CHAPTER 20

By the time the cold winter month of December arrived, Xiang Xiaoyuan's third web drama went online.

In the living room, Cai Juan was preparing the food, deciding to have hot pot tonight.

It was a yin-yang hot pot—half tomato broth and half spicy beef oil, bubbling vigorously.

Xiang Xiaoyuan was setting the tableware. Due to her character's requirements, she had shaved her hair into an extremely short men's cut, which had now grown a bit. She was wearing a black turtleneck sweater, looking more handsome and elegant than before.

Xiang Zhishi, who was setting up the projector, glanced at her with a smile. "Haven't the previous two films been released yet?"

"That 'Teddy Bear' one went online two months ago," Xiang Xiaoyuan replied quietly.

Cai Juan pursed her lips but didn't say anything.

In fact, the movie was titled 'Hey! My Brother, My Bear,' and the awkwardness and embarrassment of that name made it hard to say. Even if it was released, her true face was never shown, even the gods wouldn't know she was in it.

Xiang Xiaoyuan had suffered a lot for this role and made many sacrifices, but it was evident that there wouldn't be any significant returns.

He didn't respond, recalling "Choice," where He Chenying won Best Actress at the College Film Festival, and Zou Yirui won Best Newcomer. They were likely to achieve even greater success in next year's major awards.

Although Zou Yirui's acting wasn't that great, the movie had good box office numbers and a good reputation. She suddenly jumped to the forefront of young actresses and even got her first luxury brand endorsement.

Cai Juan glanced at the Chinese Vogue magazine on the sofa, with He Chenying on the cover. Vogue represented top fashion and top commercial magazines, with only top-tier celebrities gracing the cover. Actors rarely made it to the cover, yet He Chenying was featured this New Year, indicating that "Tonghua" was filling in this gap in her commercial operations and had already started public relations.

Everyone in the core team of "Choice" benefited, except Xiang Xiaoyuan...

It was ironic that she had bought that magazine herself, she must have felt quite upset about it, right?

What a pity, such a shame!

He was feeling indignant in his heart when Xiang Zhishi passed by him and casually patted his shoulder, causing Cai Juan to gather his thoughts.

The three of them sat down and started cooking the fatty beef.

The movie started playing on the screen.

"Can you tell me again what character you played in it?"

Xiang Xiaoyuan bit into a piece of beef in her mouth, her lips pursed. "Mmm, sizzling, hot, delicious!"

Cai Juan pushed the orange juice toward her, "The screenwriter was quite bold, the main character is actually a transgender person."

Xiang Zhishi used the public chopsticks to cook a few more slices of fatty beef and placed them in her bowl. "Oh?"

"Yeah, originally it was a woman who transitioned into a man." Xiang Xiaoyuan pointed to her hair.

"That sounds quite interesting."

"The script is average, the character development is interesting, it's a pity." Xiaoyuan ate another slice of fatty beef and took a sip of ice orange juice.

"Brother Zhishi, this is a romance movie." Cai Juan suddenly chuckled, "In this, Xiaoyuan has to fall in love with a girl."

"Actually, it's the male character dating a woman." Xiang Xiaoyuan corrected.

"I remember you haven't really done any romance scenes before..." Xiang Zhishi reminisced.

"I have! That movie 'Their Little Affairs'  is one. I was supposed to date that male model, right?" Xiaoyuan said while picking up a slice of luncheon meat, shrugging. "Even though it was all cut out in the end..."

Lu Jingnian had sent a lot of complaints about Wang Ji in their WeChat chat, but Xiaoyuan had already calmed down, treating it like a joke.

The room fell silent for several seconds.

"However, I didn't perform well in 'Their Little Affairs'. I know my own capabilities, and I really don't feel comfortable acting in romance scenes."

"I remember when I was in school, a senior from the directing department told me I was missing something when I acted in romantic scenes."

"What was missing?" the other two looked at her.

"Well..." Xiaoyuan propped her chin, recalling, "She said that I lacked the spark and passion with my love interest, it wasn't convincing that I truly loved him."

Every year, Huaxi had stage performances, and each grade had to put on a show. One year, they performed 'The Rhino Who Wants to Fall in Love,' and she remembered that senior saying this to her.

"I was too arrogant at that time, I didn't take her words to heart at all."

"I'm not a professional, but I didn't understand 'The Rhino Who Wants to Fall in Love' either. Besides, the way of performing in theater might be different from film and television." Cai Juan said.

"It's just a different way of presenting. The only task for an actor is to convince the audience of your performance and make them empathize." Xiang Zhishi said.

"I shot Director He's 'Xiao Wen' in my junior year, didn't even stay at school the whole semester, and in my senior year, I went to the Cannes Film Festival in France. I was too arrogant back then, didn't even consider the words of my still-in-school senior."

Xiang Xiaoyuan spoke calmly and rationally, surprising the other two men, especially Cai Juan, whose mouth was agape, forgetting to pick up the meat.

