CHAPTER 130
Qin Yinong washed the coffee cup at the sink, opened a bottle of red wine, poured half a glass and placed it nearby. She reluctantly sorted out her scattered emotions and continued watching the video below.
Tang Ruoyao had been studying at the Beijing Drama Academy, with her active periods revolving around films. Based on her described acting method, one could intuitively see the changes in her personality.
As the liquid in the wine bottle reached the bottom, Qin Yinong took the final sip, closed her computer.
From 8 p.m. to 2 a.m., the surroundings were quiet. When Qin Yinong stood up, her body swayed unsteadily. Her lips turned pale. In just a few short hours, she felt as if she had transcended into another world.
She slid the phone screen to silent mode and found Tang Ruoyao's messages filling the chat box, intermittently sent from 9 p.m. to 12 a.m.
[Senior Qin, are you done being busy?]
[Oh, I just went to get a glass of water, so I decided to send you a message. I wasn't neglecting the script.]
[Senior Qin, didn't you take any breaks in between?]
[I'm a little tired.]
[Sleep in one more hour.]
The last two were voice messages, and Qin Yinong's fingers trembled as she clicked on them.
Tang Ruoyao's voice sounded gentle as she lightly laughed, "Goodnight."
The next message had that noticeable cheerful tone of a young girl, "I'm really going to sleep now, miss you."
Qin Yinong mechanically replied with two words: [Goodnight]
.....
Tang Ruoyao slept until dawn, feeling refreshed in body and mind. The first thing she did upon opening her eyes was to reach for her phone on the bedside table and check her messages.
[2:06]
Qin Yinong: [Goodnight]
Tang Ruoyao immediately typed: [Why did you sleep so late?]
Suffering from a hangover and insomnia, Qin Yinong pinched the throbbing sensation between her brows. It felt as if her head was being split apart, causing intense pain. She released her fingers and pressed her forehead with a clenched fist, taking gentle breaths.
Guan Han brought a glass of warm water and turned to tidy up the wine bottle on the table.
The phone vibrated, and Qin Yinong picked it up. After reading the message, she replied: [Lost track of time for a moment.]
[Did you have a nightmare?] Tang Ruoyao was clearly waiting for her response and replied instantly.
[No.] Qin Yinong laughed at herself, realizing that reality was scarier than nightmares.
[Then did you have a sweet dream?]
[No, not that either.]
[I dreamt about you last night.] Tang Ruoyao said.
Qin Yinong lowered her hand from her forehead, slowly slid into the blanket, curled up on her side. Her eyes were slightly moist as she blinked forcefully and typed: [What did you dream about me?]
[I dreamt that you kissed me.] Tang Ruoyao chuckled while holding her phone. There were other things too, but it wasn't convenient to say, so she could only write a secret memo.
A few seconds later, a response came: [Hmm.]
Before Tang Ruoyao could react, another message popped up: [I'll make your dream come true later.]
The early morning lovey-dovey message caught Tang Ruoyao off guard, and her heartbeat suddenly quickened, and she shyly bit her lower lip.
[I'm going to freshen up.] Qin Yinong said.
[Alright, I'll do the same. See you on the first floor.] Tang Ruoyao put her phone back and put on her shoes.
Qin Yinong lay with her eyes closed for a while before getting up to freshen up. Due to her tired appearance, applying makeup took a bit more time, and Tang Ruoyao's footsteps became noticeably more impatient by the time she reached the first floor.
"Good morning." Tang Ruoyao looked at Qin Yinong's sunglasses.
"Morning." Qin Yinong nodded at her, with a calm expression.
Tang Ruoyao was used to this. They had to avoid suspicion when they were outside.
The crew's car had already arrived, and Tang Ruoyao was waiting downstairs just to catch a glimpse of Qin Yinong. Now that she had seen her, she took the initiative and said, "Senior Qin, I'll go to the set first."
Qin Yinong nodded.
Tang Ruoyao approached a bit closer, a hint of a smile in her eyes. She lowered her voice and said, "If you miss me, send me a message."
Qin Yinong looked deeply at her from behind her sunglasses.
She wouldn't completely reject the person in front of her, including her love, based on a few interview videos. However, she couldn't fully believe either. She needed time to slowly verify it. In any case, the production was about to end, and she wouldn't show any abnormalities in front of Tang Ruoyao that could affect her performance.
If the person who loves her is really Han Zǐfei, then for her, it would be another illusory dream. In the first half of her life, she didn't have many things she wanted to take the initiative to grasp, but everything went against her wishes. Would Tang Ruoyao be the same?
Why?
