's back with her slender fingers. She carefully chose her words and said, "I'll be done filming soon."

Qin Yinong responded with a simple "Hmm."

Tang Ruoyao continued, "So situations like today won't happen too often. The next time I film a scene like this, you can pretend I'm sleeping in the hotel and didn't come to the set. There won't be Tang Ruoyao on set, only Han Zifei. That person will have no connection with you."

Qin Yinong clenched her fingers, her jawline tensing. She replied, "Hmm."

"I ignored you today, I'm sorry." Tang Ruoyao apologized once again, full of sincerity.

"It's okay." Qin Yinong still said.

Tang Ruoyao took the opportunity to wrap her arms around Qin Yinong's shoulders and rested her chin on the soft crown of her head, rubbing against it gently. She made a sincere promise, saying, "Everything is just a temporary compromise. I promise that after filming is over, I'll definitely recover. By then, I'll be taking care of you on set every day, serving you tea, massaging your waist and legs. How about that?"

Qin Yinong lowered her gaze and smiled, with only the corners of her lips slightly upturned, concealing her true emotions.

Tang Ruoyao closed her eyes and gently kissed the woman's forehead.

Qin Yinong nestled deeper into her embrace and said, "I'm feeling a little cold."

Tang Ruoyao was already hugging her tightly, she took Qin Yinong's right hand, which was hanging by her side, and rubbed it, blowing warm air into it. She expressed her concern, "Why are you so cold?" It was already summer.

Qin Yinong replied, "You know, I have a cold body."

Tang Ruoyao seemed to have assumed the role of her girlfriend. They were only missing the official title, which would likely come soon. So, Tang Ruoyao half-jokingly teased, "You're dressed too lightly." She pretended to get up and said, "Let me get you a jacket. Are they all in the changing room?"

Qin Yinong held her back and pointed to a thin blanket on the other side of the couch.

Tang Ruoyao grabbed the blanket and spread it over Qin Yinong, covering her completely.

Tang Ruoyao tightly held Qin Yinong's hand and asked with concern, "Feeling better?"

A warm feeling emanated from the blanket, accompanied by the meticulous care of the young woman beside her. In the familiar embrace, Qin Yinong hesitated for a moment.

She tugged at Tang Ruoyao's sleeve.

Tang Ruoyao lowered her head and asked, "Hmm?"

Qin Yinong tentatively asked, "Do you like me dressed like this?"

Like what? Tang Ruoyao took a second to react before realizing she was referring to the iconic red dress. She said, "I like it. Haven't you always dressed like that?"

Qin Yinong narrowed her eyes and said, "For a while, I wore long sleeves and pants every day."

Tang Ruoyao said, "I like that too." She thought for a moment and asked, "Do you prefer a more casual style?"

Qin Yinong nodded.

Tang Ruoyao smiled and said, "Then dress more casually. Your happiness is the most important."

The words "Who am I" almost slipped out of Qin Yinong's mouth, but afraid that Tang Ruoyao would become suspicious, she swallowed it back and softly said, "Mmm."

Tang Ruoyao looked at how obedient she was and felt overwhelmed with tenderness. Unable to resist, she lowered her head and slowly kissed away the rosy blush on her lips.

When they separated, Tang Ruoyao met Qin Yinong's slightly bewildered dark eyes and chuckled, "Did you forget what you told me this morning?"

"What?" Qin Yinong asked.

"I said I had a dream where you kissed me, and you said you wanted to make my dream come true." Tang Ruoyao playfully flicked the woman's nose and said with a light laugh.

"Your dream hasn't come true yet." Qin Yinong replied.

"Why?" Tang Ruoyao asked.

"Because..." Qin Yinong straightened up, lifted her finger to hold the young woman's chin, forcing her to look up with a sharp gaze. "In your dream, I kissed you, not the other way around."

Tang Ruoyao was like a spring. When Qin Yinong was weak, she was strong, and when Qin Yinong was strong, she was weak. It was a constant back and forth. Now that Qin Yinong suddenly became assertive, Tang Ruoyao felt a bit weak in the knees.

She leaned forward, but Qin Yinong moved back, not letting her make contact.

Tang Ruoyao opened her eyes, showing a hint of confusion.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Qin Yinong suddenly sealed her lips.

No matter who is in front of her, whether it's Tang Ruoyao or not, she is not Shen Muqing. The only person she wants the other party to recognize and remember is Qin Yinong.

