CHAPTER 216
Tang Ruoyao welcomed her second New Year at the Qin residence.
Just like last year, Tang Ruoyao maintained her "leisurely" lifestyle. She now selectively accepted endorsements and rarely appeared in public, leading her fans to see her as elusive and mysterious.
She wasn't truly idle, nor was she content with idleness. She watched movies and read books at home, went out to watch plays, theater performances, and concerts. She also spent time with her family, pursued romantic relationships, and occasionally accompanied Han Yuping to social events. Her life became more fulfilling than before, and she gained many new insights. She believed that when she returned to acting, she would be even more skilled.
Tang Ruoyao became even more "Zen," much to the frustration of her fans.
Previously, fans at least knew when she was on set filming. But now, it was as if she disappeared into thin air. She stayed at home, avoiding public appearances, and no matter how resourceful her fans were, they couldn't figure out what she was up to.
Last year, Tang Ruoyao's marriage announcement led to a significant decrease in her media exposure, causing her fans to entertain a terrifying speculation: Was she planning to retire?
Returning to family life, focusing on being a wife and mother, was a choice made by many married female celebrities. But how old was Tang Ruoyao? She was barely twenty-four or twenty-five, right in the prime years for a female celebrity. How could she possibly retire?
The fans immediately wore worried expressions, expressing their concerns on Weibo.
The imperial concubines (fans) shared the same worries. Who was Qin Yinong? She was known for being a workaholic, constantly on set. Even if the sky fell, it wouldn't stop Qin Yinong from going to the set to film. While there were diligent individuals in the industry and those with exceptional talent, Qin Yinong was the only one who combined genius with an insane work ethic. The imperial concubines used to feel both sympathetic and proud of her.
After the completion of "True Colors," Qin Yinong hadn't taken on any new projects. Three months passed, then five, and half a year went by. Fans could understand if she wanted to take a break, even a longer break of one year. But it had been almost two years now. How could the imperial concubines sit still?
There was a brilliant actress in the 1990s, hailed as someone guided by God to act. She fearlessly faced hardships and challenges, becoming a well-known national goddess and embodying the highest imagination of Eastern charm in a fleeting and glamorous manner. She had become a symbol. After reaching the peak of her career, she decisively chose to retire, leaving behind the transient fame and pursuing other interests.
Qin Yinong's situation was strikingly similar. She was no longer young, had won all the awards she could, and seemed to have nothing left to pursue. Like the predecessor who suddenly retired, she contemplated retiring as well, gracefully exiting the spotlight at the height of her success, preserving her reputation, and leaving the most beautiful moments in the memories of film and photography. For some people, it truly seemed like the best outcome.
Qin Yinong may retire from the entertainment industry. Initially, this news was only circulating among fans, but gradually some gossip-loving internet users also took notice.
The rumors, which were groundless, spread and eventually the word "may" was removed.
"Qin Yinong Retiring" became the top trending topic.
— "Don't retire!" (21,871 likes)
— "The first thunderclap of 2021. Tears welled up when I heard this news." (18,752 likes)
— "Qin Yinong is only 31. There's no need to rush. Keep making movies for two more years, please!" (16,238 likes)
— "The entertainment industry is lacking successors now. How can Qin Huang retire?" (14,230 likes)
— "At 24, she won crowned at Cannes, won dual awards at three major international film festivals, achieved great success in the domestic film industry. How can the star bestowed by the heavens retire? I urge her to continue shining!" (12,546 likes)
Qin Yinong never responded to the rumors about retirement, but they kept spreading and gaining momentum.
When Lin Ruohan came across this trending topic online, her eyebrows furrowed. She immediately called Qin Yinong and went straight to the point, saying, "Are you planning to retire?"
Qin Yinong was puzzled and replied, "No, why?"
Lin Ruohan breathed a sigh of relief, but Qin Yinong's tone changed vaguely, saying, "Maybe soon."
If Tang Ruoyao can win an award this year for her role in "Xiao Hong."
Lin Ruohan waved her hand, rejecting the dessert that Ren Xingyue offered with a small fork. Her voice turned cold. "Why?"
