CHAPTER 191

"Teacher." Qin Yinong was dismissed, and Tang Ruoyao sat in Qin Yinong's previous seat, looking respectful.

The teacher's expression changed from the politeness shown to Qin Yinong to a faint disapproval when looking at Tang Ruoyao.

The teacher sighed and asked, "Do you know her?"

Tang Ruoyao didn't hesitate, "Of course."

The teacher's gaze changed again, showing a mix of sorrow and helplessness, as if watching a beloved junior take the wrong path.

She rephrased her question, "She said you two got together shortly after you started university?"

"Yes."

"At that time, how old were you?"

"Nineteen."

The teacher repeated that number and looked at her calmly without saying a word.

Tang Ruoyao understood her meaning and replied calmly, "Being nineteen doesn't mean I lack the ability to judge people. You've mentored me for four years and have praised my maturity and intellect beyond my peers more than once, haven't you?"

"I have," the teacher said calmly, "but that's a different matter."

"Please, teacher, enlighten me."

"Her reputation is very bad, haven't you heard? There's no smoke without fire. There must be a reason behind it."

"You also said you've heard it. We can't take rumors seriously. Even seeing something with our own eyes doesn't always mean it's true, let alone hearing things." Tang Ruoyao remained composed, subtly displaying a stubbornness.

The teacher shook her head inwardly and said, "That's exactly what I mean. You're too young and easily deceived by her. How much life experience does she have compared to you? She's kept you confined within the school gate. How many opportunities do you have to understand the outside world?"

"That's prejudice on your part."

"Are all opinions different from yours considered prejudice? I'm also partially involved in this circle. If she truly is innocent, wouldn't I have heard any rumors?"

"So, everyone misunderstands her?"

Tang Ruoyao firmly replied, "Yes."

And she claimed her mind wasn't clouded by love?

The teacher displayed profound disappointment.

It was the first time she looked at her with such eyes.

Ignoring the dull ache in her sinking heart, Tang Ruoyao straightened her back and looked back firmly, "Teacher, I am your student whom you have personally taught. You should trust me."

She insisted, leaving the teacher speechless.

"As your mentor, all I can do is leave you with a piece of advice. I hope you can calm down and reconsider this relationship carefully."

Tang Ruoyao clenched her fists tightly, remaining silent.

The teacher thought she had taken it in and added, "It's never too late to turn back."

It was because of this last statement that Tang Ruoyao almost got into an argument with her teacher.

What does "turn back" mean? Why is it that everyone around her, except for the underage Tang Fei, believes that Qin Yinong is not a good person? They all look at her through tinted glasses, just like the rest of the world.

She was getting married, but there wasn't a single friend or family member who genuinely wished them well in their relationship. Not a single person believed that Qin Yinong was worthy of a lifelong commitment.

She didn't necessarily need these added blessings, but she felt unjust on behalf of Qin Yinong.

Why?

They didn't know how much Qin Yinong had sacrificed for her. They didn't understand what kind of person she was. Why did they have the audacity to criticize her, calling her "lost," and urging her to turn back?

......

Tang Ruoyao had been in a low mood the entire way. Qin Yinong could guess why—most likely her teacher had said something negative about their relationship. It wasn't just her teacher, even her roommate sent her a gossip article in the middle of the night.

Qin Yinong knew all this.

She wasn't afraid of being misunderstood or feeling wronged, but she was afraid that Tang Ruoyao would be upset because of her suffering.

The reality had turned out just like that.

She shouldn't have gone to meet her teacher in the first place.

When they arrived home and returned to their familiar environment, Tang Ruoyao's mood brightened slightly. She held Qin Yinong's hand as they got out of the car and entered the house. Tang Fei was holding a basketball, practicing some tricks.

The spinning basketball stopped on his fingertips, and Tang Fei cradled it in his arms, smiling with his white teeth showing. He said, "Sister, sister-in-law, you're back."

Qin Jianing, who was quietly practicing calligraphy, said, "Mom, mommy."

