CHAPTER 81

The person in front of her seemed surprised by her words, and their fingertips that had been caressing her lips paused for a moment.

Ye Chengxing caught a faint scent of white peaches.

In her daze, she thought that this distance seemed suitable for a kiss.

But the next second, Li Jia withdrew her hand and sat upright.

Li Jia slowly repeated her words, "You came back to see me?"

After repeating it, her voice became faint, "I'm doing well now, so just go back after seeing me."

"You are free to leave, aren't you?"

In fact, Li Jia wasn't sure if Ye Chengxing could leave whenever she wanted, so she deliberately brought it up. After saying that, Li Jia observed her without changing her expression.

She knew this person in front of her too well, especially her subconscious micro expressions. Therefore, she instantly concluded that she could freely leave this world.

Realizing this, the tension that had built up within her due to Ye Chengxing's words eased slightly.

As Ye Chengxing listened to Li Jia's voice, she recalled the silhouette of her standing at the doorway earlier, feeling hesitant.

She actually wanted to ask, "Are you really doing well?"

If you're truly doing well, then why do you look so... heartbreaking and sad?

Ye Chengxing remained silent, and Li Jia didn't speak again either.

After she finished that sentence, she averted her gaze. Even though her gaze had shifted, she couldn't restrain herself from stealing glances in Ye Chengxing's direction.

Shortly after, she noticed Ye Chengxing standing up.

While Li Jia cast her sidelong glances, Ye Chengxing also noticed that Li Jia had turned her gaze away.

The person who had kept her gaze fixed on her since they met suddenly averted her gaze.

Ye Chengxing thought that Li Jia clearly didn't want her to leave, so why was she pushing her away?

It seemed... like she was afraid of something?

Indeed, a lot had happened five years ago. She needed to remember as soon as possible.

Li Jia shifted her gaze away, and Ye Chengxing walked directly into her line of sight.

"What you said made a lot of sense."

Upon hearing Ye Chengxing's words, Li Jia made a low "mm" sound.

Although it was her own decision to push the person away, her fingertips couldn't help but tighten in her palm.

Ye Chengxing looked at her, clearly noticing her extreme concern while trying to appear nonchalant. She thought to herself, 'You're quite awkward, aren't you?'

"But I don't really want to leave. What should I do?" She moved closer to Li Jia.

Before Li Jia could speak again, Ye Chengxing looked around and said, "I want to stay here for a while. Is that okay?"

"After all, the fact that I'm missing a segment of memory has been troubling me a bit," she said, raising her eyes and smiling at her. At the same time, she gently held Li Jia's hand, gradually separating her fingertips that were tightly gripping her palm. "Maybe staying here for a while will help me remember."

Li Jia glanced at her and looked down at Ye Chengxing's hand that separated her fingertips.

As if she had been burned, she quickly withdrew her hand, saying, "If you want to stay... then stay."

Ye Chengxing observed her reaction and found it really strange. She seemed to have an exaggerated response, the more she looked closely, the more she could sense the fear hidden beneath the surface. It couldn't even be described as mere fear anymore.

What was she afraid of?

Ye Chengxing truly wanted to remember the forgotten memory as soon as possible. The conversation she had just had with Li Jia wasn't entirely an excuse. After all, she could feel that the deliberately forgotten memories had started to loosen since she entered and saw everything here.

Maybe staying here for some time would really help her remember.

"Can I choose any room?" Ye Chengxing looked at Li Jia and continued, "Then I'll choose for myself."

As she spoke, Ye Chengxing walked up the stairs to the second floor.

There were actually quite a few rooms here, even on the first floor, but after she finished speaking, she subconsciously walked up to the second floor. By the time she realized it, she was already standing in front of a room on the second floor.

Ye Chengxing blinked, although she didn't know what the room looked like, she had already decided it would be this one.

"This room will do."

She opened the door, took a quick glance inside, and then turned her gaze back to Li Jia.

Li Jia looked at the room she chose for a while without saying a word, and finally responding with a simple "Mm."

The air fell silent for a few seconds, and she suddenly opened the room next to Ye Chengxing's. "I'll also stay here tonight."

Upon hearing her words, Ye Chengxing glanced at the room she opened and lowered her gaze. "Okay, it's getting late. You should rest early too. Good night."

After hearing her bid her good night, Li Jia hesitated for a moment. "...Good night."

She finished speaking and prepared to enter her room.

At this moment, Ye Chengxing spoke up again, "Li Jia, what are you afraid of?"

However, as her voice fell, the other person had already entered and closed the door.

Ye Chengxing looked at the closed door and thought that maybe she didn't hear it.

If she didn't hear it, then let it be. She would eventually find out.

Just like how there were so many rooms here, but she opened the door to the room next to hers.

Ye Chengxing withdrew her gaze and also entered her room, closing the door.

.......

Li Jia actually heard Ye Chengxing's question.

She asked what she was afraid of.

She was indeed afraid.

But how could she tell her—

She was afraid of herself.

