CHAPTER 17

A fog had rolled in outside, creating a vast expanse of hazy white. The mist even permeated through the iron mesh, resembling a giant steamer.

Lin Buxiu was the first to turn away from the glass, facing away from the fog. "They haven't come back yet," she said.

As she spoke, she walked downstairs, and Zhao Xinyan followed her. I continued to stand in front of the glass, observing the fog. If necessary, I would run up to the rooftop and operate the heavy machine gun. However, at that moment, everything was silent, and I didn't move. Zhao Xinyan reported the time from downstairs, "It's already midnight."

The commander and the others had left twelve hours ago, and considering the travel time, it would take at least two days for them to return. We shouldn't be so anxious. But we all knew that danger lurked within the fog in the post-war world. Lin Buxiu didn't know what to do downstairs. After a while, Zhao Xinyan ran up, his face serious. "He Ran, it's midnight."

"I know," I responded. Zhao Xinyan shook his head. "Come down and see."

Wearing a dark blue work uniform, which was vastly different from the white lab coat of a researcher, Zhao Xinyan hurriedly walked ahead. We went downstairs and faced a circular clock hanging on the white wall behind the changing bench. The clock's hands pointed to twelve o'clock.

Zhao Xinyan asked me to pay close attention. The second hand ticked and completed a full rotation, while the minute hand remained still. There was a click, as if it had moved forward, but it hadn't really moved forward. The second hand continued to tick, tick, tick forward.

"The minute hand is broken." Zhao Xinyan said.

"That's not the problem."

"Take it down."

We turned the clock upside down and hung it on the wall. The second hand moved past the dial, and the continuous ticking sound filled our ears. Zhao Xinyan stood up and complained about how annoying it was. He smashed the clock on the ground, and Lin Buxiu asked him what he was doing. Zhao Xinyan said it was nothing, but he found the sound irritating, and the clock was already broken, making him irritated.

Lin Buxiu pondered, her hands on her braids. She was the most highly educated among us. She stood up and made a decision. "Zhao Xinyan, check the circulation machine. You're good at cooking, so after you're done, you can make dinner, and we'll all help. He Ran, try to contact them using the communication device. I'll write the log. Everyone should focus on what needs to be done and not panic."

I was accustomed to following orders, so I went upstairs to the communication room, turned on the radio, and put on the headphones. I remained vigilant amidst the crackling sounds, trying to catch any sounds from outside. However, ever since the maintenance of the central signal tower became lax, the outpost felt like an isolated island. It was difficult to receive any news unless it came through from the Daomiao base again. Honestly, even the comms officer himself didn't know how we managed to receive signals.

Wearing the monitoring headphones and holding a pen, I had no idea what was happening outside.

After a while, someone suddenly knocked on the door. I took off one earphone and turned around. Zhao Xinyan was standing at the door, using one leg to support himself as he looked at me. "He Ran, the volume on the radio is too loud. Lower it down, it's irritating me."

I didn't argue and pulled out my gun, pointing it at him. "Your pollution level is increasing. Go to the analyzer."

"You're annoying me now! Can't I say one thing?" He was clearly annoyed by my reaction, but unlike me, no one else was carrying weapons vigilantly. With a gun on the left and a knife on the right, he raised his hands and let out a heavy sigh. "You truly have the demeanor of an iron-blooded soldier."

"Just go get checked." I said.

He regained his composure and sighed again. "Alright."

The inspection results showed that his pollution level had increased by around ten percentage points, roughly estimated by me. The gun remained in place as he grabbed his hair and fell onto the sofa. After a while, Lin Buxiu hurriedly rushed over and was startled by the scene.

"He needs mental stabilization. Let him rest for a while." I said.

Zhao Xinyan angrily stood up, but Lin Buxiu grabbed his shoulder, urging him not to get angry. She comforted him like she was soothing a child, softly saying, "We are all friends, He Ran is doing it for your own good. Rest for a while. Waiting around won't solve anything. I'll cook, and I'll call you when it's ready."

Zhao Xinyan shook his head, groaned while holding his head, and Lin Buxiu watched him leave like a mother. Then she followed me, escorting him back to Zhao Xinyan's room.

Zhao Xinyan lived next to me, and Lin Buxiu took the opportunity to push open my door and said, "You seem a bit tense too. Do you want to rest for a while? I'll call you later."