Suddenly, Tang Ruoyao thought, it's fine like this. Their relationship doesn't need to be understood by others, their family understanding is enough. In this home, she will always feel comfortable and free.

This was actually a dangerous mindset, indicating that she was actively narrowing her circle, isolating herself. She had formed a childlike and stubborn kind of paranoia regarding anything related to Qin Yinong. If you don't like her, fine, then I won't like you either. If this continues, it will eventually affect her social circle, unless she forever hides Qin Yinong from the outside world, but that was impossible.

She wished she could announce her relationship with Qin Yinong to the world. This meeting with her teacher was also orchestrated by Tang Ruoyao, thinking it would be an opportunity for Qin Yinong to gradually enter her circle. However, things didn't go as she had hoped.

Amidst these complicated emotions, her thoughts became even more paranoid.

Qin Yinong initially didn't know that Tang Ruoyao had so many thoughts in her mind until before they went to bed that night. Tang Ruoyao, in a somewhat stubborn manner, said, "For our wedding, I won't invite anyone except for my roommates."

Qin Yinong was surprised and asked, "Why?"

She had previously made quite a list, including teachers and friends, enough to fill a table.

Tang Ruoyao buried her face in Qin Yinong's embrace and murmured, "I just don't want to invite them." She didn't want to give a reason and pretended to act like a child throwing a tantrum.

Qin Yinong lowered her head to look at her, but all she could see was her dark hair. She moved back a bit and caught a glimpse of Tang Ruoyao's tightly pressed lips, and instantly understood half of the situation. "Are you worried that they won't like me?" she asked.

Tang Ruoyao thought to herself, 'What does it mean to be worried? They simply don't like you.'

Tang Ruoyao casually replied, "No, I just feel it's unnecessary. Besides, we don't have that close of a relationship anyway."

Qin Yinong raised an eyebrow and calmly said, "So the teacher we visited today not that close of a relationship either?" Wasn't it on the third day of the Lunar New Year when she went to the hospital to visit her, specifically bringing Qin Yinong along?

Tang Ruoyao lifted her eyelids, her eyes showing a barely noticeable hint of redness.

Qin Yinong kissed her eyes tenderly and comforted her, saying, "Baby, I understand. You don't need to defend me."

"But how can I just let it go!" Tang Ruoyao's emotions fluctuated, and she retorted, "We're getting married, should I just turn a blind eye to her badmouthing you?"

Sure enough, she had badmouthed her, and it made her little treasure so angry.

Qin Yinong reached out and caressed Tang Ruoyao's face, asking, "What did she say exactly?"

Tang Ruoyao felt her anger rise again just thinking about it, and her eyes became even redder. She calmed herself down a bit and said, "She said you have a bad reputation and advised me to consider our relationship carefully and turn back before it's too late."

Qin Yinong: "..." Her expression became subtle. "That's it?" Compared to what she had heard before, it was far better, if you round it up, it's actually a compliment.

Tang Ruoyao puffed up her cheeks and said, "Yes."

Qin Yinong lightly chuckled, unable to hold back, and said, "Your teacher truly is a cultured person."

Tang Ruoyao's expression turned angry. "Qin Yinong!"

She was still able to laugh about it?!

Qin Yinong cleared her throat and said, "I won't laugh anymore." She tilted her lips downwards. "Is this reaction acceptable?"

Tang Ruoyao couldn't help but laugh at her playfully. "Why are you so annoying?"

Qin Yinong continued to pout. "If your teacher doesn't like me, then you must dislike me too."

Tang Ruoyao knew she was just pretending, and her performance was not convincing at all, but she still couldn't stand hearing those words. She quickly softened her voice and said, "I love you more than anything."

Qin Yinong relaxed her brows, her eyes sparkling with a smile, and said, "I feel the same way."

Tang Ruoyao held back her words all day and finally spoke out. Her mood wasn't as heavy anymore, and Qin Yinong took the opportunity to console her, saying, "Look at it from a different perspective, they're just concerned about you."

Tang Ruoyao replied gloomily, "I know."