Qin Yinong suddenly raised her hand and pressed it tightly against her chest, as if a sharp blade had opened up her past, causing blood to flow aimlessly through her body, making her limbs icy cold.
"Qin Jie!" Guan Han anxiously held onto her arm. "What's wrong with you?"
Qin Yinong's face was unusually pale, her heart was throbbing, and she struggled to breathe, unable to speak a complete sentence. "I..."
"Let me help you sit over there first." Guān Hàn hurriedly said.
With Guan Han's support, Qin Yinong slowly sat down on the sofa, still holding her hand against her chest, and the other hand tightly gripping the cushion beside her, her knuckles turning white from the force.
Guan Han remembered how she was spinning around like an ant on a hot pan and said, "Should I take you to the hospital?"
Qin Yinong took a deep breath, struggling to say, "No need."
"How can we just let it go?" Guan Han said, "Is your body something to joke about? Last time the doctor told you to take care of yourself, and now it's different. You..."
Qin Yinong lifted her eyelids and interrupted her lightly, "Stop nagging."
Guan Han fell silent, but her eyes turned red.
Qin Yinong sighed and coaxed her gently, "I'll go see a doctor after we finish filming. Is that okay?"
She patiently explained to her assistant, "I'm just a little stressed, that's why I'm like this. I just need to rest for a while, and I'll be fine. When have you ever seen me not take care of myself? Huh?"
With her responsibilities towards her elderly parent and young child, with the intention of marrying Tang Ruoyao today and never leave her for the rest of her life. How could she casually neglect her own health?
Guan Han and Qin Yinong locked eyes for a long time. She sniffled and compromised, "Okay, after we finish filming, you must go for a check-up immediately."
Qin Yinong murmured, "Are you my boss now?" She raised her head and smiled, "Alright."
......
A'xiao and the others were forced to be mute today.
It wasn't that they had changed, but Guan Han was extremely vigilant against them. As soon as she saw them approaching Qin Yinong cheerfully, she shot them a fierce glare, scaring everyone into silence.
Qin Yinong closed one eye and let Guan Han go. She didn't feel like joking around with them today. Just dealing with Tang Ruoyao had already exhausted all her energy.
Tang Ruoyao was filming a heart-wrenching scene today.
After returning from the riverside, Han Zǐfei locked herself in her room, took out everything related to her and Shan Muqing, and spread them out on the table one by one. She had originally intended to destroy them, but in the end, she put them back in the box. Her fingers gently stroked the carved patterns on the box's surface as tears silently flowed down her face.
Sweet and romantic off-screen, heart-wrenching on-scene. The contrast was too great. In order to portray the character as authentically as possible, Tang Ruoyao had long started isolating herself in a small corner, bowing her head to gather her emotions.
On set, the lighting was being adjusted. Han Yuping held a pen and drew on paper, while Qin Yinong occasionally glanced in Tang Ruoyao's direction, unable to hide her concern.
Han Yuping put down the pen and happened to catch her heavy-hearted expression. He sighed and said, "You really don't need to be so nervous. Which actor hasn't experienced something like this? It's just a matter of degree, not everyone can bring out their emotions like you do. Besides, today's scene isn't as intense as yesterday's, so she'll quickly get out of character."
Qin Yinong didn't argue and simply made a low sound of agreement, her expression desolate.
Tang Ruoyao finished preparing and approached. Han Yuping said a few words about the scene with her, while Qin Yinong sat by the side. In order to maintain her state, Tang Ruoyao never once looked in her direction, nor did she notice the woman's sorrowful gaze.
"Scene 49, one continuous shot, action!"
Han Zǐfei rested her chin on the wooden box filled with memories of her and Shen Muqung, tears sliding down her cheeks.
......
Han Yuping: "Cut." He watched the playback and frowned, "Let's do another take."
While the actors were still in the scene, the makeup artist didn't even dare to breathe and hurriedly touched up Tang Ruoyao's makeup. Han Yuping directed the lighting adjustment, and all departments and actors took their positions.
"Scene 49, second take, action!"
"Cut." Han Yuping shouted, "Next shot, get ready, we'll start in ten minutes."
The crew members on set busied themselves without delay.
Tang Ruoyao remained in her room for the next shot, so she didn't move and simply stayed in character, staring blankly ahead. Qin Yinong pinched her palm with her fingertips, retracting the steps she had just taken.
"Qin Jie." Guan Han brought a bottle of water and handed it over.
Qin Yinong took it but didn't open it, saying, "Thank you."
Guan Han asked, "Don't you want to go see Miss Tang?"
Qin Yinong shook her head, her gaze fixed on Tang Ruoyao the whole time, and softly said, "No, let's not disturb her."
