Chapter 325: Fu Yujun & Guan Han [22]

Fu Yujun sat up and raised a hand to touch her face, finding it cold and wet with tears.

The heart-wrenching pain from her dream still lingered. She hugged the pillow beside her, bowing her head in the silent depths of the night, continuing to sob quietly.

A few minutes later, she finally emerged from the suffocating heaviness, slowly wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand.

She turned on the small bedside lamp, picked up her dark-screened phone, unlocked it, and opened her WeChat chat with Guan Han. The chat background was a photo of the two of them together—her face resting on Guan Han's shoulder, with the floor-to-ceiling windows of the company in the background.

Guan Han had curved her lips into a faint smile, just as Fu Yujun had asked.

From the night Guan Han had given her a choice until now, the two had been together for three months.

During these three months, Guan Han had been utterly accommodating, granting her every wish without a single argument or harsh word. If Fu Yujun asked for a kiss, Guan Han would kiss her, always with the utmost tenderness. Apart from still refusing to let Fu Yujun into her most private personal space, she was practically the perfect, devoted partner.

Yet Fu Yujun always felt something was missing. Guan Han was good—too good, almost unreal. She was like a machine programmed for romance, playing the role of the enviable girlfriend that most people would admire.

Once, when Guan Han accompanied Fu Yujun to an event and drove her home afterward, Fu Yujun playfully begged her to stay. Guan Han agreed without much hesitation. After her shower, Fu Yujun felt restless. At her age, with a beauty by her side, desire stirred. She hesitated in her room, wondering whether to go to the guest room. They hadn't been together long—what if Guan Han thought she was too eager?

She wanted to leave a better impression on Guan Han. Even though Guan Han had agreed to be with her, wasn't she still in a trial period?

Unexpectedly, Guan Han took the initiative and came to her. Overjoyed, Fu Yujun embraced her, showering her with kisses as they stumbled toward the bed. Their breaths mingled, and the air in the room grew warmer. Captivated by Guan Han's scent, Fu Yujun's consciousness drifted, and she kissed her even more fervently.

But midway, Fu Yujun couldn't continue. Something felt off—or perhaps everything felt wrong. Guan Han held her in return, kissed her back, but Fu Yujun didn't feel the same connection of two souls drawing closer, as she had on their first night. When souls draw near, even a simple embrace can make each other tremble.

When souls drift apart, no matter how physically close they are, only biological instincts remain. That distance reflected back on the body—Fu Yujun hadn't prepared as thoroughly as last time, and her passion burned slowly, like water that could never reach a boiling point no matter how much it heated.

Slowly, Fu Yujun withdrew her hand and opened her eyes to look at the woman beneath her.

Guan Han gazed back, her eyes as calm and unrippled as a still lake.

Fu Yujun pulled her into an embrace, gently patting her back, and said, "Let's sleep."

Guan Han replied, "If there's nothing else, may I sleep in the guest room?"

Fu Yujun's hand on her back paused. "Alright," she said slowly.

That night, they slept in separate rooms.

Fu Yujun looked at the photo in the chat background, her fingertip tracing the curve of Guan Han's lips. Now, it seemed as meticulously calculated as a carefully crafted smile.

The dream was too long, too vivid. Fu Yujun stared at the empty bedroom, terrified that the timeline of reality had already jumped to after their breakup, while the real her remained trapped in memories, unable to move on.

She didn't dare disturb Guan Han in the middle of the night, afraid of displeasing her, so she called Tang Ruoyao instead.

If possible, given her personality, she wouldn't have disturbed someone's sleep so late. But she had no way to prove that the dream wasn't reality.

After ringing for a long time, Tang Ruoyao answered with a groggy, hoarse voice, "Hello?"

Fu Yujun clung to this lifeline, gripping the edge of her phone tightly as she took deep, shaky breaths. She opened her mouth to speak, but tears fell first—silent and overwhelming.

Tang Ruoyao slowly sat up. "Lao Fu?"

Fu Yujun clenched her other hand into a fist, nails digging into her palm, and asked with a slight sob, "Did I ever tell you that Guan Han and I are together?"