Qin Yinong couldn't reveal the real reason and simply said, "Busy with other things."
Lin Ruohan's heart felt heavy. She walked to the balcony to catch some fresh air and said, "Too busy to take on any acting roles?"
Qin Yinong replied with a mumble, "Hmm."
Lin Ruohan angrily retorted, "Don't try to fool me. Speak up!"
Qin Yinong fell into silence for a moment. She spoke half-truthfully, saying, "I want to stay at home and accompany my wife."
Lin Ruohan cursed, "You're such a disappointment!"
Ren Xingyue was beside her, thinking that Lin Ruohan was scolding her. She looked up in confusion, and Lin Ruohan made a gesture with her hand, indicating for Ren Xingyue to leave. Ren Xingyue silently walked away, and Lin Ruohan closed the balcony door.
Qin Yinong allowed Lin Ruohan to scold her relentlessly. She had made up her mind and only wanted to let Lin Ruohan vent her frustrations.
Unexpectedly, after Lin Ruohan finished scolding her and calmed down, she asked, "What if your wife wants to act?"
Qin Yinong replied, "We'll buy or rent a place near the set, just like in City W."
Lin Ruohan acknowledged with an "Oh" and said, "So you'll be watching her act every day without feeling the itch to do it yourself?"
Qin Yinong responded, "It's manageable."
Lin Ruohan sighed and said, "Don't you feel regretful about it yourself?"
Qin Yinong was about to answer when Lin Ruohan interrupted, saying, "Those were something you've accumulated over the past decade or so. Are you just willing to let it go like that? How can you not miss the days of acting? How can you not feel nostalgic about it?"
Qin Yinong remained silent.
Even if one does a dull and tasteless job for more than ten years, upon leaving, there will still be a sense of nostalgia, not for the job itself but for the young self from back then.
Acting was not a boring job, Qin Yinong gained a lot from it. It had even been her lifeline, apart from her sister. Acting was everything she had.
Giving it up all of a sudden, of course, she felt regretful, but she also believed it was worth it.
On the two ends of a scale, there are light and heavy weights. When everything is added up, it cannot outweigh Tang Ruoyao. Qin Yinong wanted to step back and give Tang Ruoyao the best future.
Qin Yinong evaded the question and said calmly, "Everyone has to make choices."
Lin Ruohan softly said, "Then why is it always you who sacrifices? Or should I say, you always willingly put yourself in the position of sacrifice?"
Qin Yinong argued, "I'm not sacrificing. It's not that."
Lin Ruohan spoke quickly and immediately followed up, "Then what is it? When there's gain, there must be loss. She gains, and you give up. If that's not sacrifice, what is it? You're already in your thirties, and she's young and strong. She should pamper and indulge you. Enjoy your own life. You're seven years older than her. You're not 27, and you're not her mother. Why do you play this selfless sacrifice game?"
Qin Yinong: "..."
Is the first half and the second half related?
Qin Yinong smiled and said, "I..."
Lin Ruohan interrupted her and said, "I can't reason with you. I won't argue with you. But I think you have a bit of a martyrdom spirit. Treating your wife like you treat your daughter, always shouldering everything by yourself, paving the way for both of you alone. Ask her if this is what she wants. You two are together now, and anything involving her shouldn't be decided by you alone."
Lin Ruohan continued coldly, "I don't know how you talked to her, but she actually agreed to your retirement from acting. Maybe you deceived her for a moment, maybe you even deceived yourself. Fooling yourself that you don't love movies that much, fooling yourself that this is also good. If you truly don't love movies that much and are willing to take a different path, I wish you well. But if it's for her, you have better choices. Let me give you some advice, time cannot be turned back. If you don't properly catch what's given to you, it will be taken away."
Qin Yinong suddenly shuddered.
......
After Lin Ruohan hung up the phone for a long time, Qin Yinong remained motionless, still holding the phone.
After a while, her expression became slightly strained, and she slowly put down the phone.
