CHAPTER 38

After the call ended, a moment of silence filled the room.

Shu Yanyan glanced at Chu Yu and noticed that her expression had become somewhat serious, with furrowed brows indicating a heavy burden on her mind. Shu Yanyan felt a bit anxious, her hands gripping the edge of her clothes, and she hesitantly asked, "Are you unhappy?"

Chu Yu snapped out of her thoughts.

She rubbed her forehead, appearing somewhat tired. "...A little."

Suddenly, Shu Yanyan felt a dryness in her throat, as if something was lodged there, making it difficult for her to speak.

But she didn't want to let the silence continue to grow.

"Don't take Suqing's words to heart. She understands my situation too well, and it's because she's worried about me and Yunmiao that she said those offensive things to you."

Chu Yu didn't immediately respond.

Her gaze at Shu Yanyan was complex, as if she was brewing something important to say.

This low-pressure atmosphere made Shu Yanyan very uncomfortable.

She turned and held Chu Yu's hand. "If you still mind it a lot, I apologize to you on her behalf!"

Chu Yu finally reacted.

Her complex expression gradually turned into astonishment.

In the next moment, she reached out and cupped Shu Yanyan's face in her hands. "Yanyan, you've misunderstood. I'm not angry at you or her."

She took a deep breath, twitching the muscles of her face to form what she believed to be a gentle smile, and continued to explain, "Is it because I appear too serious? Whenever I'm pondering a problem, I become like this. I've gotten used to it over the years. It used to be fine when dealing with subordinates, but maybe it scared you?"

Shu Yanyan said, "...A little."

Mainly because Chu Yu, and even the past Shu Qing, rarely had such expressions when facing her. Chu Yu furrowing her brows in front of her actually made her feel somewhat unfamiliar.

Chu Yu made a promise, "I'll pay attention next time."

She asked, "If Yanyan finds me scary, you can just tell me directly. There's no need to keep it to yourself and be afraid in secret." As she spoke, she hugged Shu Yanyan. "I can't bear to frighten you, Yanyan."

Shu Yanyan gradually relaxed.

She raised her eyes and caught a glimpse of Chu Yu's distinct jawline. "You said... you're not angry at me or Suqing, then what are you thinking?"

Chu Yu freed one hand to hold Shu Yanyan's hand that was resting on her knee.

She played with Shu Yanyan's fingers while asking in return, "Do you want to know, Yanyan?"

Without hesitation, Shu Yanyan nodded. "Yes, I want to know."

Chu Yu softened her expression a bit.

"I'm angry at myself."

Upon hearing this, Shu Yanyan was greatly surprised. "Angry at yourself?"

She didn't understand. "Why?"

Chu Yu continued, "Shouldn't I be angry at myself? It turns out that all this time, I haven't been able to provide you with enough sense of security, Yanyan."

"Are you treating the process of being with me as a high-stakes gamble? If you win, it's great. But if you lose... have you prepared yourself for the consequences of failure?"

Shu Yanyan fell silent.

Chu Yu's words were a bit harsh, but the reasoning was correct. The things she and Fang Suqing said during the call probably meant the same thing—

Even though they were already reunited, Shu Yanyan didn't believe that what followed would be a perfect fairy tale ending. She was an adult with limited fantasies about the future. What she considered was whether there would be problems in their future interactions, and whether she, as an ordinary person, could be accepted by the entire royal family behind Chu Yu.

If it was just a matter of dating, she wouldn't need to consider so much. She could simply close her eyes, block her ears, and enjoy Chu Yu's tenderness in the days of love. But now that they already had Yunmiao, everything had to be viewed in light of the goal of building a family in the future. She couldn't ignore the high probability of those issues arising.

These past few days of being together have indeed been sweet, but what about the future?

Romance and passion are forever young, they cannot endure until the end of a long life.

That's why, from the beginning, Shu Yanyan refused the requests of the Empress Dowager and Chu Yu, insisting that they start as lovers and try to get to know each other.

Today's conversation with Fang Suqing simply presented Shu Yanyan's concerns and anxieties in a more straightforward and clear manner.

Chu Yu was such a smart person, of course, she could understand the underlying meaning and even decipher many of Shu Yanyan's unspoken thoughts.

In the face of Chu Yu's question, Shu Yanyan took a deep breath and calmed herself.

She didn't know how to answer Chu Yu's question, so she thought for a moment and asked in return, "...Do you, Ah Yu, not have any preparedness for failure?"

Chu Yu: "No."

Shu Yanyan had a momentary daze.

She opened her mouth, "That doesn't sound like your usual meticulous style."

Chu Yu grabbed her shoulders. "Really?"

She looked at Shu Yanyan and earnestly said, word by word, "That's because I've said it before that I won't allow anything other than a perfect outcome between us."

Shu Yanyan was moved by her resolute gaze.

Her inner turmoil swung wildly, torn between wanting to trust Chu Yu completely and surrender herself both physically and emotionally, and thinking about the reality of her past, where she was left alone with Yunmiao after Shu Qing disappeared. It reminded her to keep some distance and reserve.

Just as she was being pulled apart by these two completely different thoughts, Chu Yu in front of her suddenly let out a soft sigh.

She no longer stared at Shu Yanyan with intense eyes, forcing her to give an immediate answer. Instead, she embraced her, allowing Shu Yanyan to bury her head in her embrace, providing enough quiet and warmth.

"I was too impatient."

Shu Yanyan lowered her head and heard Chu Yu say, "I shouldn't have pressured you. I should have realized earlier that Yanyan is different from me."