Tang Ruoyao said, "Did you two have a fight?"

Fu Yujun sniffled. "No, I just wanted to ask... have we broken up?"

Tang Ruoyao: "..."

Qin Yinong, awakened by the movement beside her, rubbed her bleary eyes. Tang Ruoyao said into the phone, "Hold on a moment," then leaned over to kiss Qin Yinong's forehead. Covering the microphone, she whispered gently, "I need to take a call. It's Fu Yujun."

Qin Yinong closed her eyes again, burying half her face in the warm blankets.

Tang Ruoyao went to the bathroom and softly closed the door.

"What's wrong?" she asked with concern.

"Just answer me first—have we broken up?"

"You never mentioned it," Tang Ruoyao reassured her, then asked, "What's really going on? Did you two have a disagreement?"

"No," Fu Yujun steadied her breathing, her eyes fixed on the ceiling above. She was no longer sobbing, but her voice remained slightly hoarse. "I had a nightmare, dreaming that we..."

Tang Ruoyao chuckled. "You had a nightmare, and instead of calling your wife, you called me? Qin Yinong's jealousy is going to overflow tomorrow."

"She doesn't like being disturbed when she's sleeping," Fu Yujun replied, then immediately felt it was inappropriate and instinctively defended Guan Han, "Well, not exactly. I just thought since she's asleep, I shouldn't bother her."

"So you don't bother her, but you bother me? Am I not human? I never thought you'd be the type to prioritize romance over friendship," Tang Ruoyao teased.

Fu Yujun let out a soft laugh. "It's not that. Guan Han and I just started dating. I don't want her to think I'm too needy."

"But in a relationship, isn't it about being there for each other, even if it's inconvenient?" Tang Ruoyao said without hesitation.

"Being there... even if it's inconvenient?" A faint glimmer of insight flashed through Fu Yujun's mind. She repeated the words softly, then let out a self-mocking laugh.

Tang Ruoyao and Qin Yinong were inseparable. Even when inconvenienced, they saw each other as sweet burdens, willingly embraced.

But her relationship with Guan Han was something she had forced. Guan Han had repeatedly asked her to give up, but she had insisted, stubbornly clinging to this unripe fruit, hoping to warm Guan Han's stone-cold heart.

To Fu Yujun, Guan Han was irreplaceable. But to Guan Han, she was merely dispensable.

How could she possibly trouble her? She didn't dare.

Fu Yujun had thought more than once whether her persistence was a form of selfishness. She wanted Guan Han to stay by her side, like praying for an eagle on the prairie to break its wings and become her personal beloved. If she truly loved her, shouldn't she set her free?

Was it Guan Han she loved, or herself?

She wanted the moon to come to her, but the moon hung high in the heavens, needing nothing, possessing everything, and lacking nothing—not even the embrace of one person.

What meaning did all the efforts she had made over the past three years hold?

Tang Ruoyao: "Fu Yujun? Are you still there?"

Fu Yujun said, "Yes." She wiped the tears from her chin expressionlessly and added, "I want to sleep."

Tang Ruoyao: "I'm going to sleep too. Call me if you need anything."

"Mm."

"Good night."

"Good night."

Fu Yujun opened the curtains and sat on the edge of the bed, gazing into the deep night.

The thick darkness was slowly stripped away, like ink strokes fading with the passage of time, leaving behind a dusty gray that formed the color of dawn.

As day broke and white light emerged, the city became fresh and vibrant.

Sparrows hopped onto branches, chirping cheerfully.

Another summer was approaching.

Guan Han left for the company around eight. At 7:30, Fu Yujun sent her a message: [Good morning.]

Guan Han replied: [Good morning.]

Fu Yujun fell back onto the bed and closed her eyes.

After finishing breakfast and changing her clothes, Guan Han slipped her phone into her pocket and glanced at it. Fu Yujun hadn't sent any more messages.

She didn't dwell on it.

Leaving the house, taking the elevator to the underground garage, driving to the company—it was all part of the routine, unchanged for years.