"I used to think that after graduation, I wouldn't have to worry about not having roles to play, that I'd be famous in no time. Hahaha... and now?" She laughed at herself and pointed at the movie on the screen.

The movie playing on the screen was called 'I Love You!'. The writer had a good idea, wanting to express that love is just love, not limited by gender or age. However, they chose marginal characters, and to be honest, the story was mediocre, and the director's ability was also mediocre.

After twenty minutes of the movie, it was unremarkable. Xiaoyuan's character hadn't appeared yet, and they weren't paying much attention while chatting.

Steam rose from the hotpot on the table, the aroma of food filling the air, and the three remained silent for a while.

Young people make mistakes, especially those who start off well. They tend to be proud, which is understandable. It's just that their own little sister, who is usually spoiled and indulged, is suddenly so sensible, lowering her posture to take on roles, adjusting her attitude, reflecting on her experiences, and even making fun of herself.

It was both comforting and heart-wrenching.

This was the right approach, it was a good thing. This was how to survive in the entertainment industry and continue a career in acting. Still, as an older brother, his feelings were particularly complex.

Xiang Zhishi didn't eat much, continuing to add food to the pot with the public chopsticks. Cai Juan took off his glasses, using a corner of his sweater to wipe the lenses.

Xiang Xiaoyuan took a sip of orange juice, glanced at the two of them, and suddenly laughed, "Hey, I'm fine! You guys don't need to look so serious."

"I haven't finished yet."

"Please continue," Cai Juan put his glasses back on.

"So, that's why you took on this role in 'I Love You!'?" Xiang Zhishi asked.

"Yeah, mainly because the character is interesting, and since I'm not good at playing romantic scenes, I can't avoid it. I need to act more to improve." she replied.

"I think you might as well go date someone, you might gain more insights." Cai Juan interjected. "After all, acting is related to life experience. If you've never been in love, how can you portray romance?"

"Hm, I've dated before. It didn't help, though." Xiaoyuan said nonchalantly.

"What? When?" Cai Juan was surprised, looking at Xiang Zhishi. "Brother Zhishi, did you know this?"

Xiang Zhishi chuckled, "...I only found out later."

"Of course you didn't know! I dated during my senior year, but it lasted less than three months." Xiang Xiaoyuan said nonchalantly.

"Why?"

"Just because. I didn't feel anything."

"If you didn't feel anything, how could you be together?"

"Mmm..." Xiaoyuan tilted her head, trying hard to remember. "It's been so long, how would I remember? He was quite pleasant to look at, not annoying, kept clean, and smelled nice."

"...Okay then." Cai Juan relented, thinking that good looks must have been a factor.

Xiang Zhishi listened to their back-and-forth without interrupting.

Then Cai Juan's gossip instinct kicked in. "Do you have a photo? Let me take a look!"

"None." Xiaoyuan shot him a glance. "We didn't take any pictures together, and I don't have any of his photos or contact info."

"...Are you sure you were dating?" Cai Juan looked at her as if he really didn't understand young people.

"...Anyway... it was just that. Nothing much to say." Xiang Xiaoyuan shrugged.

At that time, she really thought that was what dating was like. The guy looked good, had a nice personality, and she remembered he studied photography, which made him easy to get along with.

They didn't have that kind of dramatic feeling where they couldn't bear to be apart for a moment, like Wei Jiabao and Zou Yirui, who could go from deeply in love one moment to hating each other the next.

It was just unusually dull, as plain as water, leaving no trace after passing.

"It's your turn now, right?" Xiang Zhishi suddenly said.

"Oh oh, let's see!" Cai Juan replied eagerly.

Xiaoyuan bit her chopsticks lightly, feeling a bit embarrassed.

In a suit and white shirt, with shiny black shoes and a slick hairstyle, one ear adorned with a diamond stud, she looked stunning.

Even Xiang Zhishi and Cai Juan, who were so familiar with Xiaoyuan, were taken aback by how impressive she looked.

The director also knew that this look suited her well, giving her a 360-degree close-up shot and constantly rotating the camera, which seemed a bit excessive...

"This suit?" Xiang Zhishi was a bit doubtful.

"Uh, it's yours, big brother. I had it altered to fit me." Xiaoyuan scratched her face, feeling helpless as the costumes provided by the crew were too shabby.

"And the diamond earring?" Cai Juan asked.

"It's probably fake, you can get one for a few bucks on Taobao." Xiaoyuan guessed.

"And the leather shoes, are they mine too? You can't fit into them, right?" Xiang Zhishi still had doubts.

"Mm, I stuffed them with a lot of paper." Xiaoyuan said, sticking out her tongue a bit.

.......

This production team was quite poor, and now that it was Xiaoyuan's turn, they began to watch seriously.

Romantic movies pay more attention to atmosphere than other types of films, and dialogue is also very important.

This movie, well, for someone like Xiaoyuan who has never experienced sweet love, the atmosphere feels strangely awkward, and the dialogue is very melodramatic.