She gently patted Shu Yanyan's back. "When 'Shu Qing' disappeared, Yanyan must have been very sad, yet still had to support and raise Yunmiao. But I'm different. I finally found Yanyan again and I just want to bind Yanyan to me immediately, to make sure that Yanyan belongs to me forever."

"But what I did is far from enough. I haven't been able to put Yanyan's mind at ease, and it's only natural that Yanyan would have such thoughts."

Shu Yanyan spoke softly, "Ah Yu..."

Chu Yu gently stroked her hair. "Shh, it's okay, no need to say anything."

She continued, "I will give Yanyan a lot of time. I also hope that Yanyan will give me a lot of time, to let me prove myself to you."

"If Yanyan wants to treat this period of being together as a gamble, then let's treat it as a gamble."

She held Shu Yanyan tightly.

"I won't let Yanyan lose."

As she spoke, Chu Yu lowered her head and gently kissed the top of Shu Yanyan's head.

"Yanyan is going to win."

Shu Yanyan's nose felt a bit sour.

She extended her hands and, with all her strength, hugged Chu Yu back.

"...Thank you, Ah Yu. Thank you."

Chu Yu didn't say anything. The two of them embraced each other in the quiet space for a long, long time.

It was only when Shu Yanyan felt like she was about to melt into Chu Yu's embrace and fall asleep directly that Chu Yu spoke, startling her from her drowsiness.

"Why do you want to sleep right after eating? Like a little pig?"

Shu Yanyan was startled and became slightly more awake.

After experiencing what had just happened, her emotions had fluctuated, and she unconsciously felt sleepy. When she heard Chu Yu's words, she felt a bit aggrieved and decisively shifted the blame, saying, "Well, it's all because of you. You're just too comfortable when you hold me."

Actually, this statement was true, after all, Shu Yanyan personally validated it—

The Empress's embrace was soft and warm, the epitome of the most top-notch sleeping nest.

Upon hearing her words, Chu Yu couldn't help but laugh.

She coughed and said, "Although it's comfortable, Yanyan can't go to bed without taking a bath. Otherwise, you'll turn into a dirty little pig."

"What dirty little pig?" Shu Yanyan protested, "No way! I'm definitely not a little pig!"

She puffed up her cheeks, "Are you disgusted with me?"

Chu Yu surrendered directly, "How could that be?"

One of her hands, with suggestive intent, gently kneaded the gland behind Shu Yanyan's neck, "Even if Yanyan is a little pig, I still love Yanyan."

Shu Yanyan pushed her away, speaking with righteous indignation, "I am NOT a little pig!"

"If you like little pigs, you can like them on your own."

While Chu Yu was laughing at her words, Shu Yanyan quickly stood up from the sofa and turned around to escape.

"I'm going to take a bath! After a bath, I can finally sleep! Hmph!"

After saying that, she didn't look back and walked quickly towards the bathroom.

Unfortunately, when she was just one meter away from the bathroom door, Chu Yu grabbed her wrist from behind.

Shu Yanyan wrinkled her nose, "What are you doing?"

Chu Yu reached her hand from behind and hugged her waist, pulling her back into her embrace.

Shu Yanyan kept her entire spine straight.

She knew all too well how tempting Chu Yu's embrace was. Her body longed for the warmth of Chu Yu's body more than her own consciousness did. She missed the way Chu Yu caressed her, the way she spoke, and the subtle scent that sprayed onto her skin unintentionally.

She absolutely couldn't let herself be swayed by Chu Yu's "beauty scheme" in this moment of anger towards each other!

Chu Yu poked her soft flesh on her stomach, and the sensation, harder than before, made her laugh again.

"Why are you so nervous?" Chu Yu spoke, and the familiar warmth of her breath brushed lightly against Shu Yanyan.

Shu Yanyan tried to act tough, "Nervous? Who's nervous?"

Chu Yu buried her chin in Shu Yanyan's neck.

"Not nervous? Little fragrant pig is turning into a little steel pig."

"Chu! Yu!" Shu Yanyan gritted her teeth!

She had merely almost fallen asleep in Chu Yu's embrace, so why did she have to be called a little pig?

It was truly infuriating!

Chu Yu responded in a gentle voice, "I'm here."

She continued speaking, revealing her intention, "Hmm, Yanyan says she's not a little pig?"

"Words alone are not enough. We need to check to be sure about these things."

Shu Yanyan felt an electric current run through her entire body, and she couldn't help but swallow nervously.

"H-How are you going to check?"

Chu Yu didn't say a word. She bent down and carried Shu Yanyan horizontally, taking steps directly towards the bathroom.

Shu Yanyan instinctively struggled, "Let me go!"

But her struggles were nothing to Chu Yu. She looked at Shu Yanyan with a serious expression.

"It's time for the examination now. Miss Shu, please cooperate fully with my work."

Shu Yanyan grabbed onto her collar, tears streaming down as she pleaded, "D-Don't b*lly me."

Chu Yu patted her small butt, "Why would Yanyan think that way?"

"I wouldn't do that."

Shu Yanyan felt like crying but had no tears.

Soon, the bathroom door closed, and the tears she had struggled to hold back finally escaped under Chu Yu's teasing.

Amidst the sound of running water from the bathroom, occasional snippets of conversation could be heard.

"...It's, it's enough, really, I'm not!"

"Tsk tsk, the little pig is developing quite nicely. It would be such a waste not to devour it."

"Ah, wuwu... You, you really bit me?! Chu Yu! You jerk!"

"..."

"...That's enough, right..."

"Hmm? Yanyan, do you remember what you promised me in the store this afternoon? Wasn't I helping you 'fulfill' that promise? "

"...So should I thank you?"

"You're welcome. I'm always happy to serve Yanyan~"

"...You jerk..."

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