For a long time after that, Tang Ruoyao's mind was blank, and the images that appeared before her were all things that happened much later.

Qin Yinong brought two glasses of water and placed one in Tang Ruoyao's absent-minded hands, her voice hoarse as she said, "Have some."

Tang Ruoyao clasped her hands together, lowered her head, and quietly stole glances at Qin Yinong. She met her teasing gaze but shyly averted her eyes.

This Qin Yinong was somewhat similar to the one she first met: gentle, powerful, and full of irresistible charm of a mature woman. The difference was that there was no longer a deliberate sense of distance that had been drawn before. She could hold her hand anytime, fingers tightly intertwined, just like an ordinary couple.

Qin Yinong watched as Tang Ruoyao's face grew redder under her gaze, her almond-shaped eyes slightly raised, and she sat down beside her.

"Do you like it?" she asked with a smile.

Tang Ruoyao nodded.

"Do you like it when I kiss you or when you kiss me?" Qin Yinong interjected before she could answer, "You can't say you like both."

Tang Ruoyao thought seriously for a moment, raised her eyes to quickly glance at Qin Yinong, then lowered them again, and hummed softly like a mosquito, "You kiss me." Being proactive meant expressing herself, while being receptive meant accepting. She could clearly feel that she was loved in Qin Yinong's kisses, and at the moment, it was more important to her than being a lover.

Qin Yinong ruffled her hair, her eyes curved, and she said, "Good girl."

Tang Ruoyao shrugged her shoulder and asked sheepishly, "So, can we...?"

Qin Yinong readily agreed.

She didn't want to indulge in her own subjective assumptions and self-pity. This was the only thing she wanted to actively strive for, and she couldn't bear to give it up. So she wanted to discover more about the side that belonged to Tang Ruoyao, the more, the better, to convince herself to persevere and not waver.

Sometimes, she truly envied Tang Ruoyao for having infinite courage to pursue, to be resilient. She couldn't do it herself. The slightest breeze or movement would stimulate her fragile and sensitive nerves. She feared light and darkness, fear of hurting and being hurt. Behind her was the hardened shell she had grown accustomed to, where she didn't have to worry about anything. It couldn't be touched by the wind or drenched by the rain. There was a dim oil lamp that wasn't bright, but it was enough to support her to live peacefully. But she had experienced the beauty of flowers and sunlight outside, and her feet were like roots planted in place, unable to retreat.

She wanted to be brave for Tang Ruoyao, even though it was difficult and would require a great deal of effort and self-struggle. She still wanted to... give it a try.

If the ending still turned out to be a failure...

With her eyes closed, Tang Ruoyao didn't see Qin Yinong slowly opening her eyes, a fleeting glimmer of tears shining in their depths.

......

"Guan Han, have you finished organizing the rest of the information?" In the car on the way back, Qin Yinong pointed to Tang Ruoyao's encyclopedia page on the tablet. She was already familiar with the information inside, but she still clicked on the page and scrolled up and down.

Guan Han said, "It's done. If there's anything missing, I'll supplement it later."

Qin Yinong nodded.

Guan Han asked, "Are you feeling better now?"

Qin Yinong flipped through a page of the photo album and said, "It's okay."

The other assistants in the car exchanged a confused glance, filled with puzzlement.

Qin Yinong looked up, surveyed the group of children who had been silent in meditation all day, and smiled, "Why is it so quiet? A'xiao, sing a song for me."

A'xiao hesitated for a moment, glanced at Guan Han, who showed no expression, and nodded. She then responded, "Sure, what does Qin Jie want to hear?"

Qin Yinong smiled and asked, "What does everyone want to hear? Just pick anything."

The assistants became lively, all speaking at once:

"36 Strategies of Love."

"The Moon Represents My Heart!"

"Glorious Years!"

"Persian Cat! In Chinese!"

A'xiao rolled her eyes and exclaimed, "What are these outdated songs? Young people, can't we be more fashionable? Let's have something new. What do you think, Qin Jie?"

Qin Yinong hummed and said seriously, "Then let's go with 'Wine and Coffee.' It was released in 1972, widely known, and even older than me, the oldest person present here."

Everyone burst into laughter.

A'xiao obediently searched for the accompaniment on her phone, cleared her throat, and started singing, "Wine and coffee... I just want to have a drink... It reminds me of the past, and I have another cup..."

