CHAPTER 6
Knock, knock, knock—Li Haohao kept knocking on the door.
I was feeling much better, just a bit of sharp pain in my stomach from not eating, but I was accustomed to enduring some insignificant pain. Compared to trembling dizziness and chaos, I could accept this tangible feeling.
I opened the door, and Li Haohao was holding a stainless steel bowl with a lump of oatmeal that looked like vomit inside.
I couldn't demand too much from Li Haohao. Only oatmeal and cornmeal were not locked away, and her space to work with was limited. If she managed not to burn everything to a crisp, it was already quite impressive. I took the bowl and looked at her.
Her cat ears were gone, and she tied her messy hair into a bundle. Now she was swaying in front of me like a broomstick.
Her fingers were normal, and there was nothing strange on her face. Her legs and feet were intact.
As I scrutinized her, Li Haohao understood what I meant. With a leap, she showed me her back.
Her T-shirt was torn, and a mechanical wind-up key appeared on her back.
There seemed to be an animated film before the war with a cute robotic girl with a wind-up key on her back... but what was the name of that animation? I couldn't remember anymore.
Does this wind-up key have any connection to Li Haohao's physiological mechanism? Or is it simply decorative, like the cat ears?
I gently touched the wind-up key, and Li Haohao sighed, saying, "Now I can only sleep on my stomach."
Indeed, this wind-up key is not something a human can grow. It's a thin piece, like half a butterfly wing, with the hardness of metal, but it seems to be seamlessly integrated into Li Haohao's bones, as if it came out of her naturally.
"Have you seen this thing before?"
"I have. Alarm clocks have it."
"Then can you wake yourself up?" I stood while eating the oatmeal, scraping the bowl clean in a few bites. Li Haohao took the bowl and suddenly froze.
"Hmm?" I looked at her, and she didn't say a word. Her eyes darted back and forth, seeming quite anxious.
I walked behind her and twisted the wind-up key forcefully a few times. Twisting the wind-up key reminded me of a toy frog I once had, except this time, Li Haohao was bouncing around, which seemed quite fitting.
Twisting this wind-up key required strength, I used both hands and twisted it three times. Li Haohao let out a breath, saying, "That feeling just now was great!"
"What feeling?"
"Not moving at all! I knew I should move, but my body wouldn't listen to me."
"Oh."
I had made up my mind. When I went to work in the afternoon, I wouldn't wind up Li Haohao, leaving her alone on the first floor to daydream.
"I'm going downstairs to freshen up."
"Are you going out today?"
The plan fell through. I remembered when she wanted to go out earlier, and I stopped her. I couldn't deceive her today.
Then let's go out.
The weather is nice, with large fluffy clouds floating in the sky. The goggles divide the sky into a grid of rounded rectangles, like a wire mesh, occasionally flickering with electric arcs.
Li Haohao has always had difficulty adjusting to the protective suit. Her legs are like chairs, stiffly moving as she comes out, and she still holds the clothes in her hands. The wind-up key lifts the protective suit high, making her hunchbacked and resembling a turtle emerging with a twist, and the clothes spill onto the ground.
"Sun-drying." she says.
Li Haohao has three sets of regular clothes in the outpost. One set is a men's T-shirt that serves no purpose other than as a rag, one set is a women's nightgown with a hole she made, and this outfit she's wearing is an ill-fitting old man's vest, paired with army green shorts.
Because it had been raining for the past few days, the outpost was a bit damp, so she changed clothes more frequently, resulting in frequent washing. She had a face that lacked diligence but was diligent in washing clothes and dishes. She did the tasks assigned to her very well... but the clothes were never completely dry, and she didn't like the smell on them.
We didn't have a clothesline, and it wouldn't be suitable to hang the clothes on the wire mesh either. She looked around, cleared a space, and fetched the dust cover of our small car from the garage, spreading it on the ground.
The clothes drying on the ground were all dusty, and the nightgown was covered in dust. As I took a closer look, I lifted the corner of the nightgown and saw my bra.
"Li Haohao."
Li Haohao always had various tricks when drying clothes, and she had hung my bra under her nightgown.
But wearing the protective suit, her movements were slow, and she pretended not to hear: "Huh? What?"
"Explain yourself." I lifted a corner of the nightgown, and Li Haohao glanced at it, then sat down on the other end of the dust cover without a word and lay down.
Squeak.
Li Haohao justified herself, "These are the ones you don't wear, so they must be dirty. I washed them clean for you to wear."
I didn't have the habit of leaving dirty underwear unwashed. They were all tucked away deep in my drawer and rarely taken out to wear. She seemed to selectively choose, not picking shirts or pants, but specifically underwear, making it look extremely despicable.
Peeping, stealing underwear... If it were before the war, I would have given her a beating and handed her over to her parents.