"Why don't you like me? Is it because I used to be a woman? But I admire you, I cherish you. Without you, I will die, I cannot live, do you want me to die? Do you really want me to die?"

......

This is just... too cringeworthy.

Xiaoyuan wanted to cover her eyes with her hands, unable to watch any longer, but she glanced at the both of them from the corner of her eye.

Xiang Zhishi looked very serious, and Cai Juan couldn't take his eyes off the scene, she turned her eyes back to the screen.

"Then I might as well die! What's the point of living? I can't be with the one I love. I went through surgery for you... and now you don't want me anymore? I might as well just die!" Then she pretended to jump off a building, while the female lead cried and tried to stop "her," resulting in a flurry of chaos.

Xiaoyuan felt extremely embarrassed, couldn't help but reach for the remote control.

"Ahem, ahem," Xiang Zhishi pressed his fist against his lips and lightly coughed twice.

Cai Juan bit his lip, holding back laughter, and his round face turned red from the effort.

Xiang Xiaoyuan sighed and pressed pause. "Alright, stop holding it in. If you want to laugh, just laugh."

Cai Juan immediately burst into laughter, holding his stomach, while Xiang Zhishi turned to the side, also chuckling softly.

"I'm not exaggerating, the lines are written like this. I had no authority to change them." she said helplessly. "It's clear that the screenwriter is a devoted fan of Qiong Yao."  [Qiong Yao is a popular Taiwanese romance novelist and screenwriter known for her melodramatic romance novels and television dramas. Her works often feature tragic love stories, intricate relationships, and dramatic plot twists.]

"I've never seen you act so hard before..." Xiang Zhishi laughed until his throat felt itchy, coughed lightly a few times.

Xiaoyuan was acting with all her might, her voice hoarse, and her long neck strained, making her features look almost twisted.

"I didn't want to act like this either. Before this version, I must have done ten or twenty takes, all of which the director rejected." she said, feeling even more helpless, glancing at Cai Juan. "...I even asked Cai Juan for advice before acting."

"Oh? What advice did you take?" Xiang Zhishi asked, curiously turning to Cai Juan.

Cai Juan suddenly felt embarrassed, "It's nothing," he added more to the hotpot, trying to change the subject, "Hurry up and eat, hurry up, the food is getting cold!"

"I asked him what it feels like to have a crush," Xiang Xiaoyuan chuckled. "It's like I've never eaten pork, I've only seen pigs run away, so I wanted to ask those who have eaten it what it tastes like."

"Oh, what did Cai Juan say?"

"He said that in front of someone you like, you might feel a heartache." Xiaoyuan recounted. "I still can't understand that sentence, which is why I've remembered it all this time."

Cai Juan filled his bowl to the brim and buried his head in food, not responding, his cheeks flushing bright red.

Xiang Zhishi paused for a moment, not replying right away.

Cai Juan stuffed his mouth full, chewing and swallowing, and sneaked a quick glance at Xiang Zhi Shi while reaching for some water.

Xiang Zhishi seemed to be deep in thought, his pale, slender cheeks softened by the warm light in the room. He blinked, and the corners of his lips curled into a gentle smile as he looked at Cai Juan. "I also agree with that statement."

Cai Juan felt a tremor in his heart, dared not look more, and could only continue eating with his head down.

Xiang Xiaoyuan was completely oblivious to the situation. She sighed and shot a playful glare at the two of them. "I don't know what you're talking about, forget it."

Even a top student like her can have a day when she fails an exam, it was really frustrating.

Xiang Zhishi took the remote control, "Let's continue watching."

"Hey, hey, hey, brother, brother, forget it, forget it..." This was like a public execution, Xiaoyuan hurried to grab the remote, "It's too embarrassing."

"You didn't feel embarrassed when you were acting!" Cai Juan raised his head, "No, we have to watch this, and we'll keep replaying it!"

Xiang Xiaoyuan gasped, "That's too harsh!"

"Well, who told you to take this role?" Xiang Zhishi laughed.

"I was just curious! I thought that if I acted in more films, I might experience what love feels like. hm, like heartache!" Xiaoyuan made a grimace at Cai Juan.

"I'm telling you, it's useless. You might as well go date someone!" Cai Juan shot back, annoyed.

"Hahaha, you should tell me who makes your heart ache!" Xiaoyuan lunged over to hug his neck, her eyes sparkling. "By the way, Cai Juan, are you a 0 or a 1?" [In the context of LGBTQ+ discussions, "0" and "1" often refer to roles in a s3xual relationship, particularly within gay relationships. "0" typically represents a receptive or bottom role. "1" generally denotes an active or top role.]

Cai Juan froze, blood rushing to his face. "...Where did you even learn those terms?"

"Oh, I was going to play a transgender person, so I looked into everything related to LGBT, hey, don't change the subject."

"Wait, Cai Juan, are you blushing? Hahaha."

"I'm not, hey, you're choking me. Get off, get off..."

"Hahaha, your blushing face..."

Xiang Zhishi watched them playfully from the side, a gentle smile on his face.

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