Her busy life hadn't shifted because she'd gained a lover. Fu Yujun knew her boundaries well, and most of the time, Guan Han found her easy to handle. Occasionally, Fu Yujun would act spoiled, but Guan Han, taking cues from the relationships of Qin Yinong and Tang Ruoyao around her, stuck to her role as a girlfriend and no longer scolded her as she used to.

Guan Han liked to keep everything under control—work, life, emotions—without exception. No one had taught her how to handle this love that hadn't been part of her life plan, so she created a detailed checklist.

It had only two main categories: her boundaries and what a girlfriend should do, clearly defined.

They acted like any ordinary couple—hugging, kissing, sharing a bed—though Fu Yujun had unusually refused the last option. Still, Guan Han followed the plan, playing her part as the girlfriend.

But three months had passed, and Guan Han felt a little lost.

Something seemed to be missing between them.

As agent and artist, they spent a lot of time together at work, especially when traveling for promotions, almost inseparable. Yet Guan Han couldn't feel the "honeym0on phase" people talked about online. Even the affection that had led her to be with Fu Yujun seemed to be fading.

It wasn't like before they were together, when a single glance could make her heart race.

If the gaze lasted too long, she'd even blush and look away.

Why didn't she feel the same way after they got together? Was this what love was like?

She had no one to ask, no way to know.

There was a deeper issue: if love was truly like this, did she still want it? When she had proposed dating three months ago, she had anticipated the possibility of a breakup someday. But now, facing the reality of an impending separation, she realized just how... reluctant she was to let go.

Perhaps she had never imagined that her connection with Fu Yujun would last only a brief three months.

Today, the traffic was jammed, and Guan Han spent half again as much time as usual driving into the underground garage of the company building. With twenty minutes left before work started, she sat in the car for a long time, until her nose began to ache slightly. She let out a heavy sigh, took off her white gloves, and pushed the door open to get out.

That day, Fu Yujun had no schedule, and Guan Han didn't have to go out for any social engagements either. The entire morning passed, and Fu Yujun never came to the office.

This was unusual. Normally, she would cling to Guan Han at every possible moment, seizing any free time Guan Han had—sometimes for a kiss, sometimes for a hug—enjoying Guan Han's boundless indulgence.

After work ended at noon, Guan Han went to the company cafeteria for lunch. The longtime employees, who had been with the company since her days as an assistant, kept their distance, while the newer employees stole glances at her out of the corners of their eyes, not daring to get too close.

Today, Director Guan seemed even more intimidating than yesterday.

Guan Han "monopolized" a table by the window, placing her phone next to her tray. She ate while staring at the screen, almost as if she could burn a hole through it with her gaze.

She swallowed a mouthful of rice without tasting it, picked up her phone, and typed: [Have you eaten?]

Fu Yujun didn't reply.

Guan Han opened her phone's contact list, her fingertip hovering over the name "Fu Yujun" for a few seconds before slowly moving away and withdrawing her hand beneath the table.

At 5 p.m., work ended.

Guan Han went to the garage to get her car and drove skillfully along her usual route home. Her phone rested on the center console. When the light ahead turned red, she stopped at the crosswalk. Summoning her resolve, she picked up the phone without giving herself time to hesitate and dialed Fu Yujun's number.

She pressed the Bluetooth earpiece tightly to her ear, listening to the steady, drawn-out "beep—beep—" on the other end.

Her fingers trembled slightly, though she didn't know what she was afraid of.

"Sorry, the number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later..."

A second time.

"Sorry, the number you have dialed is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later..."

The light turned green.

Guan Han stepped on the accelerator and sped forward, sharply turning the steering wheel at the next intersection to head toward Fu Yujun's home. The black car cut through the twilight like a shadow of lightning.

After they started dating, the first time Guan Han visited Fu Yujun's home, Fu Yujun had registered her fingerprint in the door lock and told her the passcode.

But this was the first time Guan Han had opened the door herself.

The place still felt large and empty, devoid of human presence.

Only the inner layer of sheer curtains was drawn in the living room, and a gentle breeze stirred them softly, allowing the pale golden sunset to filter through.

