CHAPTER 22

Guan Han had thought that with that remark, Qin Yinong would easily be distracted and fall into into her trap. Even if Qin Yinong knew she was being intentional, she would still fall for it. Tang Ruoyao was her trump card.

But to her surprise, Qin Yinong shook her head, a rare sight. "Next time."

Guan Han was taken aback.

Qin Yinong leaned back in her seat, with lowered eyelids that concealed her expression as she calmly said, "I've been indulging myself too much lately."

That was the end of the conversation.

Guan Han understood implicitly that Tang Ruoyao's name wouldn't be mentioned in her presence for a while.

No matter how restrained and controlled someone is when they have feelings for someone, they can't help but reveal some clues. Qin Yinong could hide it well in front of Tang Ruoyao, but in front of someone like Guan Han, who was almost always by her side, there was no need for concealment, especially since Guan Han had to handle Tang Ruoyao's matters.

The human heart is made of flesh, and when there is affection, there will also be accompanying pity and reluctance.

Qin Yinong had been in the entertainment industry for many years and had some connections with the principal of the Beijing Drama Academy, Sun. They had even collaborated on a film when Sun was not yet the principal. Since then, Sun had been urging her to attend the graduation ceremonies every year to enlighten those students a taste of the industry, although it was mostly a joke.

Qin Yinong rarely appeared in public except for promoting her new film, let alone attending the graduation ceremony of undergraduate students from a performing arts school. She hadn't even attended university herself, so she had no alumni connections whatsoever.

After their conversation, the principal, Sun, casually mentioned, "Oh, the students at my school are graduating again. Can you come and give a speech?"

Qin Yinong instinctively wanted to refuse, but in her mind, she saw Tang Ruoyao's dim eyes at the Golden Laurel Awards ceremony. She couldn't bring herself to say no.

She remained silent for a moment, chuckled self-deprecatingly, and said, "Alright."

Sun almost dropped his phone and immediately checked if the sun was rising from the west today.

He kept asking for confirmation.

Qin Yinong made a feeble excuse, "I'm planning to make a movie, and I'll personally be the producer. I'll come to your school to find some cheap labor."

The principal's face beamed with joy. "You're more than welcome! Would you mind personally presenting a degree certificate to our outstanding graduate representative?"

Qin Yinong nodded.

Whether it was giving a speech or presenting a degree certificate, it made no difference to her. As for who the graduate representative would be, she hadn't thought about it. She just didn't want to miss the most important moment in Tang Ruoyao's life.

Perhaps her presence would make her a little happier. Lately, Tang Ruoyao didn't seem to be in a good mood.

But Qin Yinong could only do this much—sacrificing the public for personal gain. She couldn't openly admit that she was going to the graduation ceremony for Tang Ruoyao's sake. Even this decision alone was enough to make Qin Yinong anxious and restless. She had invested too much of her heart and mind into Tang Ruoyao, and she needed to calm down her overheated mind in the month leading up to the graduation ceremony. If she continued like this, she might do something regrettable.

When restraint is lost, recklessness follows.

Guan Han's gaze swept across Qin Yinong's face, observing her flickering eyes, slightly pursed lips, and the tightening grip of her fingers on the pillow beside her. Finally, as if making a certain decision, Qin Yinong let out a sigh and turned her gaze towards the window.

Guan Han escorted Qin Yinong home. Little Qin Jianing was still awake and obediently called out, "Aunt Guan."

Guan Han seemed to perform a magic trick as she pulled out two candies from her pocket and handed them to Qin Jianing. With Joy, Qin Jianing was about to unwrap the candies when Qin Yinong cleared her throat nearby. Reluctantly, Qin Jianing handed the candies to Ji Shulan, trying to convince herself as she muttered, "I've brushed my teeth, so I can't eat candy. I'll have them tomorrow."

She covered her mouth and yawned, feeling extremely tired. Ji Shulan took Qin Jianing back to her room to sleep, leaving Qin Yinong and Guan Han alone.

Qin Yinong confirmed with Guan Han if she had any upcoming plans in the next few days. After receiving a negative answer, she let her go.

Qin Yinong tiptoed and gently pushed open Ji Shulan's bedroom door. Qin Jianing was already asleep, but Ji Shulan was still awake.

The night breeze softly wafted through the window as the two figures faced each other in silence.