She was a little scared to see Tang Ruoyao's numb and cold gaze again. Yesterday, she could convince herself that it was temporary, that Tang Ruoyao was Tang Ruoyao and Han Zǐfei was Han Zǐfei. But today, she suddenly lost the reasons to support herself.
So, forget it.
Guan Han keenly sensed that something was wrong.
Considering what she had said about being disturbed earlier this morning, could it be another conflict? They were all fine when they went back yesterday, right?
She looked at Qin Yinong again. The heaviness was emanating from her entire being. Even the smile she often had on her face was nowhere to be seen.
"Scene 49, second take, action!"
Han Zǐfei sat motionless in the room for a long time, with dried tears on her face.
Han's mother knocked on her room door, her footsteps resounding loudly. She sounded anxious and frustrated, saying, "You brat, you came back but you didn't even say a word. If we hadn't seen your shoes at the door, your father and I would have gone crazy looking for you."
Han Zǐfei spoke calmly, "Mom, I'm all grown up. I won't get lost."
Han's mother said angrily, "Open the door."
Han Zǐfei covered herself with the blanket and lay down with her clothes on, saying, "I'm going to sleep."
Han's mother said, "You brat!"
"I really am going to sleep. Let's talk about it tomorrow if there's something." Han Zǐfei yawned and said, "I'm so tired."
Han's mother paused for a moment on the other side of the door, then said, "Fine, you sleep. I'm going to sleep too."
"Goodnight, Mom."
"Goodnight." Han's mother smiled and turned around, making a "shh" gesture to Han's father who was approaching.
Han Zǐfei stared at the ceiling with empty eyes.
"Scene 49, third take, action!"
The next morning, the family of three had breakfast together.
Han Zǐfei picked up a pickled radish with her chopsticks, put it in her spoon, took the last mouthful of porridge, put down her chopsticks, and said, "Mom, Dad, the school is arranging an internship out of town. I won't be coming home for a few months."
"Scene 49, fourth take, action!"
Han's mother rummaged through boxes and cabinets, packing her daughter's luggage. As she packed, she kept nagging, asking when she wore this and when she wore that. She reminded her to check the weather forecast, to keep warm, and to call when she had free time. Han Zǐfei watched silently, feeling uneasy, and called out, "Mom."
Han's mother turned back and asked, "What's wrong?"
Han Zǐfei suppressed her choked voice and her eyes, which were barely noticeable, turned red. She said, "Nothing. Let's pack together."
"Scene 49, fifth take, action!"
Han Zǐfei stood in the alley, dragging her suitcase. She took one last deep look at the fiery phoenix tree in Shen Muqing's courtyard. The wheels of the suitcase rolled over scattered phoenix flowers as Han Zǐfei left Yangxi Lane.
...
"Cut." Han Yuping let out a sigh of relief and said, "It's done."
Tang Ruoyao had been shooting the whole day, meticulously refining the details. From morning till afternoon, she had only casually eaten a boxed lunch and was now exhausted, sitting in a chair, taking the water from Xin Qian's hand and drinking a big gulp, resting.
After portraying Han Zǐfei for the entire day, Tang Ruoyao sat with her head down for a long time before gradually coming out of character. She belatedly asked, "Where is Senior Qin?"
Xin Qian said, "After you finished shooting, she went to the dressing room."
Tang Ruoyao hesitated for a moment and continued to ask, "Did she talk to me today?"
Xin Qian shook her head and said, "No. But she came to see you from a distance, she just didn't come over."
Tang Ruoyao nodded slowly.
Xin Qian hesitated for a few seconds and said, "She didn't seem very happy, though."
Tang Ruoyao raised her eyebrows abruptly and asked, "What did you say?"
Xin Qian scratched her head and said, "Maybe I saw it wrong." In her impression, Qin Yinong always had a smile on her face every day, and the people around her were also happy and chattering. Oh, Xin Qian suddenly remembered that the people around her today weren't chattering either.
Why? Xin Qian couldn't figure it out, so she truthfully relayed what she had observed.
Tang Ruoyao frowned and asked, "You're saying she didn't smile at all the whole day?"
Xin Qian replied, "Yes." After pondering with her own meager brain, she had a rare moment of insight and said, "You never looked at her. If I were her, I wouldn't be able to smile either."
Tang Ruoyao explained, "It's because..." Her voice became lower and she tightly pursed her lips. Suddenly, she stood up and walked quickly towards Qin Yinong's dressing room.
Regardless of the reason, she and Qin Yinong were lovers, and it was her fault for neglecting her the whole day.