The more sincerely they expressed their "good intentions," the more difficult it was for her to accept, and she couldn't even blame them.

Qin Yinong continued, "Didn't you also initially believe what others said about me?"

Tang Ruoyao self-deprecatingly said, without holding back, "That's because I was blind and I couldn't recognize the true value. If I could go back, I would slap myself in the face first."

Qin Yinong gently patted her head and laughed, saying, "Don't steal my words. What I mean is, you also changed your opinion about me gradually. How can you expect your friends to accept me immediately?"

"I know what you're saying makes sense, but I'm still angry. Isn't that contradictory?"

"Of course, it's not contradictory. That's why you can't prevent me from meeting them. Otherwise, they'll never have a chance to change their opinion." Qin Yinong said gently.

"But..." Tang Ruoyao hesitated.

"Are you afraid that I'll be treated unfairly?"

Tang Ruoyao lowered her gaze and softly murmured, "Mmm."

"Hmm," Qin Yinong said, "but I don't feel like I'm being treated unfairly. It depends on how individuals feel about these things."

Tang Ruoyao looked up.

Qin Yinong looked at her with gentle eyes and said, "I feel very happy to do anything for you."

Tang Ruoyao was moved, her eyes gradually becoming teary. She opened her arms and tightly embraced her, saying, "Are you a masochist?"

Tang Ruoyao had explained this term to her before, and it meant cute.

Qin Yinong answered honestly and cutely, "Yes."

Tang Ruoyao leaned down and kissed her firmly.

A loud sound.

Smack.

One kiss, then another.

Her angle and strength were a bit mischievous, and Qin Yinong felt ticklish from her kisses, unable to stop laughing. Gradually, the atmosphere changed, and Qin Yinong took a deep breath, her slender and pale fingers curled and gripped the bedsheets.

......

The wedding date was set for March, and the wedding invitations were usually sent out half a month to a month in advance to allow guests to make travel arrangements. They sent them out over a month in advance, conveniently during the New Year period.

At first, they had arranged for only two tables, but with the addition from Han Yuping, it became three tables. He considered Qin Yinong as his own, and Qin Yinong's wedding was equivalent to his family welcoming a daughter-in-law. It was a big deal, and if it weren't for keeping the wedding a secret, he would have hosted a grand banquet.

The final guest list included: Han Yuping and his wife, Lin Guoan and his wife, Jiang Lao and his son, Han Yuping's two close friends, Lin Ruohan, another friend of Qin Yinong from her circle, Guan Han, and so on.

On Tang Ruoyao's side, it was the list she initially drafted. Some people were unaware of her relationship with Qin Yinong and called after receiving the wedding invitations to inquire. Tang Ruoyao explained everything one by one, and in the end, everyone expressed their intention to attend on time.

After hanging up the phone, Tang Ruoyao let one hand hang by her side and looked out of the study window at the night sky.

Qin Yinong finished the final stroke on her calligraphy practice book and put down the brush.

Tang Ruoyao was deeply absorbed in her thoughts and didn't notice that Qin Yinong quietly sneaked up behind her.

"What are you thinking about?" the woman suddenly spoke.

Tang Ruoyao was startled and said, "Nothing." She naturally pulled Qin Yinong's hand and wrapped it around her waist, smiling, "I just feel like time is passing by so quickly."

In the blink of an eye, the year had already passed.

"Yes, it's fast." The more Qin Yinong tried not to mention the matter, the more it involuntarily crowded into her mind. She tightened her grip on the hand that connected them and asked, "Have you checked the luggage? Do you have everything?"

"Mm." Tang Ruoyao replied concisely. She didn't want to say a single word about the separation, as if doing so would slow down time a little.

"It won't be long, you'll be back in just a month." Qin Yinong tried to force a smile and comforted her, but it was also comforting herself.

Take a two-day leave, return to Beijing for the wedding, and then leave again for four months.

Tang Ruoyao gazed at her for a moment, then pulled her into her embrace, and kissed her deeply.