I shook my head. "You can't act alone."

"Team up?"

"Yes." I nodded and walked behind Lin Buxiu. Suddenly, she straightened her back, slowed her pace, and walked shoulder to shoulder with me.

The rules of the base stated that we couldn't act alone, but that restriction didn't apply within the outpost. However, the fog today was strange, and individual actions within the outpost seemed dangerous. Lin Buxiu and I temporarily formed a small team and entered the kitchen together. We took out flour, and Lin Buxiu would bake bread. She began teaching me how to knead the dough, and as we cooked, she talked.

"When you suddenly pulled out the gun, I felt a bit tense. We're all polluted, so next time I hope you can be calmer. Using violence suddenly might also increase someone's pollution level."

The colleagues in the outpost always spoke their minds. Although I usually kept to myself and didn't have a particularly good relationship with anyone, I still listened to everyone's suggestions. Thinking back, I did realize that I had been too tense. I nodded. "I'll be more careful next time."

Lin Buxiu breathed a sigh of relief, and I asked if she was afraid of me.

"We've never had a chance to spend time alone together." she said.

"I see."

"Mm."

Lin Buxiu didn't say anything more, and after putting the bread in the oven, she suggested making vegetable soup.

"Here, some celery leaves."

After she threw the leaves in, we went upstairs to wake up Zhao Xinyan.

When Zhao Xinyan opened the door, he seemed very tired, but the fierceness in his expression had diminished. "Thank you, both of you."

"Let's stick together today." Lin Buxiu immediately took hold of his arm and led him downstairs. I followed behind, and Zhao Xinyan held Lin Buxiu's hand in return. She gently freed herself, looking a bit flustered.

After the meal, Zhao Xinyan volunteered to wash the dishes, with Lin Buxiu assisting. I sat outside and saw them standing close together. I went upstairs, but I stopped at the corner of the stairs, hearing faint voices.

Lin Buxiu said, "I think He Ran is a bit frightening."

Zhao Xinyan said, "I feel the same, but the commander values her a lot."

"She can fight."

"Yes."

"If she gets polluted, her destructive power would be immense."

I continued upstairs without listening carefully, returned to the communication room, and put on headphones.

My personality is not suited for socializing with others. I don't recommend Lin Buxiu to act alone, but as long as Zhao Xinyan teams up with her, I can easily let go. As for me, being alone? I have a sense of arrogance. Even if pollution comes, I will bite my tongue and stay calm, finally putting the barrel of the gun into my mouth and dying in a dignified manner.

They didn't come to find me, and after a while, the two of them knocked on the door.

The shattered clock, I don't know when it restored itself, hung on the wall, frozen at twelve o'clock. The minute hand shook violently, refusing to move forward no matter how many times the second hand turned.

I raised the gun, Lin Buxiu closed her eyes, and Zhao Xinyan stared at the clock without turning his gaze away. I retracted the gun and held Zhao Xinyan's arm. "Rest for a while. Lin Buxiu and I will keep an eye on things here."

Lin Buxiu said, "He doesn't seem abnormal, does he? He Ran, you should rest."

I felt that we were all somewhat polluted, so I said, "Let's play cards together."

Lin Buxiu untied her braids and combed her hair again. I arranged the deck of cards, and Zhao Xinyan placed his hands on his thighs, gripping tightly. He seemed eager to look back at the clock.

"The clock is broken. We'll fix it another day." I knew as a mechanic he was sensitive to such things, so I hinted as much as possible.

He was still gripping his thighs, watching me deal the cards. After Lin Buxiu finished fixing her hair, she frowned as she picked up her hand of cards. "I'm having bad luck. Zhao Xinyan, where are your cards?"

Zhao Xinyan's hand was under the table. I knew he was trembling, so I kicked him with my foot. He struggled to retrieve his hand and pick up the cards, but his hand trembled again, causing the cards to scatter all over the table. I saw that he had both jokers in his hand and jokingly said, "Are you trying to show off your good cards?"

I wasn't good at making jokes, and even Lin Buxiu's expression seemed off. I didn't know what they interpreted it as.

"Let's shuffle the cards again." I gathered the deck and started dealing. Zhao Xinyan suddenly stood up. "I should go rest."