Everyone in the car, including Qin Yinong, clapped in sync, except for the poker-faced Guan Han.

The journey was filled with laughter and joy. Although Guan Han didn't smile, there was a hint of warmth in her gaze as she looked at the group of young assistants who were young in age but not in their minds.

She couldn't make Qin Yinong happy, but this group of people could, each with their own strengths.

Qin Yinong didn't forget about Guan Han and leaned over to ask her in a low voice, "What song do you want to hear?"

Guan Han was slightly stunned and said, "I don't like listening to songs." She also didn't like singing.

A'xiao, feeling proud and carried away, shouted, "Sister Guan Han, sing a song for us!"

Guan Han's eye knife flew past, causing A'xiao to almost tumble off her seat, causing another burst of laughter.

Qin Yinong's lips curved into a mischievous smile as she clapped her hands and said, "One more time, Guan Han, Guan Han, one more time..."

The boss led the way, and the monkeys in the mountains popped their heads out one after another, joining in the chorus, "One more time, Guan Han, Guan Han, one more time..."

Five thousand ducks honked in unison, and even the driver sitting in the driver's seat could faintly hear the commotion, scratching his head in curiosity.

Normally, Guan Han would have retaliated with her own tactics,, but unfortunately, Qin Yinong, the big Buddha, present, things were different. Today, she had finally cheered up a bit, so Guan Han, willing to risk her life, said, "What do you want to hear?"

Qin Yinong smiled kindly and said, "Choose a song you're good at." She had never heard Guan Han sing before.

Guan Han asked, "Can I sing it acapella?" She wouldn't be able to find the right key with accompaniment.

Qin Yinong replied, "Sure."

Guan Han cleared her throat and after a while, earnestly sang a song titled "Loyalty to the Country."

When the car arrived at the hotel, everyone was still laughing uncontrollably and stumbled out of the car, supporting each other to stand side by side. Guan Han had a sullen face and was the second to last to get off the car. She waited dutifully by the car, ready to assist Qin Yinong.

Qin Yinong wiped away the tears of laughter from the corner of her eyes with a tissue in one hand and placed her other hand on Guan Han's arm, lifting her skirt as she got off the car.

Unable to address Qin Yinong directly, Guan Han sternly scolded the group of children, "What are you standing there for like door gods? Hurry up and go back!"

The group dispersed like birds and beasts. Before A'xiao ran off, she didn't forget to stick her tongue out at Guan Han mischievously.

Guan Han's anger surged within her chest.

Qin Yinong patted her hand and consoled, "We'll deal with them tomorrow."

Guan Han looked at her resentfully.

Qin Yinong felt guilty and awkwardly avoided her gaze, lowering her head to touch the tip of her nose.

How could she have known that Guan Han was tone-deaf, with a terrible singing voice?

If only she had known...

"What would you have done if you had known?" In the evening, Qin Yinong called Tang Ruoyao and told her this amusing incident. Tang Ruoyao laughed for a while before continuing with her question.

"I will record it and play it in your room to ward off evil and disasters." Qin Yinong said.

"You're teasing Guan Han so much, does Guan Han know?" Tang Ruoyao couldn't help but laugh.

"If she knew, she'd probably quit." Qin Yinong leaned against the table, idly playing with the ballpoint pen in her pen holder.

Tang Ruoyao burst into laughter.

Qin Yinong suddenly asked without warning, "Do you like me like this?"

Tang Ruoyao was puzzled but answered without hesitation, "Yes, I do." Liking doesn't require a reason, but love doesn't either. She loved the person she loved, no matter how Qin Yinong changed, she still liked her.

Her tone was sincere, she couldn't fake it.

Qin Yinong lightly bit her lower lip, feeling slightly relieved in her heart.

She was like a blind person feeling her way across the river, risking being swept away by the current. Each time she found a stone, it was like finding a treasure, holding onto it tightly. The destination was her love.

Tang Ruoyao sensed something was off and said, "Senior Qin."

"Hmm?"

"Do you have something you want to tell me? Or have you encountered any problems?"

Qin Yinong looked down at the pen in her hand and said, "No."

"Really?"

"Really." Qin Yinong knew she couldn't see, but still nodded as if convincing herself.