On the last shoot before the new year, Qin Yinong was interviewed by reporters backstage. They asked her about the recent buzz regarding her retirement from acting. In front of the camera, Qin Yinong remained silent for a long time, which made the reporter feel uneasy.
Could it be true?
After a while, Qin Yinong slowly spoke, "I currently don't have such plans. I have been focusing more on my family recently, and due to limited time, I haven't been taking on as many acting projects as before."
The reporter said, "We look forward to seeing new works from Qin Yinong, the actress, in the future."
Qin Yinong politely replied, "Thank you."
On the afternoon of the 29th of the twelfth month, Tang Ruoyao took a nap and woke up halfway, realizing that her pillow was cold. She rubbed her eyes, got up, put on a coat, and came out of the room. Finally, she found Qin Yinong in the home theater, a few rooms away from the bedroom.
Qin Yinong was playing a personal edit of her own movie when she heard a sound and paused. Tang Ruoyao saw that the progress bar on the screen had already been running for thirty minutes, almost since she fell asleep not long ago, Qin Yinong had come over.
Tang Ruoyao sat cross-legged on the tatami mat and casually asked, "Why aren't you sleeping?"
Qin Yinong found a random excuse and said, "I slept too much last night."
Tang Ruoyao didn't expose her, gently saying, "Continue watching, I'll accompany you."
Qin Yinong resumed playing the movie.
For ten years, from the age of twenty to thirty, she dedicated herself to movies, except for sporadic vacations. Her birthdays were all spent on set, and the traces left by movies in her life were indelible.
She had made many movies, playing lead roles and supporting roles, good characters and evil characters, beauty and ugliness. She had countless faces, and she couldn't remember how many movies she had precisely made or how many characters she had portrayed. But whenever each role appeared on the screen, she found her memories so vivid. She remembered the hardships and interesting incidents she experienced while interpreting them, the segment of life she went through, all clear in her mind.
Qin Yinong's eyes welled up with tears.
She also realized that she didn't dislike movies as much as she had thought.
The reason she could be so carefree now, announcing her retirement and actually retiring, was because she had a sense of security. She had so much, so giving up one or two things for what was most important wasn't a big deal. Moreover, she wasn't abandoning them, she was only temporarily storing them away, and she could always retrieve them if she wanted.
Time cannot be turned back. If you don't properly catch what's given to you, it will be taken away.
If one day she lost this talent...
A version of herself that couldn't act in movies...
Qin Yinong shuddered.
Tang Ruoyao had vaguely sensed that something was wrong with Qin Yinong recently.
She had seen the rumors online and asked Qin Yinong about them. Qin Yinong's attitude was as casual as ever, busy with her company and seemingly happy. Tang Ruoyao helped her look for scripts, and if there were suitable ones, she would discuss them with Qin Yinong. Qin Yinong would read them, either saying she had no availability or that the scripts weren't outstanding enough. She had high standards, and Tang Ruoyao didn't think there was anything wrong with that. But what was strange was that after Qin Yinong said the script wasn't outstanding enough, Tang Ruoyao would put it in a drawer, and later she would secretly take it out and read it again, her expression peculiar.
Tang Ruoyao guessed that Qin Yinong didn't actually not want to make movies but was suppressing herself, trying not to think about it.
They had discussed the issue of quitting the film industry several times. Tang Ruoyao wasn't a forceful person, and she didn't want to be. She fully respected Qin Yinong's personal wishes. Qin Yinong appeared gentle and considerate, everything went along with her, and she had the final say in everything. But in reality, she was a very stubborn person with her own set of principles and judgments.
With over thirty years of experience and knowledge, she had become mature and rational. However, maturity also brought its drawbacks, such as stubbornness and unwillingness to accept other opinions or humbly change, sometimes even deceiving herself. She didn't even realize that there was a problem with her behavior.
She was the older one, the more powerful one, so it was natural for her to give up certain things to pave the way for their future. Was there a problem with that?
It's easier for onlookers to see clearly than those involved.
Lin Ruohan's timely reminder made Qin Yinong realize that what she had been giving up was not what she considered secondary or unimportant.