He stood up and took off the clock he was holding, and looked at it. "I can fix it. It's no big deal. I'm a mechanic... The problem with this clock is not significant." He held the clock in his arms, but I felt it wasn't right.

"Put the clock down."

"I'll take it to my room to fix it."

"Put it down." I wanted to draw my gun, but I remembered Lin Buxiu's words and held back, just verbally trying to calm him down.

But Zhao Xinyan suddenly got angry. "What's your problem? Are you the mechanic, or am I? Just because you were in the military, you think you can boss everyone around now that the commander and the research director are gone? Is that it?"

Lin Buxiu quickly explained to me, "He didn't mean it that way. it's just that everyone's been gone for a while and he's a bit anxious."

She played peacemaker and escorted Zhao Xinyan back to his room. Then she came back downstairs. I could see a brave willingness to die on her face, as if being in the same space as me was somehow terrible, but she still bravely sat next to me, picked up the cards, and shuffled them randomly. "Come on, let's play."

We played two rounds of cards, and time kept passing. Technically, we should all be sleeping by now, but I thought about Zhao Xinyan being next door to me, and Lin Buxiu was out in the hallway, which seemed a bit dangerous. So, I put down the cards in my hand and suggested, "Why don't you come rest in my room tonight?"

I don't know if she heard clearly or not, but she immediately stood up and said, "Ah, I'm going back to sleep. Hopefully, the fog clears up tomorrow."

I could sense that she was afraid of me, and I didn't want her to misunderstand. I was also reluctant to explain anything, so I just nodded and tidied up the things on the table.

Why were they afraid of me? I had been here for seven years, and my military background and the intimidation of carrying weapons shouldn't suddenly have an effect now.

I felt a bit curious, so I first went to the women's changing room and looked in the mirror. Because it was winter, I was wearing a turtleneck sweater and a white coat, with tight pants. I looked like a tall woman with a round ruler-like figure. There was nothing extra on my face, and even my expression didn't show anything extra.

That night, we each slept in our own rooms, and the sound of ticking clocks constantly came from Zhao Xinyan's room.

On the first day, the commander and the others didn't return.

On the second day, they still didn't come back.

On the third day, the fog seemed to have cleared. I heard some noises through the communication system, and I asked both of them to listen together, but we could only confirm that it was the movement from the Daomiao Base, but we couldn't distinguish the content.

We immediately turned off the communication to avoid anyone hearing the indescribable murmurs.

Zhao Xinyan's irritability reached its peak. He sat there every day with a clock in his hands, repairing it. Tick-tock, it made incessant noise. I remained silent, analyzing the level of pollution with the two of them every day and always ready to draw my gun at any moment to let them die with dignity as humans.

I carried a gun with me, not for combat. How many bullets could it hold? I carried it to preserve the dignity of the people in this outpost. They hadn't experienced large-scale pollution. Injured soldiers dreamt that they had turned into a puddle of flesh. They said they had been abandoned, and then they all went crazy, considering each other as enemies, tearing each other apart, going mad, and finally being annihilated in the ruins.   

I maintained my composure. I could always stay calm. That's why I was able to leave the field hospital and take up my post at the outpost.I hoped they could also stay calm, at least not letting their own thoughts spread unchecked.

Before I could make a suggestion, Lin Buxiu spoke. She took it upon herself to strategize in the outpost. "If they don't come back, it's meaningless for just the three of us to stay here. I propose that we go out and find people—"

She raised her hand, and Zhao Xinyan quickly raised his hand. Lin Buxiu let out a sigh of relief. "Then it's the two of us..."

I silently looked at her, and she suddenly said, "He Ran... you have combat capabilities. Do you want to..."

"Okay."

I could see a hint of regret on her face, as if she regretted asking that question.

I thought it would be better for me to stay alone here than for Zhao Xinyan to be alone. The two of them seemed tightly bound together, and I didn't know how Lin Buxiu suddenly started getting involved with Zhao Xinyan.

So I said, "I can stay here."

She seemed relieved, and I waited quietly in the outpost.

They didn't stay out for long and came back in our small car.

Lin Buxiu had a pale complexion, and when she saw me, she grabbed Zhao Xinyan's arm in terror.

Then, not long after, the remaining six people from the outpost returned.

