CHAPTER 4
Tang Ruoyao's heart jumped to her throat: "!!!"
She stood frozen in place, unsure whether she should quickly rinse off the partially applied body wash, grab a bathrobe to cover herself tightly before Qin Yinong entered, or — simply do nothing and see what Qin Yinong had in mind.
Intimacy of the skin, the pleasure of being together.
Tang Ruoyao gulped subconsciously, making a small swallowing motion.
No matter what she chose to do, all she needed to do was comply.
This thought carried a hint of shame, yet it was also accompanied by an indescribable desire. Tang Ruoyao flicked her damp hair and unconsciously bit her lip, feeling a slight warmth in her ears.
Qin Yinong's footsteps were light, but Tang Ruoyao could hear them clearly due to her heightened focus. Each step landed like a beat on her racing heart. Tang Ruoyao didn't even dare to breathe, her gaze fixed on the direction of the door.
Qin Yinong's silhouette appeared on the door!
Tang Ruoyao's whole body tensed up, one hand clenched into a fist at her side, barely managing to suppress her nervous trembling.
After Qin Yinong came in, what should she say? Greet her? Stay silent?
Should she be a bit aloof, showing reluctance yet still welcoming, or should she lower her posture and try to please her?
She lowered her head and surveyed herself, covered in white foam from the body wash, feeling like she had just woken up from a dream. Hastily, she turned on the shower-head again, letting the hot water pour down, masking her pounding heartbeat with the sound of water.
Thanks to the earlier design by the architect, the bathroom and the bedroom were separated by only a glass door, providing almost no soundproofing.
The sudden sound of the shower brought a moment of clarity to Qin Yinong's heated mind, and her gaze regained its sanity.
She closed her eyes for a moment, took a gentle breath, and forced herself to retract her hand from pushing the door, turning around and walking briskly away.
.....
Tang Ruoyao came out wearing a bathrobe, the belt neatly tied, but as soon as she looked up, she froze.
Qin Yinong was leaning against the bedroom windowsill, one leg bent and the other dangling in the air, gently swaying, her gaze seemed distant. What stunned Tang Ruoyao wasn't her movements, but the fact that she held a cigarette between her pale slender fingers.
"When did you start smoking?" Tang Ruoyao stepped forward, calmly taking the unlit cigarette from her hand.
It was a slender, pale-colored, and lightly fragrant cigarette for women, with a black thorn pattern of wild exuberance near the tip.
Qin Yinong smiled, not at all annoyed by having her cigarette taken away. With two fingers, she plucked another one from the nearby cigarette box, expertly curling the tip with her tongue before placing it between her lips.
As Qin Yinong held the cigarette between her lips, her head naturally tilted slightly, her breath sinking ever so slightly, and her lips curved upwards. Her gaze followed the smoke, clear yet hazy, giving the impression of a seasoned smoker.
How did she suddenly develop such a strong smoking habit?
Tang Ruoyao felt a slight annoyance in her heart, but she dared not show it in front of Qin Yinong.
Qin Yinong didn't explain, but she raised the hand that was hanging by her side, holding a sleek black metal lighter in her palm.
Click— Clack—
Click— Clack—
The lighter's lid opened and closed, as Qin Yinong's fair and slender fingertips danced lightly and gracefully.
Tang Ruoyao subtly adjusted her breathing, barely noticeable.
"I need it for the upcoming film." Qin Yinong calmly spoke, playing with the lighter in her hand. She looked up at Tang Ruoyao with teasing eyes.
This kid was practically about to explode, yet she had to restrain herself from lecturing her.
Tang Ruoyao felt her ears turning slightly crimson, realizing that Qin Yinong had seen through her thoughts. After a moment of silence, she softly said, "Um, smoking is not good for your health."
Qin Yinong nodded and chuckled.
"I know, I'm already quitting."
"Then why are you still..." Tang Ruoyao was puzzled.
Shouldn't quitting smoking mean getting rid of cigarettes altogether?
Qin Yinong pressed the lighter's switch, and a yellow-red flame shot up.
Tang Ruoyao watched as the flame slowly approached the cigarette in Qin Yinong's mouth, her fingertips curling, and just as she was about to reach out and snatch it away, the flame stopped a few centimeters away from the tip of the cigarette.
Qin Yinong's hand was steady, showing no signs of struggle even with the craving for a smoke.
"Ah Li." Qin Yinong suddenly lifted her gaze to look at Tang Ruoyao, the overly calm look in her eyes leading to a desolate emptiness.
Tang Ruoyao softly murmured in response, her heart inexplicably tugged by her gaze.
The melancholy in Qin Yinong's eyes disappeared in an instant, as if it had never been there.
She held the cigarette in her hand and said calmly, "Humans have so many desires. Do we have to satisfy every single one of them?"
"If it doesn't involve legal or moral issues, I suppose it's possible." Tang Ruoyao cautiously replied.
"But human desires are endless. How can you guarantee that you'll only satisfy it up to this point? Once you taste the sweetness, it becomes difficult to stop." Qin Yinong sneered. "Otherwise, why would there be a term called insatiable desires?"
Desires are like a hungry beast locked in an iron cage, its mouth wide open, drooling incessantly. If released, it will devour everything in its path, including oneself. That's why the more a person desires something, the more that person must restrain themselves. Whether it's a cigarette, a piece of candy, or something bigger...
Qin Yinong glanced at Tang Ruoyao deeply.