"Mom, I plan to take Ningning to see sister this Saturday." Qin Yinong sat at the bedside, lightly caressing the child's soft cheek with the back of her finger. After a while, she spoke softly.

Ji Shulan was momentarily stunned, her heart filled with mixed emotions. She whispered, "Okay."

The Qin family was dedicated to Qin Jianing's upbringing, emphasizing equality and respect. Therefore, the next morning, Qin Yinong personally sought Qin Jianing's opinion at the dining table, speaking gently, "On Saturday, we're going to visit Mom's older sister. Is that okay with you?"

Qin Jianing held her bowl and thought about it seriously. In her childish voice, she said, "Okay." Then she turned to Ji Shulan and asked, "Will Grandma go with us?"

Qin Yinong replied, "Grandma won't go."

"But if Grandma is not going.." Qin Jianing muttered, sighed, and said, "Okay then, let's go just the two of us."

Qin Yinong glanced at Ji Shulan from the corner of her eye, and Ji Shulan remained unusually silent.

On Saturday, Qin Yinong bought two bouquets of flowers. The driver took her and Qin Jianing to a place that turned out to be a cemetery in the outskirts of the city.

Located in a suburban area, the cemetery was built on a hill and filled with locust trees. The trees were tall and dense, with lush branches and leaves, creating a picturesque scene. Even at the end of May, it wasn't scorching hot. The breeze that passed through the leaves carried a moist earthy scent.

Qin Yinong's bare arms were brushed by the mountain breeze, causing goosebumps to rise on her skin.

The steps stretched endlessly, and the view was obscured by solemn tombstones on both sides. Qin Jianing walked a short distance on her own and becoming tired and panting heavily. Qin Yinong bent down and lifted her up. Although Qin Jianing was light, being a three-year-old child, her clothes and shoes added up to around thirty pounds. Qin Yinong carried her for a while before setting her down to walk on her own.

Taking their time, one adult and one child walked and rested along the way until they reached halfway up the mountain. From a distance, they could see a familiar tombstone. Qin Yinong stood still for a moment, put down Qin Jianing, rubbed her sore arms, and half squatted down, keeping eye level with her. In a soft voice, she reminded her, "Do you remember what Mom told you?"

Qin Jianing nodded.

The tense corners of Qin Yinong's lips softened slightly, and her encouraging gaze said, "Go ahead."

Standing a few steps away, Qin Jianing glanced back at her before taking a deep breath and stepping forward. She placed the carnation she held in front of the tombstone and looked at the three characters representing her mother's name. Two of those characters matched her own mother's name. In a tender and childish voice, she said softly, "Mama, I've come to see you."

Qin Yinong's eyes instantly became moist, and she quickly tilted her head, hiding her emotions.

Following the plan she had discussed with Qin Yinong earlier, Qin Jianing recounted everything that had happened at kindergarten, mainly talking about how her teacher praised her and how well she got along with her classmates.

The cemetery was cold, surrounded by silent tombstones. Many of them had white flowers placed in front, adding to the somber atmosphere.

Qin Jianing, however, wasn't very afraid.

Since she could remember, she had constantly heard her aunt's name from Qin Yinong's mouth. There were a few well-preserved photos of her aunt in the house, and whenever they had free time, Qin Yinong would hold her and tell her stories about her aunt. Her aunt was a very smart and talented person, and in little Ningning's heart, she was just a little bit less amazing than her own mother.

"The teacher said I will definitely become a useful person in the future." Ningning said with a rhythmic tone, ending her sentence in a typical child-like composition manner. 

Ningning finished speaking, turned her head and looked at Qin Yinong with shining eyes, clearly seeking approval.

Children can't comprehend complex emotions; they are often driven by the desire to fulfill promises made with their loved ones.

Qin Yinong smiled and nodded at her, her eyes still slightly red.

Ningning obediently moved aside, giving Qin Yinong some time alone.

Qin Yinong brought a bouquet of Cattleya orchids, also known as "Birds of Paradise." They were vibrant and colorful flowers, placed next to Ningning's carnations. Qin Yinong pursed her lips and silently stared at the photo with a mixture of emotions.

The features of the woman in the black and white photo were 70% similar to Qin Yinong, but their temperaments were completely different. Qin Yinong was charming and passionate, every expression exuded elegance. On the other hand, Qin Luning appeared poised and gentle, resembling a well-mannered young lady from a noble family.