"Lies."
My "lies" and Li Haohao's "deception" are one and the same, representing that I am now very serious, and there will be consequences if she continues to act playfully.
Li Haohao said, "The bigger clothes are too much trouble to wash."
"You don't need to wash these either."
"When do you ever wash your clothes? You don't change clothes, all secretive, and I don't know where you hang them to dry."
"On the second floor... You don't have to blame me every time you take off your clothes."
"It's your fault." Stubborn as ever.
"Don't touch my clothes next time."
"Why?" Li Haohao's tone was really strange, as if washing my clothes was a matter of course.
"It's weird to wash someone else's underwear."
"Why?" She was even more puzzled, and I didn't even know where to start explaining.
Boundary feeling? This is too complicated for Li Haohao. Privacy? Li Haohao treats privacy like garbage, throwing it around carelessly. For someone who finds it amusing to face the mirror while sleeping, someone who snoops around and reads other people's journals, how could they possibly understand privacy?
I couldn't come up with the right words.
So I said, "In any case, I don't like it."
"But I often wash other people's underwear." she said.
"I'm not someone else." I answered first and then understood her words.
Who does "someone else" refer to?
"Have you had other people make you wash their underwear before?" I asked.
Li Haohao hummed while lying face down, as if sunbathing. But what could she sunbathe through the protective suit? She couldn't even feel the heat, only the brightness that could penetrate the suit and be perceived by us. She squinted her eyes, lying there and sleeping.
"No more next time."
"Okay."
From the tone of her voice, I could tell she would dare to do it again next time.
Forget it, I won't wear it either. I don't need so many clothes. If she wants to wash clothes for others, let her do it. Small items don't waste much water.
I surveyed the outpost. The buildings were intact, the wire mesh was intact, and there were scattered insect corpses outside, but it wasn't to the point where I needed to clean them up.
Li Haohao's wind-up key turned slowly. I could see the movement of her protective suit on her back. When it rotated, it gently lifted one layer and slowly sank on the other side. The winding movement was like a clock, slow and visible to the naked eye.
I didn't know how long I had been staring. The clothes should be dry by now. I snapped back to reality and said, "Pack up, let's go inside."
Li Haohao didn't move.
I couldn't take off her protective suit and wind it up for her right now, so I lightly kicked her, causing her to roll off the dust cover and lie stiffly on the clean floor.
I put away the clothes and the dust cover, going back and forth twice.
Then, taking a deep breath, I stood behind Li Haohao. I avoided the wind-up key hitting my stomach while positioning her legs in the crook of my arm.
Through the visor, I could see Li Haohao blinking, aware that I was watching her. She tightly closed her eyes.
Moving this large clock back, Li Haohao usually just had stiff movements, but now even her body became stiff.
Why did it suddenly have a long wind-up key?
Behind the first door, I could relax a little. I slightly loosened the valve. It felt like Li Haohao was heavier than I imagined— not that I couldn't lift her, but compared to her appearance, her body felt as heavy as two of her.
After entering the second door, I placed her on the changing bench. She maintained a motionless prone position while I lowered my head to unbutton myself and rescue my feet from the tight boots. Then, I squatted down to help Li Haohao take off her boots.
It was quite challenging without her cooperation. I felt the difficulty of dressing her in protective clothing for the first time in a long while.
Initially, she strongly resisted such things, saying, "I can move around outside without needing it."
"But this is an outpost, and you need to abide by outpost regulations." I said.
"I don't follow rules." Li Haohao was rebellious at that time.
"Alright, let me rephrase it. The world after the war is abnormal, but we can still strive to do normal things." I explained while demonstrating how to wear the boots again.
Li Haohao didn't oppose this statement, saying, "I don't know what is normal."
"You can take it slowly, but first, normal people wear protective clothing when going out." I said.
Li Haohao stood stiffly in place, allowing me to put the suffocating garment over her head and then secure her limbs—especially her feet. The ankle bead string she couldn't remove was trapped by the protective suit, making her extremely uncomfortable.
Finally, I managed to free her feet, leaving red marks from the bead string on her ankles. Every time she went out, she had to endure this. I massaged her ankle briefly, removing her protective suit.
I wound up the key, but Li Haohao remained motionless.
"Is it broken?"
She could speak, saying, "I can't move my legs."
"Here?" I pressed the indentation on her ankle, rubbed it a couple of times, and her toes curled uncontrollably.
I understood. Li Haohao wanted me to give her a massage.
I released my grip on her, but Li Haohao continued with her nonsense, saying, "I can't move my arms either."
Resting on the bench, like a melting ice cream, Li Haohao wanted a massage for both her arms and legs. I turned her key a few more times.
"Now you can move." I said.