She could give up her company, but she couldn't give up her acting career.
Movies were her second greatest passion, after Tang Ruoyao.
The images flickered on the screen, bridging the distance between heaven and earth, as her past selves walked through the river of time, never to return. Outside the screen, Qin Yinong unknowingly had tears streaming down her face.
Tang Ruoyao gently embraced her, listening to her silent sobbing as tears wet her shoulder.
After a long time.
Qin Yinong sat before the screen, feeling utterly lost.
She couldn't give up movies, and Tang Ruoyao wouldn't either. That meant they were destined to face a situation of being apart more than together. Qin Yinong still had her company, and the current workload was no less than before, making it difficult for her to balance everything.
Tang Ruoyao had once suggested that they take on projects at different times, so when one person was filming, the other would accompany them. But it was easier said than done. Even in W City, they couldn't stay there for half of the time.
What should she do to make the best choice for both of them?
Her thoughts were in chaos, and she didn't realize that she had spoken her true feelings in front of Tang Ruoyao. Tang Ruoyao let out a long sigh, a heaviness that almost took physical form.
Tang Ruoyao cupped Qin Yinong's face with both hands.
Qin Yinong's face was small, and being held like this made her eyes look unusually big. Her dark pupils were tinged with a hint of confusion and helplessness.
Tang Ruoyao, both loving and pitying her, couldn't bring herself to say anything harsh. She said, "Look at me."
Qin Yinong looked at her.
Tang Ruoyao took a deep breath and asked, "Who am I?"
Qin Yinong answered, "My wife."
Tang Ruoyao said, "Do you remember what I said when I confessed to you and asked you to be my girlfriend?"
Qin Yinong blinked her eyelashes slowly.
Tang Ruoyao looked into her eyes and said word by word, "Whether in good times or bad, in wealth or poverty, in health or sickness, in happiness or sorrow, I will always cherish you, treasure you, be loyal to you, and be with you through thick and thin, in life and in death."
Qin Yinong's voice was hoarse as she said, "I remember."
Tang Ruoyao said, "Why do you always think about sacrificing something for our relationship? Isn't being together a happy thing for both of us? Why does it sound so melancholic when it comes out of your mouth?"
"..." Qin Yinong said, "You have also reduced a lot of work for me, haven't you? Staying at home every day, your fans think you're going to retire."
Tang Ruoyao made a sound and calmly asked, "Do you know what I do at home?"
Of course, Qin Yinong knew, "Watching movies, reading books, practicing calligraphy, watching dramas, stage plays, musicals..." She counted them off and gradually furrowed her brows.
Tang Ruoyao coolly said, "Do you still think I'm sacrificing? I live a much richer life than before."
Qin Yinong: "..."
Tang Ruoyao sighed and said, "We agreed to share joy and sorrow, but in the end, you only give me joy while you bear the sorrow alone. What kind of marriage is this?"
Qin Yinong instinctively refuted, "I haven't."
Tang Ruoyao didn't argue with her, waved her hand, and said, "Alright, if you say you haven't, then you haven't."
Qin Yinong: "???"
Tang Ruoyao said, "I fell asleep during my nap. I'll sleep a little more." She grabbed a blanket and pillow and lay down on the tatami floor. The room had heating, so she wasn't afraid of catching a cold.
Tang Ruoyao didn't want to say much now. Firstly, Qin Yinong was a smart person, and she didn't need to explain things so clearly. Secondly, Tang Ruoyao was angry with her and didn't feel like dealing with her. She wanted to calm down before speaking.
Tang Ruoyao fell asleep just like that, breathing lightly. Qin Yinong sat upright with a solemn expression, contemplating the words Tang Ruoyao had said.
Was she really wrong?
As Qin Yinong thought about it, her gaze fell on Tang Ruoyao's sleeping face. She slowly reached out a hand and gently placed it on the young woman's cheek. Suddenly, Qin Yinong raised a hand firmly grasped Tang Ruoyao's wrist.