Guan Han took the pair of pink slippers from the shoe cabinet and stepped lightly onto the wooden floor, heading toward the bedroom.

The bedroom door was open, and the curtains were not drawn. In the center of the large bed, a small mound was visible under the covers.

Guan Han let out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief.

She stood at the doorway for a moment before walking inside. As she approached, she noticed that Fu Yujun's complexion was unusual—flushed with an almost sickly hue. Her breathing was heavy, and her lips were so dry they were peeling.

Guan Han reached out to touch the woman's forehead. It was burning hot.

She furrowed her brow and nudged Fu Yujun's shoulder. "Fu Yujun?"

Fu Yujun's lips moved slightly, but when Guan Han leaned in closer, she still couldn't make out what she was saying.

Guan Han's fingertips brushed against Fu Yujun's dry lips before she hurried out and went straight to the kitchen. The kettle was empty, and it would take too long to boil and cool water. She practically ran to the refrigerator in the dining room, rummaged inside, and pulled out a bottle of mineral water. Pouring it into a cup, she returned to the bedroom.

Guan Han helped Fu Yujun sit up and fed her a few sips of water, then began searching frantically for a thermometer.

Apart from the guest room in Fu Yujun's home, which she was somewhat familiar with, she knew little about the rest of the house. Finally, she found the first-aid kit tucked away in the bottom drawer of the bedroom wardrobe. Wiping the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand, Guan Han thought to herself, Fu Yujun is truly a genius—how did she come up with the idea of hiding the first-aid kit in the wardrobe? Is she afraid of thieves stealing it? Or is this actually a safe?

With a hint of curiosity, Guan Han opened the first-aid kit, only to find it completely ordinary—just a regular first-aid kit.

She pouted in disappointment.

Taking out the thermometer, she checked Fu Yujun's temperature.

39.2°C.

A sudden surge of anger rose within Guan Han. If I hadn't come, would Fu Yujun have just let the fever rage on? Is she not afraid of turning herself into a fool? And if she really did become a fool, who would want to be with her?

She's a grown adult, yet she's so irresponsible!

"Fu Yujun!" Guan Han grabbed her shoulders and shook the sleeping, feverish woman awake.

Fu Yujun's eyes were dazed.

Just as Guan Han's lips began to curl into a cold smirk, it vanished before it could fully form, caught off guard by the woman's silent, overwhelming tears.

Guan Han: "..."

The grip on the woman's shoulders loosened, and she withdrew her hands as if shocked.

"I wasn't trying to scold you." Guan Han raised her hands, weakly defending herself.

Suddenly, Fu Yujun wrapped her arms around Guan Han, letting out a muffled sob from her throat.

Guan Han's raised hands slowly lowered, landing on Fu Yujun's back, gently patting her.

Fu Yujun's crying was brief—maybe five seconds, or ten—before she calmed down, slowly pulling away from Guan Han's embrace. In a tone as gentle as usual, she asked, "Why did you come so suddenly?"

Guan Han felt a heaviness in her chest but couldn't pinpoint the source. She pulled two tissues from the bedside table and wiped the tears from Fu Yujun's face, replying flatly, "You weren't replying to my messages or answering my calls, so I came to check on you."

In her list of "Rules for Lovers," it stated: When your girlfriend is crying, offer a hug and comforting words.

But right now, Guan Han was extremely, particularly, and utterly displeased with Fu Yujun's lukewarm attitude, so she deliberately put on a stern face.

Misinterpreting Guan Han's expression, Fu Yujun thought she had caused trouble and upset her. A dull ache spread in her chest as she forced herself to say, "I'm sorry, I fell asleep and didn't hear. I'm fine now. If you have something important to do, you can go home."

"You want me to leave?" Guan Han retorted, her anger flaring.

Realizing she had lost her composure but unable to swallow her pride, she lowered her voice and said, "Fine, I'll go. Take the fever reducer yourself."

Frowning, she picked up the blazer she had tossed on the bed and turned to leave.

Suddenly, her wrist was gripped tightly.

She looked down and saw Fu Yujun's fingers wrapped around her wrist.