Everyone hadn't rested yet when the commander convened a meeting. He suspected that one of us had a pollution level exceeding fifty, affecting the outpost. However, the analyzer couldn't detect it, so he asked us to report on each other, trying to identify the person with unusual behavior who could be the pollutant.

At that moment, Lin Buxiu said, "I think it's He Ran. Just now, Zhao Xinyan and I went out in the car to look for you... He Ran was alone at the outpost. The fog was thick, and we quickly returned after a short while. He Ran was standing in front of the car without wearing protective gear."

Everyone's gaze turned towards me, and I said I hadn't been outside.

Lin Buxiu suddenly slammed the table. "She's lying! She was looking at me in the fog, she kept looking at me, and I got scared. I accidentally stepped on the accelerator, and I felt like I ran her over—but after returning to the outpost, she was sitting there fine!"

"I haven't been outside. I don't know why you're so afraid of me—" I wanted to explain from the beginning, but then I stopped. I had no evidence to prove it, and I couldn't recite the maintenance manual on the spot to prove that I had been diligently reading it without going out. I was also puzzled. If anyone who went out had a problem, why didn't they resolve it outside the outpost? I had even more doubts about the team commander, but I knew that baseless suspicion in a group could be deadly, so I remained silent.

They took a vote, and the majority overruled the minority, deciding that I was the pollutant.

I didn't defend myself. The research director spun his pen around and cursed, "This is absurd."

The commander said, "You're shielding her."

The commander and the research director had always been at odds. The research director was a woman with the same rank as him, and thanks to her, the female ratio in this outpost was higher than in others, which displeased the commander—he believed that women couldn't be called warriors.

"Pollutants aren't determined by a vote," the research director threw down her pen and scanned the room. "If the analyzer can't detect it, that means no one needs to be singled out through a vote. If there's something unusual in the outpost, it can only be that everyone's pollution level has temporarily caused some changes in our area."

"But none of us have any issues..." The commander looked at me. "It doesn't matter. We'll stay calm, maintain normality and sanity. He Ran, whether it's you or not, don't worry, we won't do anything to you. We just want to know the answer for our peace of mind. Go back to your room and rest. Don't come out without permission. Meeting adjourned."

They all had problems.

The next day, apart from the three of us who stayed behind, everyone else died.

There was no need to tell Li Haohao about these words. In the idealistic aftermath of the war, every thought was important and crucial. Being able to recall these things wasn't easy for me, it meant normality. I was reminiscing—but the memories were filled with abnormalities.

At this very moment, I was sitting on the road without protective suit, and Li Haohao grinned with a mouth full of strange teeth, innocently smiling at me. I stood up abruptly and threw the protective gear into the car. "The camping trip is over. Let's go back."

"Camping?" Li Haohao noted the peculiar term. "Are we camping? Can we camp a bit longer?"

If we camped any longer, it wouldn't be normal anymore. I said, "Get in the car."

She realized the seriousness in my tone and didn't waste any words. She ran towards me with two pairs of boots in her arms. "Can we come again next time?"

I made a couple of failed attempts to grab the control lever and took a deep breath.

"We can camp even when we go back." I evaded her question.

"Deception," Li Haohao said.

I firmly grasped the control lever. "Do you know what camping means?"

"I know."

I turned my head, and Li Haohao held onto my arm. "There's barbecue, many people, and tents."

It was almost like camping before the approaching war, I didn't start the car. Li Haohao's interest momentarily overshadowed other thoughts, and I remained calm.

But I bit my tongue, restraining my curiosity to explore further.

"Sounds nice."

"You just lied to me."

"I've never been camping, I've only heard about it."

"Oh."

She was easily persuaded, not really angry. She sat with the boots in her arms in the passenger seat, waiting for a while before saying, "It's also normal not to wear protective gear. There are many people in a house with a big glass dome. Inside the house, there's a lawn, and they don't need protective gear to have flowers and plants. Then they have barbecue together."

"Mm."

"I'll do normal things." Li Haohao seemed to assure me, but also explain why she took off her protective suit without my permission.

In her eyes, that was also a form of normality. This self-deceptive assurance put my mind at ease.

Raising my hand, I ruffled her hair.

Li Haohao lifted her head, allowing me to ruffle it more firmly, and took the opportunity to ask, "Shall we go back and camp?"

"I'll give it a try."

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