After carefully checking, Qin Yinong confirmed that Tang Ruoyao was indeed still asleep, but she continued to hold her hand and did not let go.
Qin Yinong decided not to think about it anymore. She lay down on her side and slept facing Tang Ruoyao, taking a nap.
Qin Yinong had a general understanding of where she went wrong, but two conflicting thoughts were wrestling within her. She didn't know how to sort them out at the moment, let alone make a decision.
She told Tang Ruoyao everything that Lin Ruohan had said.
When Tang Ruoyao heard the part about "You're already in your thirties, and she's young and strong. She should pamper and indulge you. Enjoy your own life." she agreed wholeheartedly and said, "Teacher Lin is right."
Qin Yinong deliberately asked, "I'm already in my thirties?"
Without hesitation, Tang Ruoyao betrayed Lin Ruohan, saying, "Teacher Lin is already thirty-five, almost thirty-six. You're still young."
Qin Yinong smiled with satisfaction.
Tang Ruoyao continued, "But her mindset is younger than yours." Regardless of whether she would get punished or not, Tang Ruoyao had to say it. She continued, "Teacher Lin's girlfriend is about the same age as me. The two of them are like sisters when they're together."
Qin Yinong curiously asked, "What about us?"
Tang Ruoyao gave her a look that said, "Do I have to say it?"
Qin Yinong fell silent for a moment and reluctantly said, "We're not always like a mother-daughter relationship."
Tang Ruoyao sneered and bluntly exposed the truth, "Most of the time, it is like a mother-daughter relationship."
Qin Yinong could only say, "The way couples interact with each other is different."
Tang Ruoyao pinched her face and glared, saying, "Are you still trying to argue?"
Qin Yinong obediently closed her mouth.
In this journey of love, Teacher Qin is no longer Teacher Qin; she has become Student Qin.
Tang Ruoyao said that her thinking had fallen into a misconception. She hadn't fully grasped the concept of selflessness and sacrifice. It seemed like the more precious the relationship, the more it needed to be accompanied by sacrifices to highlight its importance, but that wasn't the case.
Tang Ruoyao also said that she had made a big mistake. They had agreed to face both good and bad times together, to share joy and sorrow, and had even made a toast together. But in the end, she had deceived herself, thinking that she alone should bear their future. That's why she deserved punishment.
That night, time and time again, Tang Ruoyao returned to her original state and refused to give in. She deliberately dragged it out, infuriating Qin Yinong to the point where she almost snapped and bit her.
Qin Yinong's issues couldn't be resolved with just one conversation. She needed to make her realize that she didn't have to sacrifice anything, as long as they worked together, they could have the best of both worlds.
Tang Ruoyao brought her a stack of new scripts and piled them on the desk, insisting, "Choose."
Qin Yinong glanced at her, took a deep breath, and focused on reading the scripts.
It had been a long time since she had properly read a script. The printed pages carried the scent of ink. Qin Yinong caressed the outline of the first script, raised her gaze, and met Tang Ruoyao's eyes.
Tang Ruoyao smiled at her.
Qin Yinong lowered her head and smiled with relief.
Tang Ruoyao was delighted to see that radiant Qin Yinong again.
Qin Yinong was also happy because she had found that radiant self in Tang Ruoyao's eyes.
On the second day of the Lunar New Year, Qin Yinong went to the Ji family's family banquet.
She considered whether to bring Tang Ruoyao along but quickly dismissed the idea. Not to mention that their relationship wasn't public yet, even if it were, the Ji family was not a place where she could easily bring someone. As a less important branch member, she had already attracted enough attention due to Ji Yunyao. Bringing a girlfriend would only complicate matters.
The Ji family had many descendants, and the banquet occupied an entire floor of the venue, with a grand atmosphere.
Qin Yinong attended the banquet in a modest manner, but due to her outstanding beauty and demeanor, she immediately attracted the attention of many people when she entered. Regardless of their genuine intentions, everyone present showed friendly smiles.
Some distant relatives who had a good relationship with Qin Yinong came forward and pulled her to the seating area.