"What?" she asked, lifting her gaze, her expression cold.

Fu Yujun looked at her, a spark of delight shining in her eyes. "Are you angry?" Guan Han lowered her gaze again and replied indifferently, "No."

Fu Yujun tightened her grip, unwilling to let her leave, and pressed on, "Is it because I told you to go back?"

Guan Han didn't answer, turning her head to look out the window, her chest rising and falling softly.

The light in Fu Yujun's eyes grew brighter.

She drew Guan Han's hand closer, gently rubbing her cheek against the back of it, and said, "I like it when you're angry with me."

Guan Han froze, turning back to look at her.

Fu Yujun's eyes shimmered with unshed tears as she lowered her head, trying to hide her emotions, and changed the subject. "You called me." She picked up her phone from the pillow, unlocked it, and checked the missed calls. Sighing, she said, "Five calls, and I didn't hear any of them."

She then opened WeChat and said, "Ah, you even sent me a message, asking what I wanted to eat. Usually, I'm the one asking you. You actually took the initiative to ask me."

The words on the screen gradually blurred as a hazy mist clouded her vision.

Fu Yujun fought back the tears, refusing to let them fall.

She traced Guan Han's two chat messages with her fingertip, realizing how easily her wishes could be fulfilled.

Guan Han sat down on the edge of the bed and reached out to cup Fu Yujun's face.

Fu Yujun forced her eyes wide open, smiling through her tears.

Guan Han's chest felt tight. Her expression remained blank, and her voice betrayed no emotion as she said, "If you don't feel like smiling, don't force it."

Fu Yujun replied, "It's nothing." A tear fell, and she quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand, continuing to smile at her.

Guan Han simply watched her intently.

The corners of Fu Yujun's lips, which had been slightly upturned, seemed to be weighed down by a heavy stone, gradually flattening. She struggled to lift them again, only for them to fall once more. Her eyes filled with tears, more and more, until the rims of her eyes turned red.

Finally, the tears burst forth like a breached dam.

Guan Han immediately reached out, pressing Fu Yujun's eyes against her shoulder. Warm liquid quickly soaked through half of her clothes.

Fu Yujun leaned into her shoulder and sobbed openly.

She cried for a long, long time, while Guan Han's other hand gently patted her back, tirelessly and without pause.

From loud sobs to silent sniffles, Fu Yujun eventually curled into Guan Han's embrace, her ear pressed against the other's chest, listening to the steady, powerful rhythm of her heartbeat.

Tears were a weapon, but also one of the best ways for a woman to release her emotions.

After her outburst, the dark clouds and pent-up frustration in Fu Yujun's heart eased considerably, and even her breathing felt smoother. The part of Guan Han's shirt where her cheek had rested was completely soaked, as if it had just been pulled out of water.

Leaning against Guan Han's shoulder, she slowly sat up and whispered, "Do you want to take a shower?"

Guan Han replied, "No need."

She didn't look too well, so Fu Yujun asked, "Then... are you going home?"

Guan Han closed her eyes and let out a long sigh.

Without needing any further cues, Fu Yujun knew she was angry again and quickly corrected herself, "I'm sorry."

Guan Han shot her a sidelong glance.

Fu Yujun asked, "What do you want to do, then?"

Guan Han said, "Take your temperature."

The corners of Fu Yujun's lips involuntarily twitched upward. She obediently lay down and said, "Okay, go ahead."

Guan Han frowned. "Why are you lying down?"

Fu Yujun: "..."

Guan Han handed her the ear thermometer and said, "Do it yourself."

Fu Yujun: "..."

She obediently took her temperature, glanced at the reading, and reported, "38.5°C."

"Feeling dizzy? Any nausea?" Guan Han spoke with an indifferent tone, yet her words carried concern.

"Neither," Fu Yujun replied. The moment she saw Guan Han, all her ailments seemed to vanish, and she felt well enough to get up and dance a little swan piece.

"Since you're fine, I'll head back now." Guan Han said, walking toward the door.

Fu Yujun quickly got up and followed. Guan Han paused slightly, glancing at her out of the corner of her eye, and only continued walking once she saw Fu Yujun steady on her feet.