She was afraid of her own extreme possessiveness.

She couldn't love someone normally no matter how much she tried or wanted to.

Right now, at best, she was only pretending to be normal. The real her had been on the verge of madness ever since she confirmed Ye Chengxing's return.

She wanted to hold her, kiss her, make love to her.

She wanted her to keep looking at her, not to leave, and to hear her say she loved her.

But the methods she could think of now were no different from five years ago.

Other people's love was complete, but her love remained broken and abnormal, only causing exhaustion and trouble.

Love doesn't fade with time, it only becomes crazier with Ye Chengxing's departure.

To the point that the enduring emotions instantly broke free at the moment she saw her.

Before she lost control any further, all she could do was push her away.

Li Jia thought of this and raised her hand, unable to resist putting her fingertips in her mouth.

In her mind, she recalled the feeling of Ye Chengxing gradually separating her fingertips.

Her fingertips touched her fingertips, warm like that.

But unfortunately, such a brief touch couldn't capture any scent that belonged to her.

Li Jia had never been gentle with herself.

After a few repetitions of touching her fingertips, a hint of redness appeared at the corner of her eyes.

She withdrew her damp fingertips.

While comforting herself with her hand, she couldn't help but wonder what Ye Chengxing was doing now.

Was she resting? Or thinking about something?

The realization that "Ye Chengxing is right next to her" not only didn't bring her any relief, but made her feel even more distressed.

No matter how she tried to alleviate it, she couldn't find any solace. She couldn't help but bite her lip.

Thoughts surged in her mind on this silent night.

She let her go, and Ye Chengxing came back on her own.

She came back willingly.

So...

Li Jia's bite on her lip became involuntarily stronger, until she tasted a hint of bloody flavor and barely snapped back to reality.

No.

She couldn't continue like this.

She sat up, mentally and physically struggling to the extreme.

After all the effort, not only did things not improve, but they became even more unbearable.

Li Jia opened the door. Despite the good soundproofing in this room, she made every movement and sound as soft as possible.

She stared at the closed door next door for a moment, then climbed the stairs to the third floor and entered a room she had kept locked.

She remembered the placement of every single item in this room with great clarity.

Li Jia opened a drawer and took out a pale pink soothing toy that was inside.

It was a small, round object.

In the beginning, it still retained a trace of the scent she had yearned for day and night.

But with the passage of time, that scent dissipated as well.

Li Jia's fingertips trembled as she quickly went through the process of disinfection, then her other hand reached down and separated some strands.

The scattered long hair swayed with the movement, forming a slight arc in the air. As she pressed the control button, she bit her lip and held onto the table.

She had reached the point.

Yet that feeling of dissatisfaction only grew stronger.

The alluring petals of her lips were dyed more vibrant by the beads of blood that seeped out. The fingertips supporting the table turned slightly white from exerting too much force.

Her faltering reason told her she couldn't treat Ye Chengxing like this anymore.

But... it shouldn't matter if she got a little closer to her without disturbing her, right?

With this thought in mind, Li Jia stood up and left the room, making sure to lock it again upon leaving.

She couldn't restrain herself any longer.

The corridor was quiet and silent. She descended to the third floor and returned to the second floor.

Ye Chengxing's room remained just as quiet, with the door closed, as it was before she went upstairs.

Li Jia stood by Ye Changxing's door.

It was getting late indeed. Ye Chengxing should be asleep by now, right?

Although she still couldn't see her, just being outside her door, rather than being in separate rooms, made Li Jia feel slightly better.

Each room had its own separate restroom and bathroom, and according to their previous habits, Ye Chengxing generally wouldn't come out at night.

Li Jia wouldn't knock on her door or make any other sounds, she would just wait outside her door for a while.

She would return when it was dawn.

With these thoughts in mind, Li Jia moved closer to the door.

The presence she held was also very silent, and Ye Chengxing wouldn't know about any of this.

She really missed her.

The lively her, the her that smiles.

Recalling her every movement in her mind, Li Jia's body seemed to become even more excited.

Unable to resist, Li Jia reached out and unbuttoned her shirt. She had just been near the door before, but now she found herself leaning against it unconsciously.

However, she had to be cautious of the person inside the room, so she couldn't make any sound or even move too much.

She bit down on her own clothes, her fingertips grazing in front of her.

But something was missing, to the point where she didn't feel any relief at all.

Only a growing sense of dissatisfaction.

Why was it still not enough...

Her gaze was on the verge of becoming teary.

But unexpectedly, at that moment, the door behind her was opened from the inside.Since she had already been leaning heavily against the door, she became somewhat unstable when the door opened and almost lost her balance.

But compared to losing her balance, obviously something more important had happened. Li Jia, in a state close to panic, released the clothes she had been biting with her lips and tremblingly straightened her posture.

However, she didn't end up falling as she had anticipated.

The person behind her instinctively reached out and held onto her waist, and a gentle voice sounded by her ear, asking, "Li Jia? Are you okay?"

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