The gradually rising temperature dispelled the lingering worries in their hearts, and the lovers' hormones ignited with a touch.

From the study to the bedroom, from the couch to the carpet, they left behind evidence of their love.

With only an hour left until dawn, they decided not to sleep. They held each other, chatting, and under a dim wall lamp, they stared at each other's eyelashes with their eyes open.

The alarm clock rang, and the corner of Qin Yinong's lips tightened. The counting she was doing had no continuation.

She put on a robe and stood up, her mind blank. She stood with her back to Tang Ruoyao for a while before slowly saying, "I... I'll go check your luggage again."

Tang Ruoyao murmured in agreement and got up to freshen up.

It is still winter, so they are dressed in long-sleeved shirts and pants, with thick coats. Tang Ruoyao raised her hand and slightly opened the collar of her robe, revealing marks all over her fair skin, just like Qin Yinong.

They did everything they could to make their marks last a little longer.

The crew was still setting up, and right now they were mainly having script workshops, so they didn't have to rush. They bought a flight at 11:00 in the morning. Tang Ruoyao could have breakfast at home. It was at this moment that Ningning found out that she would be away from home for a long time and burst into tears.

Tang Ruoyao quickly looked at Qin Yinong. A child crying was not a big deal, but ever since she woke up this morning, Qin Yinong had been unusually silent, as if there was a string tautly supporting her. Tang Ruoyao was afraid that Ningning would accidentally touch that string and break it.

But that didn't happen. Qin Yinong put down her spoon and showed no emotional fluctuations. She calmly said to Ningning, "Mommy is going to work, and when she has time, you can video chat with her. And she'll come home to see us every once in a while, okay?"

The last sentence was directed at Tang Ruoyao.

Tang Ruoyao's heart suddenly skipped a beat for no reason and hurriedly replied, "Okay."

Qin Yinong picked up her bowl again and said softly, "Let's eat."

Tang Ruoyao gently wiped the tears from Ningning's face with a tissue, and anxiously glanced at Qin Yinong.

Qin Yinong didn't respond to her gaze. She finished breakfast first, wiped her mouth leisurely, and got up to leave. "I'll go get the car ready."

Tang Ruoyao asked, "What about Guan Han?"

Qin Yinong didn't turn around. "She'll come later. I'll get the car ready first."

After Qin Yinong left, Tang Ruoyao's ominous premonition grew stronger.

Ningning held her small spoon, her eyebrows furrowed, and whispered, "Mom seems a bit strange."

Tang Ruoyao became even more distressed and, in her confusion, turned to a child for help. She asked, "How is she strange?"

The child couldn't answer based on intuition alone, so with a childish voice, she said, "She's just acting strange. Aren't you Mom's wife? Don't you know?"

The adult world is so complicated.

Qin Jianing buried her head and continued to eat her porridge.

Tang Ruoyao finished her porridge with much appetite. When she raised her eyes, Guan Han had come in with Qin Yinong, and they were still discussing something in low voices. As Tang Ruoyao approached, she overheard Qin Yinong talking about company matters.

Qin Yinong noticed her approach and calmly glanced at her before saying to Guan Han, "After we drop her off, let's go straight back to the company."

Her? Her own name had become a pronoun?

Tang Ruoyao keenly noticed the change in her address and the distant tone, as if she was no longer her fiancée, but a stranger. Her heart was gripped by a large hand, and a dull pain spread.

Tang Ruoyao instinctively reached out to hold Qin Yinong's hand.

It was ice-cold.

The chill went straight to Tang Ruoyao's bones, making her shiver all over.

Qin Yinong's condition of feeling cold is acquired, the doctor said it was caused by long-term exhaustion and unhealthy habits such as excessive drinking. Although it cannot be completely restored to its original state, it can slowly recover with nourishment.

During the six months of rest at home, Qin Yinong followed a regular schedule and had a pleasant body and mind. Ji Shulan made various nutritious soups and herbal remedies to nourish her. After such a long period of care and with a strong physical foundation, she was already much better than before.