Not wanting to affect Tang Ruoyao's filming state, that was one of the main reasons Qin Yinong didn't tell her the truth. On a deeper level, she never had the intention to share with anyone, be it family, friends, or even the current "lover." Carrying everything by herself for so long, she gradually became accustomed to it. Even voluntarily expressing her feelings was a difficult thing for her. The last time was when Tang Ruoyao disregarded her pain, she couldn't help but reveal a bit of her true emotions.

She had grown accustomed to appearing as a protector and giver, protecting those she wanted to protect and showing the best side to the other person, while keeping the inner anxieties, chaos, and scars to herself.

It had been many years, and it couldn't be changed overnight. One day, she would realize that many things didn't need to be carried alone, learn to forgive herself, and the sky would be bright and beautiful for two people, with flowers, trees, and wild grass on the ground.

Tang Ruoyao was worried and said, "If there's anything, remember to tell me anytime. We'll face it together."

Qin Yinong replied, "Mmm."

A knock on the door sounded in her ear, followed by Guan Han's voice, "Qin Jie."

Qin Yinong told Tang Ruoyao a word and hung up the phone, then said, "Come in."

Guan Han entered and closed the door, saying, "I came to take the wine bottle away."

Qin Yinong nodded and took a few steps towards the window, creating space for her.

These things were usually personally collected by Guan Han. Qin Yinong was in a bad state in the morning, and Guan Han became anxious. She had to go downstairs to meet Tang Ruoyao, so she left it until the evening. Guan Han glanced at the newly opened bottle of whiskey next to her and the shallow amount of liquor left in the glass. She furrowed her brows slowly and said seriously, "You've been drinking again?"

Qin Yinong was taken aback and smiled playfully, "Don't I drink every day? Why are you making such a fuss?"

Guan Han didn't pass over her casual attitude and said in a deep voice, "I'm not talking about the kind of drinking to help sleep. Were you drunk last night?"

Qin Yinong pinched her thumb and index finger together, laughing lightly as she corrected her, "No, not completely." She wasn't completely drunk, but she did have a headache.

Guan Han said, "That just means your tolerance is getting better. You can drink so much and not get drunk."

Qin Yinong smiled, "Thanks for the compliment."

She clearly rejected further conversation, and Guan Han turned around, holding the wine bottle together. The glass bottle collided and made a clattering noise. Guan Han muttered to herself without lowering her voice, "You've been getting more and more aggressive when you drink, do you know that?"

Originally, Guan Han thought that being in a relationship would make her better, maybe she would gradually quit drinking. But the opposite happened. In just these three months of filming "True Colors," the movie wasn't even finished yet, and Guan Han knew of two instances where Qin Yinong got drunk, once even getting completely wasted. Now, even the usual amount she drank at night to help her sleep had increased.

A frozen smile appeared on Qin Yinong's lips.

Guan Han continued, "Last time, the family doctor clearly told you that your health is declining. You're thirty years old now. I'm not saying that you're old, Qin Jie, but you're definitely not the same as when you were in your twenties. You keep saying that you don't want to harm your body, but your current behavior is... " Guan Han paused and deliberately chose a serious word to frighten her, "chronic self-destruction, do you understand?"

Qin Yinong stared coldly at her, and Guan Han's accumulated courage vanished, leaving her dryly summarizing, "Moderate drinking is fine, but excessive drinking is harmful to your health."

Qin Yinong kept her gaze fixed on her, her eyes icy.Guan Han took a step back with the wine bottle, her back against the door panel. "Qin Jie, I'm leaving."

Qin Yinong said, "Wait."

Guan Han asked, "Is there anything else?"

Qin Yinong said indifferently, "You're just my assistant." She emphasized the word "assistant."

Guan Han pursed her lips tightly.

"I don't like talkative people. Remember your place and leave." Qin Yinong said and turned away without looking at her, her profile showing a cold and stern expression.

The sound of the door closing echoed in her ears.

Qin Yinong stood in place for a while, then turned around to look at the whiskey bottle with the cap tightly closed. The room's lighting rendered the amber liquid in the glass shimmering and radiant. She had poured herself half a glass, unknowingly drinking it all.

From the beginning of her career, rumors had been circulating about her. She couldn't bear the pressure of being slandered, so she chose the simplest and most direct method of resistance: numbing herself with alcohol, allowing her to temporarily forget those nightmares. As time went on, more and more things happened. Day after day, year after year, she developed a habit. But she always believed that she didn't have a drinking problem.