Qin Yinong, even with Ji Yunyao as her backing, still maintained her previous demeanor. She didn't get overly close or distant. She felt a few scrutinizing gazes, their meaning unclear, but gradually, it seemed like they withdrew.
As the banquet was about to begin, Qin Yinong felt like something was missing. She looked around the venue, especially at the main table of the Ji family's direct line, but Ji Yunyao was nowhere to be seen.
Her eyebrows slightly furrowed, and she whispered to the branch member beside her, "Why is Ji Yunyao not here?"
Due to their seniority, she usually addressed Ji Yunyao by name.
The person who answered her was the same generation as Ji Yunyao and said, "I heard that the young Miss Jing got punished." Their voices were so low that only the two of them could hear.
Qin Yinong decided to switch to texting.
She took out her phone from her bag and saw a message that came in: [The young Miss Ji mismanaged business, losing two family's companies, and the family patriarch put her under house arrest.]
Qin Yinong's eyes widened.
She knew about Ji Yunyao's involvement in the downfall of two companies, but she didn't expect that Ji Yunyao would sacrifice two companies to severely damage Li Yichuan's vitality.
Two years ago, Ji Yunyao had promised to help Qin Yinong deal with Li Yichuan. After that, Qin Yinong gave her the information she had collected. Ji Yunyao, using the excuse of not liking others interfering, took it upon herself to handle everything. She was a gambler, and Li Yichuan could never have imagined that she would be willing to use her own company as bait to bring him down. After all, on the surface, they had no enmity between them.
A few days ago, Ji Yunyao sent her a message with good news, and Qin Yinong had planned to personally cook and invite her over for a meal. Ji Yunyao casually said she would come when she had time, and Qin Yinong had thought...
So it turned out she had acted on her own without her father's approval? Why didn't she tell me?
Qin Yinong suddenly realized that it would be strange for Ji Yunyao to inform her, considering her personality.
Qin Yinong's mind was filled with mixed emotions.
......
The Ji family.
The ancestral tablets of the Ji family's ancestors were displayed in the ancestral hall, neatly arranged in a row. The dark plaques appeared eerie in the flickering candlelight.
In front of the prayer mats, there knelt a slender figure.
Tonight's family banquet, except for the punished Ji Yunyao, all the people with the surname Ji in the old mansion went out.
The old servant looked around and, seeing no one, quietly slipped in with a tray. He was old and not very agile, but he quickly placed the tray next to Ji Yunyao as quietly as possible, saying, "Miss, no one in the house noticed. Please eat something quickly."
Ji Yunyao kept her eyes open, gazing straight ahead, without moving her eyeballs. She replied, "I'm not eating. Take it away."
The old servant pleaded, "These are all cold dishes, there won't be any smell. You've been kneeling all day."
Ji Yunyao remained indifferent and repeated, "I'm not eating."
The old servant picked up a glass of water and said, "Then at least drink some water."
Ji Yunyao's lips were dry and cracked as she simply said, "I'm being punished."
The old servant exclaimed, "Miss!"
Ji Yunyao closed her eyes.
The old servant anxiously paced around her for a few turns, then reluctantly left with the tray.
After kneeling for who knows how long, Ji Yunyao heard a voice.
"The old patriarch wants to see you in the study." A servant informed her at the entrance of the ancestral hall.
Ji Yunyao respectfully responded, "Okay."
Using one hand to support herself on the ground, she gritted her teeth and stood up. Her joints felt stiff as if frozen, and her legs' muscles were cramping painfully. She stood in place for a few seconds, trying to ease the discomfort, and then followed the servant into the study as if nothing had happened.
"Grandfather." Ji Yunyao knelt down again and lowered her gaze.
"Do you know what you did wrong?" The voice from above sounded calm, carrying an undeniable authority.
"This Granddaughter doesn't know what she did wrong." Although Ji Yunyao was kneeling on the ground, her presence was not weaker than the person above. She continued, "As the heir of the Ji family, I am supposed to protect all the descendants of the Ji family. Isn't that what you taught me from day one?"
Yinong more like hit a slump
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