"I still can't move."
I ignored her and took my underwear upstairs, leaving her to laze around on the first floor.
Which clock did she steal it? I had to check if there was anything else missing from the wardrobe... Even though I was cautious, Li Haohao sometimes had some means that I was unaware of.
Not long after I went upstairs, I noticed blood seeping out from the crack in the door to the room next to mine.
To say it was like a small stream would be an exaggeration; at most, it was like a bucket of water being spilled.
During the last two days of Li Haohao growing cat ears, I didn't lock this door — did Li Haohao go in?
I pushed the door open, and the room was completely different from before.
Chairs were broken in half.
All the drawers were pulled out and scattered on the floor.
The bedsheet was covered in bloody handprints, but it was covered in a thick layer of dust.
On the table, there was a work logs with bloody handprints, twisted like a towel.
The blood flowed from it seemed to have flowed out from there, gushing out to the door outside.
With both hands, I carefully flipped open the work logs.
The contents were ordinary, to be honest. The entries during that period were similar to what I would write, with nothing particularly new.
What mattered was the back of the journal.
But the back was soaked in blood, and when I picked it up, it had turned into a pulp, falling apart piece by piece.
"Zhao Xinyan?" I tried to call out.
No response.
When I turned around, Li Haohao was standing at the door without any warning, a dark silhouette.
"Zhao Xinyan? Is he the owner of this room?" She didn't display the clumsiness she had earlier when she needed help to wind her up. The golden bead string on her wrist shimmered.
She stared at me without moving.
"Did you come in?" I asked.
Li Haohao ignored the bloodstains on the floor — she was standing at the door, barefoot, stepping on the blood.
She said, "The door wasn't locked."
Li Haohao innocently looked down at the ground, indicating that she hadn't crossed the line of the door.
"You should wash your feet." I said.
Li Haohao lowered her head, looking at her blood-soaked feet. Her toes twitched, she took a half step back, and then remained motionless.
This time, I felt she was pretending to be ignorant because when I walked out of the door, her head was straight. But when I turned around to lock it, she tilted her head as if trying to see how I locked it.
I walked behind her to wind up the mechanism. "The wind-up key might have loosened. I just twisted it."
Li Haohao said, "Deception."
If we talk about deception, she was the one deceiving me. I certainly didn't lie just now.
She turned her head back, facing me with a confrontational gaze, but I didn't feel scared. At this moment, she was like a little girl, both in appearance and expression.
But it seemed like she was about to cry, her eyes filled with tears, ready to burst out at any moment. "Deception."
"Because you found it noisy, so I handed him over to you... But don't ask about what happened behind the scenes, just like I wouldn't deliberately ask about your affairs."
She retracted her tongue and held back her words. "I didn't go in."
"Alright... You need to wash your feet."
"Ah... If I walk downstairs, it will make a mess everywhere."
She stubbornly remained in place. After thinking for a moment, I walked to the edge of the bloodstain, took off my shoes, and went barefoot up to the fourth floor, opening the bathroom on the third floor.
The bloody footprints led from the corridor all the way to the bathroom where Li Haohao sat on a stool.
I took out a washbasin and filled it with a small amount of water, allowing her to soak her feet in it.
Suddenly, she stepped on my hand. "I can't move."
"Li Haohao."
The wind up she had just received couldn't be used as an excuse to act dumb.
She swung the golden bead string on her foot, her voice slowly dragging out, as if using golden beads to rub against my arm, and finally made a tinkling sound as it fell into my palm. "It hurts."
Li Haohao was quite good at making requests. Apart from the first time I saw her, helping her put on protective clothing, I hadn't physically touched her body in such a specific manner again, except for pulling her arm and washing her hair.
Massaging her aching ankle would be an easy task, but I didn't want to do it.
Just now, she revealed a pre-war expression:
Coquettish.
Her body hadn't fully matured yet, and instinctively, I saw her as underage. The frivolousness on the face of a minor made me want to admonish her — but wanting to reprimand someone without reason meant that the decay and rigidity behind my age were exposed, giving off a smell of impending decay.
Even so, encouraging her was out of the question. I stood up. "I'm going downstairs to eat canned meat fried rice."
Li Haohao stood up eagerly — and stood in the washbasin. "I want to eat meat."
It seemed that her previous actions were not intentional. Li Haohao lacked common sense, such as her previous actions, such as my underwear, such as her voyeurism towards me — her lack of common sense turned into a strange power.
I entered Zhao Xinyan's room several times, and each time I was locked inside. Every time I entered the room, it would return to its original state. Zhao Xinyan's body wasn't there, but the residual energy was strong. That space emitted a grand pollution, entering it once left a person mentally exhausted and unable to control themselves.
But he disturbed Li Haohao's sleep.
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