Qin Yinong picked up the glass and drank the remaining liquid at the bottom in one gulp. She didn't find it particularly tasty, not even as good as plain water, but she couldn't help herself. Bottle after bottle in the liquor cabinet was opened, and each day a little less remained. She used it as a means of adjustment when she was happy, as a solace when she was sad, as a relief when she was under stress, and even as a companion when she contemplated problems. It had become an essential part of her nightly routine.

The tolerance she had built up from drinking countless cups in drinking establishments had now become her biggest accomplice. When had it started? When had alcohol taken control of her instead?

She furrowed her brows and contemplated quietly, her eyes flickering between clarity and darkness.

After a while, she shivered and suddenly grabbed the glass on the table, rushing to the sink to clean it thoroughly. She put the whiskey bottle back in the cabinet, locked it, grabbed a towel, and wiped down the table, the bedside cabinet, and opened the windows for ventilation until not a trace of alcohol could be smelled. She lowered her gaze and watched as her slightly trembling hands gradually regained their calmness.

Qin Yinong raised her hand to wipe her face, suppressing her pounding heart, rubbing her unusually cold fingers together. She sat down at the desk, opened the computer, and searched for the keywords: "how to quit drinking."

.....

Guan Han came out of Qin Yinong's room, hugging the bottle of alcohol. The door across suddenly opened in front of her. Out of reflex, Guan Han tried to hide the bottle behind her, but due to Qin Yìnong's excessive drinking, her attempt to conceal it was unsuccessful.

Tang Ruoyao frowned, her gaze sharp. "What's that?"

Guan Han walked silently towards her own room.Tang Ruoyao reached out and grabbed her wrist, then quickly let go, remembering Guan Han's extraordinary strength. She adjusted her tone to a gentler one, smiling. "Sister Guan Han."

Guan Han stopped in her tracks, expressionless. "What's the matter?"

Tang Ruoyao noticed the bottle in her hand, and the lines between her eyebrows deepened. "Senior Qin is drinking again?"

Guan Han had just been scolded and had a bit of anger hidden inside her. Her emotions fluctuated, and she replied coldly, "Who else would it be?"

Tang Ruoyao asked, "Why? Is it from yesterday?"

Guan Han replied, "Ask her yourself," if she's willing to speak about it.

Guan Han calmly said, "Excuse me."

Tang Ruoyao said, "Guan Han—"

Guan Han quickly walked to the door, unable to hold back anymore. Since she had already crossed the line once today as an assistant, she might as well cross it again. If worse came to worst, she would simply be fired.

With a determined heart, she walked back a few steps and stood in front of Tang Ruoyao. She spoke each word clearly, "The bottles of alcohol I have in my hand were all drunk by her last night. I don't know why, but I know that if she continues drinking like this, she'll eventually drink herself to death."

Tang Ruoyao's pupils suddenly contracted, and she exclaimed, "What are you saying?"

Guan Han lifted the bottle she was holding and said indifferently, "If you still want to see her alive and kicking for a few more years, help her quit drinking."

"I understand." Tang Ruoyao's gaze grew heavy as she asked, "Did something happen yesterday?"

But once or twice was enough, not a third time. Guan Han had already broken the rules twice. Her overheated brain cooled down, especially considering that Qin Yinong had secretly asked her to investigate Tang Ruoyao. If she revealed it, what would happen to their relationship? She could be fired, but their couple pairing couldn't be broken.

So Guan Han chose to remain silent.

Tang Ruoyao narrowed her eyes and guessed, "Is it related to me?"

Guan Han's gaze subtly flickered.

She said, "I'm going back."

Tang Ruoyao watched her figure and thought to herself, it's indeed related to me.

She knew Qin Yinong had been acting hesitant today and had asked her multiple times if she liked her this way or that way. That woman must be overthinking things again.

Frustrated, Tang Ruoyao paced back and forth in her room, determined to have a good talk with Qin Yinong tomorrow.

Author's Note:

Guessing game question: The alcohol is a foreshadowing, guess where it will be used, and you'll receive a reward of 1000 Jinjiang coins. The answer will be revealed in a few days, hahaha.For someone like Sister Qin, she needs to drink eighty-eight cups of water to sober up ╰(*°▽°*)╯

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