Fu Yujun called out, "Wait."

Guan Han acted as if she hadn't heard, walking faster and faster.

Fu Yujun jogged after her and found that Guan Han wasn't at the entrance. She looked around and spotted Guan Han in the kitchen.

Leaning against the doorway, Fu Yujun asked, "What are you doing?"

Guan Han lifted the hot water kettle in her hand and said lazily, "I'm boiling some water for you. Once it's done, I'll leave."

"Can't you stay?"

Guan Han didn't respond, continuing with her tasks unhurriedly.

She felt she was being a bit petty, still holding onto her anger after all this time. Whether it was written in the "Lover's Handbook" or stipulated by her agent's requirements, she was supposed to treat her with the warmth of spring and care for her like a little baby.

Why get angry with a baby?

But Guan Han was furious—furious that she had been burning up with fever at home, unconscious and unresponsive to calls or messages; furious that her first reaction upon waking was to ask her to leave, furious that she cried, and even more furious that the one who made her cry like that was herself.

In short, she was angry and had absolutely no intention of suppressing her rage.

Fu Yujun looked at her, and suddenly her eyes softened as she said weakly, "I... feel dizzy."

Guan Han didn't even glance at her. "Didn't you just say you weren't dizzy?"

"I got dizzy after walking a couple of steps." Fu Yujun watched her expression carefully, feigning pitifulness.

"Go back and lie down."

"I'll go lie down if you don't leave."

"Then stay dizzy."

"..."

Guan Han pressed the power button of the kettle and walked over, locking eyes with her.

Fu Yujun put on just the right amount of fragility, looking utterly pitiable.

Guan Han gritted her teeth.

Even though she knew it was an act, she couldn't help but feel a pang of concern, afraid that there was even the slightest chance it might be real.

Fu Yujun tugged at her sleeve. "Are you still leaving?"

Guan Han glared at her and said, "Go back to your room first."

"Stay with me." Fu Yujun pressed further.

Guan Han took a couple of deep breaths, deciding not to argue with a sick person, but she couldn't swallow her anger. Her gaze deepened as she looked at Fu Yujun.

Before Fu Yujun could react, she was suddenly lifted into the air, her heart skipping a beat. She let out a startled cry and instinctively wrapped her arms tightly around Guan Han's neck.

Guan Han carried her back to the room at a sprinting pace, as if she were carrying a weighty stone during her childhood training sessions.

There was no romance in it—Fu Yujun felt like she had been on a roller coaster ride, nearly scared out of her wits. Once back in bed, her heart still racing, she looked at Guan Han, whose eyes held a hint of smugness, and found herself speechless.

What kind of childish person was this? Was this even the Guan Han she knew?

Then she laughed.

Her eyes curved into crescents, revealing her pearly white teeth as she laughed heartily.

Guan Han thought she was insane for laughing after such a scare, but it didn't stop her own mood from lifting. Suppressing a smile, she tucked Fu Yujun's blanket securely and urged, "Go to sleep."

Fu Yujun protested softly, "I've been sleeping all day."

Guan Han felt her forehead and said firmly, "No, your fever hasn't broken yet. Keep sleeping."

Fu Yujun said, "Alright," and closed her eyes.

"One more thing," Fu Yujun suddenly opened her eyes but found herself lost in Guan Han's deep, affectionate gaze, forgetting what she was going to say.

So this was how she looked at her?

Guan Han seemed unaware herself and asked gently, "What is it?"

Fu Yujun smiled and said, "You won't leave, will you?"

Guan Han replied, "I won't."

Fu Yujun held her hand tightly, a smile lingering on her lips, and closed her eyes to sleep peacefully.

Author's Note: 

Honestly, when I write, I only have a general outline. All the choices and reactions are made by the characters themselves—I'm just here to record them. So, today is another day where Fu Guan is trying really hard to be with the other person!

These two have plenty of problems, but there are always more solutions than difficulties. No matter how far apart they are, as long as they're moving toward each other, there's nothing to fear.

BACK | TABLE OF CONTENTS | NEXT