Qin Yinong's first warm embrace in her memory was not from her mother, Ji Shulan, but from her older sister, Qin Luning. When she was born, Qin Luning was about the same age as Qin Jianing is now. She would always lean by the crib, holding a rattle drum and shaking it to make a playful sound, making Qin Yinong giggle.

Qin Yinong was a disobedient child and not as smart as her sister. When called to eat, she would run away, and Qin Luning would chase after her with a bowl to feed her. After feeding her, Qin Luning would eat her own meal with cold dishes, exhausted and covered in sweat. They didn't have money to send her to kindergarten at that time, so when Qin Luning came home from school, she would do household chores and then teach Qin Yinong to read and write.

With their mother busy making a living and their father having unpredictable moods, Qin Yinong's childhood was filled with the bright and lively presence of her older sister. In that indifferent household, it was because of Qin Luning that she felt a glimmer of warmth and light.

As she grew older and became aware of her surroundings, little Qin Yinong became like a shadow, always following behind her older sister. Qin Luning's classmates knew her and warmly called her "little sister" with their faces full of smiles. But Qin Yinong was a bit shy, hiding behind her sister. Qin Luning would playfully scold her classmates, saying, "Step back a bit, you're scaring her."

The classmates laughed and stuffed Qin Yinong's pockets with snacks as a "peace offering."

Qin Luning excelled academically and skipped grades like a rocket. She was accepted into the top university in the country. Qin Yinong, on the other hand, had average aptitude for studying and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't catch up to her sister's speed. That summer vacation, the postman delivered the acceptance letter from P University, causing a city-wide sensation. The good news was posted on the community bulletin board. The whole family was overjoyed, and even Qin's father, for the first time ever, said that he would grant whatever Qin Luning wanted.

Qin Luning asked for an electronic keyboard because Qin Yinong wanted to learn to play an instrument at that time.

On the night before Qin Luning left for university, Qin Yinong cried into her pillow, soaking it with tears. The next day, she secretly took the money from her piggy bank and bought a train ticket to follow her older sister to the north. It was only after boarding the train that Qin Luning discovered what had happened and couldn't help but laugh and cry at the same time.

Qin Yinong adamantly refused to get off the train, tears streaming down her face. Qin Luning had no choice but to take her to the capital city, make a phone call home to let everyone know they were safe, handle the university affairs, and then take a few days off to bring Qin Yinong back.

Qin Luning comforted her, saying, "Big sister will be waiting for you at P University."

Qin Yinong nodded with red eyes.

Before Qin Yinong even entered high school, Qin Luning had received a full scholarship to study abroad.

At that time, Qin Yinong's reaction was, "..."

Qin Luning was busy with her studies and being in a foreign country alone was already challenging enough. On top of that, she had a boyfriend, so she had even less time to spend on her sister. Qin Yinong felt that she didn't keep her promises and held some resentment towards her. They spoke very little on the phone, but every time Qin Luning returned to China, Qin Yinong would feel awkward for a while before quickly becoming close again, inseparable like two peas in a pod.

Qin Yinong's expression became distant as she recalled these memories.

But no matter how many years passed, she would always remember that day. It was a day she would never forget, even more unforgettable than the sight of Qin Luning lying pale and lifeless in the bathtub.

Three years ago, when Qin Yinong finished her work and returned home, there was a disheveled woman sitting on the sofa in the living room, her belly swollen, clearly pregnant. Ji Shulan was wiping away tears nearby.

Qin Yinong didn't recognize her at first. As she took off her shoes, she couldn't help but wonder, "Who is this person?"

Upon hearing the noise, the weary face slowly lifted, and she called out Qin Yinong's nickname.

Qin Yinong froze like a stone.

Qin Luning, who always presented herself with elegance, was now disheveled, her hair unkempt, her shoulders hunched, shrinking and trembling, no longer displaying her former pride and grace. She had become so thin that her cheeks, once full and round, now appeared sunken. Her eyes were deeply embedded in their sockets, giving off an eerie emptiness.

Only in the gaze directed towards Qin Yinong did a trace of familiar warmth remain.

It felt as though someone had deliver a powerful blow to Qin Yinong's nose, causing her eye sockets to swell with a painful ache. She opened her mouth, and her voice trembled noticeably, "Sister?"

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