Especially since the heating was on in the house, how could she still feel so cold?

Tang Ruoyao took Qin Yinong's hand to her lips, constantly blowing warm air onto it to warm her hands.

Guan Han wanted to make a joke, but when she saw Qin Yinong's indifferent expression, she couldn't bring herself to do it. She watched her breath and thoughts, her heart filled with confusion.

"What time is it?" Qin Yinong asked.

"It's eight o'clock," Guan Han replied.

"We should leave," Qin Yinong withdrew her hand, which was being kept warm by the young woman, and said faintly.

Meeting Tang Ruoyao's bewildered gaze, a trace of reluctance flashed in Qin Yinong's heart. Her gaze softened, and she spoke gently, "There might be traffic on the way, so we should leave early."

Tang Ruoyao pursed her lips and remained silent.

The luggage had already been put in the trunk by Qin Yinong in advance. The two of them sat in the back seat, one in front of the other. Guan Han started the car and drove out of the iron gate.

Qin Yinong turned her head to look outside the window. The vegetation in the community was lush, and the tall tree shadows cast through the car window, enveloping half of the woman's face in darkness, making it impossible to discern her expression.

Silence spread like a silent sharp blade.

Tang Ruoyao raised a hand and placed it on Qin Yinong's hand, which was resting beside her.

Tang Ruoyao could feel the sudden stiffness in her joints, not as gentle and obedient as before.

A vein on Qin Yinong's forehead twitched.

She discreetly exhaled a breath and slowly turned her palm over, using her fingers, which had suddenly become sluggish, to find the gaps between Tang Ruoyao's fingers and hold them.

She tried hard to make it the same as before, without showing the slightest flaw. But her proud acting skills had turned into clumsy and stiff performance techniques, fearing that Tang Ruoyao wouldn't notice her abnormality.

Tang Ruoyao held her hand tightly in this position and whispered, "Baby."

Qin Yinong bit her lower lip.

Tang Ruoyao moved closer, getting closer to her, their shoulders touching. She continued to ask in a considerate and gentle tone, "What's wrong with you?"

The more tolerant and patient she was, the more ashamed and disgusted Qin Yinong felt towards her own thoughts.

Her lips were bitten pale by her teeth, and even the warmth in the car couldn't prevent the loss of temperature from her fingertips.

Tang Ruoyao felt like she was holding onto ice.

Guan Han drove steadily and glanced back through the rearview mirror.

The two of them were in a stalemate.

Tang Ruoyao kept whispering something softly, and Qin Yinong responded only with silence.

Tang Ruoyao was anxious. She hoped that the journey could be a little longer, giving her more time. However, it wasn't a holiday or a weekend, and the road to the airport was smooth and unobstructed. They parked at the agreed-upon spot with Xin Qian, Tang Ruoyao's assistant.

Xin Qian had already spotted the car and waved her hand.

The backseat was silent, not a sound could be heard.

Qin Yinong hung her head, remaining silent.

"Are you trying to make me worry myself to death?" Tang Ruoyao said.

She had no choice but to take a different approach, targeting herself in this way.

Qin Yinong's long eyelashes fluttered slightly.

Tang Ruoyao placed both hands on the woman's shoulders and spoke softly, "What's wrong exactly? Can you tell me, please? Aren't we the closest to each other? You can tell me anything, can't you? Please tell me."

Qin Yinong's pale fingertips pinched into her palm, her teeth clenched tightly.

Tang Ruoyao looked at her lowered eyelashes once again, her voice trembling, "Baby, when you act like this, it makes me doubt that I won't be able to come back once I leave. You..." she paused for half a second, choking on her words, "Do you not want me anymore?"

Qin Yinong's pupils contracted suddenly, and she raised her gaze abruptly, "That's not it..."

How could she not want her?

She wanted her so much that she had to control her greed, not break her wings for her own selfish desires.

Tang Ruoyao's eyes were slightly red, "Then why haven't you spoken to me all the way?"

Qin Yinong forced a bitter smile, "I don't know what to say."