As she walked halfway, Qin Yinong came out of the dressing room. She had makeup on her face, wearing a light blue cheongsam and embroidered soft-soled cloth shoes, with long black hair flowing gently on her shoulders. She exuded an elegant temperament. Tang Ruoyao was momentarily dazed and stopped in her tracks.
Qin Yinong's scenes were filmed after Tang Ruoyao, so she is currently dressed as Shen Muqing.
Tang Ruoyao froze in place and instinctively lowered her head, avoiding Qin Yinong.
Qin Yinong was stunned for a moment and then forced a bitter smile.
Guan Han worriedly asked, "Qin Jie?"
Qin Yinong said, "I'm fine."
There was a buzzing sound in Guan Han's bag, and she took out Qin Yinong's phone and handed it to her, saying, "There's a message for you."
Qin Yinong unlocked the screen, unsurprised by the notification.
Tang Ruoyao: [Senior Qin, I'm sorry.]
Qin Yinong looked around, searching for Tang Ruoyao's profile among the crowd, typing: [It's okay, I'll call you after I finish shooting.]
[Okay]
After sending this message, Tang Ruoyao didn't reply again. She hurriedly returned to her own dressing room, not daring to look back, afraid of seeing the figure of "Shen Muqing" on the set. Tang Ruoyao sank into the sofa, rubbing her cheeks with her hands, suppressing the uneasiness deep inside her.
There were less than ten days left until the end of the film. Her scenes would be finished earlier, leaving only three more to shoot.
Han Zifei didn't turn her love for Shen Muqing into hatred, instead, she buried that love deep in her heart. She had tried to forget, but couldn't. She would still think of her in her midnight dreams. So she let that love grow, spread, and go mad, merging into her bones and blood, imprinting Shen Muqing's name inch by inch in her soul.
Not long after, she accidentally learned that Shen Muqing wasn't pregnant, and she understood that the words she said by the river that day were a deliberate lie to make herself give up. Han Zifei cried bitterly because she knew that even if Shen Muqing wasn't pregnant, she was the one abandoned on both ends of the scale.
Shen Muqing could never belong to her again.
From then on, she was the only one carrying the memories that belonged to both of them, living in this world.
What made her even sadder was that she had tried so hard to let Shen Muqing have her own life, but she was still stuck in the mire, living a life where the end was always in sight.
She cried her heart out, not for herself, but for Shen Muqing.
Han Zifei's life was about to end in a few days. She would become Tang Ruoyao again and would no longer hurt Qin Yinong's heart.
Tang Ruoyao convinced herself and rehearsed in her mind several times how she would explain to Qin Yinong and assure her. Tang Ruoyao opened the memo app on her phone and added: "Also, apologize. The apology must be sincere."
Qin Yinong brought her dessert, and Tang Ruoyao followed suit, asking Xin Qian to buy it. She herself tried to immerse herself in the emotions belonging to Tang Ruoyao in the dressing room as much as possible, to avoid any mishaps later.
.....
"Scene 50 of 'True Colors,' one take, action!"
Shen Muqing hadn't seen Han Zifei in Yangxi Lane for a long time. One day, she went to Han's house to deliver something and chatted with Han's mother. Han's mother was flipping dried sweet potatoes on a stone slab and unexpectedly said, "She went to another city for an internship. Didn't she tell you?"
Although Han's mother had been unhappy with Han Zifei frequently going to see Shen Muqing before, Shen Muqing was indeed a friendly and good neighbor, and a teacher. She was happy to see Han Zifei having a good relationship with her.
Shen Muqing stood there in a daze, unable to remember what she said to Han's mother next. She hurriedly returned home, her back exuding an indescribable sense of disarray.
Shen Muqing returned to her own home and mechanically cleaned the house. Memories of the two of them were left everywhere in this house—the lively Han Zifei, the gentle Han Zifei, the playful Han Zifei, the reliable and steady Han Zifei.
The one she had pushed away with her own hands, Han Zifei.
Shen Muqing raised her eyes and earnestly looked at every corner of the house, her eyes slowly turning red.
.....
Han Yuping: "Cut."
Qin Yinong blinked, and a teardrop hanging from her eyelashes fell. She wiped it away with a tissue, quickly got out of character, and went to Han Yuping's monitor. "Is it okay?"
Han Yuping: "Let me take a closer look." He glanced at Qin Yinong sideways. "Are you in such a hurry?"
Qin Yinong didn't change her expression. "Yeah, to appease my girlfriend."
Han Yuping had an expression as if his teeth were being dissolved by acid and waved his hand. "Go sit over there."
Qin Yinong didn't move. "I'll wait here."
Han Yuping: "...Suit yourself."