Should she say, "Don't go?" Knowing it couldn't come true, what would be the point of saying it? It would only burden Tang Ruoyao. Although what she was doing now wasn't any better than saying "Don't go," it was even worse.

These past few days, she had rehearsed in her mind every day. On the day she sent Tang Ruoyao to the airport, she wanted to appear calm, no different from usual. Just a temporary farewell, maybe Tang Ruoyao would cry, and she had even prepared comforting words.

But she ended up performing terribly.

Her desires grew wild. Last night, she even thought about making Tang Ruoyao too tired to get up, causing her to miss today's flight, so she could stay for one more day. And then one day after another, she would stay by her side forever, breaking her, imprisoning her, never allowing her to leave her line of sight.

On New Year's Eve, Tang Ruoyao told her not to wear a cheongsam and seriously reflected on whether her own controlling nature was too strong. At that time, Qin Yinong thought to herself: her beloved in front of her probably didn't know that her controlling nature was a thousand or ten thousand times stronger than hers, but the devouring beast was hidden deep, rarely showing its true face, or disguising itself with a beautiful exterior.

She was worried about letting Tang Ruoyao wander alone in the entertainment industry, so she asked Han Yuping for help. Han Yuping was familiar with her, and everything Tang Ruoyao encountered, every person she interacted with, was under her watchful eyes. Tang Ruoyao could fly, but only within the sky she could see.

She wanted to change the perception of Tang Ruoyao's friends and mentors. She wanted to appear openly and honestly in front of them, to receive their sincere blessings, and let everyone around her know about her.

She wanted to add her surname before Tang Ruoyao's name, to possess everything from her body to her heart, to have nowhere else to go except by her side.

Qin Yinong knew that this was obsession. Her love for Tang Ruoyao was more intense than ordinary people, with a burning obsession to live and die together, not just empty words.

But she couldn't change it. She had experienced such passionate love, how could she bear to let Tang Ruoyao disappear from her side? Not even for a minute or a second.

She had been trying to adjust, to make this love healthier, at least to appear perfect and flawless. But she didn't have much time. Negative emotions suddenly erupted when the alarm clock rang this morning.

Her mind was filled with one thought: to keep her, no matter what.

She knew that if she spoke, Tang Ruoyao would definitely agree. Even if it meant breaking the agreement, quitting the movie, even if she didn't really want to, she would reluctantly stay because of her.

So she couldn't say it. It would ruin their love.

Qin Yinong took a deep breath and looked at the young woman in front of her. "It's getting late, you should go in."

Tang Ruoyao bit her lower lip, full of worries.

Qin Yinong leaned over, her hands resting on the young woman's lower back, their foreheads touching, and she said softly, "I won't let you go, be good, call me after passing through security."

The two of them embraced silently for a moment before letting go.

Tang Ruoyao's cool hair strands slowly slipped through Qin Yinong's fingertips. Qin Yinong closed her eyes and concealed her crazy thoughts, maintaining a gentle demeanor. One of her hands reached over and held the door handle, saying, "Time to go."

Tang Ruoyao didn't move and said, "I can't bear to part with you."

"I feel the same way." Qin Yinong lightly kissed her lips and looked into her eyes, saying, "When you come back, let's get married."

Finally, Tang Ruoyao showed a hint of a bright smile.

She nodded vigorously, turned around, pushed the door, got out of the car, and met up with Xin Qian. They walked briskly towards the terminal.

Qin Yinong's face disappeared behind the car window again. After a moment, the car drove away from the airport.

On the first night of their separation, Qin Yinong woke up from a nightmare, soaked in cold sweat.

Author's Note:

Today is Qin *Yandere* Yinong.

"When you come back, let's get married." Does this sentence sound like a flag? Hahaha, let me emphasize again, I'm a sweet romance author, no tragedy~

By the time Ruoyao returns, even 86 cups of water won't be enough, maybe 864 cups won't be enough either. Ruoyao will die of dehydration.


BACK | TABLE OF CONTENTS | NEXT 

Comments