Qin Yinong stared at his mouth. As soon as the word "cut" formed on his lips, she quickly walked towards the dressing room, asking Guan Han to bring her the phone to send a message to Tang Ruoyao.
[We're done shooting, I'll go change clothes. You can come over first, Guan Han will open the door for you.]
She wasn't looking at the road while walking and stepped on a small stone, stumbling. Guan Han quickly reached out and supported her.
"I'm fine." Qin Yinong pulled her arm away from Guan Han's hand and continued walking quickly.
At the entrance of the rest area, she bumped into Tang Ruoyao who was rushing over, saving her the step of knocking on the door. Qin Yinong was afraid that Tang Ruoyao would feel sad seeing her in costume, so she didn't greet her and went straight to the dressing room.
Guan Han poured a glass of water and placed it on the coffee table in front of Tang Ruoyao. "Miss Tang, please."
Tang Ruoyao nodded. "Thank you."
She anxiously glanced towards the dressing room door, with a basket full of words to say.
Guan Han kept her eyes on her nose and her mind on her heart.
Creak—
The dressing room door opened, and both of them looked over at the same time. A striking red figure immediately caught their eyes. She rarely wore a red dress on set lately, focusing on comfortable and casual attire. She must have retrieved it for some reason today.
Not only that, she was wearing high heels, a pair of extravagant earrings, her long hair was styled to the side, and she had applied bright red lipstick. In short, from head to toe, except for her face, there was not a trace that resembled Shen Muqing.
In the small rest area, there was an atmosphere of a grand international award ceremony.
Tang Ruoyao was momentarily stunned, then touched by it.
She walked over and hugged Qin Yinong, who hugged her back.
Guan Han tactfully left and closed the door behind her.
Tang Ruoyao affectionately rubbed her cheek against Qin Yinong's cheek, feeling a slightly cool trace of water. She had just removed her makeup and didn't even have time to dry the water on the cotton pad before coming out. Her feelings of being moved turned into bitterness.
"You don't have to do this." Tang Ruoyao whispered, feeling guilty inside.
"Do what?" Qin Yinong pretended not to understand and deliberately chuckled softly in her ear. "Do I not look good like this?"
In a corner unseen by Tang Ruoyao, a bitter curve appeared at the corner of Qin Yinong's lips.
Or perhaps... do you prefer Shen Muqing? Your love for me is just superficial.
"You look beautiful no matter what." Tang Ruoyao let go of her and pulled her hands, sitting on the sofa facing each other. Tang Ruoyao said, "I neglected you again today, I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Qin Yinong shook her head gently.
"It does matter."
Qin Yinong looked slightly puzzled.
Tang Ruoyao didn't readily accept her gentle accommodation and said seriously, "I like you. It's my fault that I made you feel sad for me. Regardless of the reasons, you have the right to care, the right to be angry, and you can even directly scold me."
Qin Yinong muttered to herself, "You like me?"
Tang Ruoyao didn't hear clearly and asked, "What did you say?"
Qin Yinong pursed her lips and said, "It's nothing." She said, "I won't scold people."
Tang Ruoyao smiled and said, "Neither will I."
Qin Yinong glanced at her and said, "Then if you ask me to scold you, wouldn't it be empty words?"
Tang Ruoyao hesitated and said, "There are a few words I know to scold someone."
"For example?"
"For example, darling, good girl, baby, cutie, little fool, little silly..." Tang Ruoyao listed them seriously.
Qin Yinong smiled.
Tang Ruoyao secretly breathed a sigh of relief and teased her, "Pick one to scold me? Which one do you like?"
Qin Yinong didn't speak, but her mind quietly imagined the tone in which Tang Ruoyao said those words, her heartbeat uncontrollably speeding up. She tightened her hand that was holding Tang Ruoyao's, and Tang Ruoyao understood her implicit meaning, feeling both shy and eager to hear it.
Tang Ruoyao inexplicably became nervous as well. Although she had said those words smoothly to make Qin Yinong happy just now, it was a bit embarrassing to seriously call her by those terms. She opened her mouth several times but couldn't smoothly utter the word "darling."
Tang Ruoyao thought for a moment and came up with a clever solution.
In the movie "True Colors," Han Zifei had once called Shen Muqing "good girl." She had stumbled over that word several times while filming that scene, but she had practiced that word hundreds of times and was very familiar with it.
Tang Ruoyao leaned close to her ear and whispered, "Good girl."
Qin Yinong's fingers tightened abruptly, and her face turned pale.
Author's Note:
Tang (the submissive): I never expected that the biggest obstacle on my journey to pursue my wife would be myself :)
for me .. this is a cliffhanger
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