The easier something is to obtain, the more likely it is to be a trap. One wrong step, and you'll plunge into an abyss, shattered into pieces.
Tang Ruoyao's expression froze.
"So the best approach is to restrain it from the beginning."
Qin Yinong lit her cigarette, silently lowering her eyelids, gazing at it as it burned calmly between her fingers, emitting wisps of white smoke. The scent of smoke can instinctively stimulate the salivary glands, triggering a response in the nerves for smokers who are in the process of quitting.
Tang Ruoyao clearly saw Qin Yinong's throat subtly move, and her expression faintly revealed a sense of discomfort.
Tang Ruoyao still didn't understand why Qin Yinong was putting herself through such torment.
Qin Yinong looked at Tang Ruoyao's puzzled expression and smiled gently.
She must have had too much to drink today, to be spouting all these random words to Tang Ruoyao. Or perhaps, she held an unrealistic fantasy in her heart, hoping that Tang Ruoyao could understand her words. But even if she understood, what difference would it make? She couldn't even save herself, so how could she expect a young child who hadn't even reached the age of 22 to lend her a hand?
"Acting is also a form of desire, which we often refer to as the desire to perform. It also requires restraint, as excess is as detrimental as deficiency." Qin Yinong raised her voice slightly, bringing Tang Ruoyao back from her distraction.
Tang Ruoyao let out a baffled sound, although she was confused by the sudden transition from the previous statement to this one. Nevertheless, she quickly composed herself and attentively listened to Qin Yinong's teachings.
Three years ago, shortly after Tang Ruoyao entered film school, her understanding of acting had not yet formed into a systematic approach. It wasn't the school teachers who enlightened her about acting, but Qin Yinong. It was Qin Yinong who guided her through her first successful audition for a film, and Tang Ruoyao couldn't deny the impact of Qin Yinong's teachings, even though she still couldn't compliment Qin Yinong's character at the time. She had to admit that Qin Yinong was an actor born for the stage, and when she performed, regardless of the presence of other actors, she was the only one who shone, making everyone else pale in comparison.
Qin Yinong was her benefactor, her teacher, and after getting to know her, she became Tang Ruoyao's most admired person and idol on her acting journey.
"Your film 'Variations of Stars' that was released last year is a negative example of being unable to control the desire to perform." Qin Yinong raised an eyebrow, calmly looking at Tang Ruoyao. The iconic casual smile that often graced her face disappeared, replaced by a faint coldness and solemnity in her voice.
"What do you mean?" Tang Ruoyao stared straight at her, not immediately bowing her head in blind admission of fault just because Qin Yinong was an authority in acting. She didn't steal anyone's scenes by solely focusing on her own performance, and the people she acted alongside liked her. So what does she mean by saying she couldn't control her desire to perform?
A faint smile flickered in Qin Yinong's eyes as she raised her chin, gesturing for Tang Ruoyao to sit across from her.
As Tang Ruoyao bent down to take a seat, her robe opened slightly, revealing a delicate expanse of snow-like skin. Qin Yinong accidentally caught a glimpse of the cherry blossoms adorning the snowy mountains and quickly averted her gaze, feeling a bit uncomfortable. She kept a peripheral eye on Tang Ruoyao's movements, waiting for her to settle before nonchalantly turning back.
Tang Ruoyao remained oblivious, lowering her head to adjust the hem of her robe.
"The reason actors are actors is that once they shout 'action,' another version of themselves immediately appears and fully immerses themselves in the performance, right?" Qin Yinong asked.
Tang Ruoyao nodded.
Almost all actors are like that. She believed it represented focus and professionalism. Wasn't that the case?
She conveyed her confusion through her gaze.
Qin Yinong remained silent for a moment, tapping her index finger on her knee, and raised an eyebrow as she asked, "Do you remember where 'Variations of Stars' was filmed?"
"It was filmed at a special school." Tang Ruoyao replied.
"Are the students in the film real students from the school?"
"Yes, the production specifically chose a special school for filming."
"How long did the filming take?"
"Three months."
"What about those students? Do you remember any of them?"
Tang Ruoyao fell silent.
Qin Yinong's gaze turned cold, and she questioned in a deep voice, "You devoted yourself for three months, and you don't even have any impressions of them?"
Tang Ruoyao's voice trailed off, and after a moment of hesitation, she lifted her watery eyes and weakly whispered, "Sister..."
Qin Yinong's expression softened, and she took the opportunity to teach her a new lesson.
In a special school, because it's a real environment with real students, if Tang Ruoyao is playing the role of a teacher in that setting, she should truly immerse herself in the role as if she were a real teacher there, getting along with the students, rather than solely focusing on showcasing her acting skills and interpreting her character. This requires strong self-control from the actor to restrain excessive desire to perform.
Tang Ruoyao was naturally talented in acting, with a keen understanding and rapid progress. Whenever Qin Yinong and the directors had dinner together and chatted about the new generation of actors, Tang Ruoyao was always the first one mentioned.
However, she had become blinded by her own talent, relentlessly pursuing the improvement of her acting skills. If she continued on this path, she would eventually become an emotionless and inhumane acting machine. That was not what Qin Yinong wanted to see, and it would have a detrimental effect on her future development.
After their conversation came to an end, Qin Yinong stood up without hesitation as the cigarette between her fingers burned to its end. She pressed it out and threw it into the trash can. She glanced back at Tang Ruoyao, who had a furrowed brow and was deep in thought, then went to the living room to pour a glass of water. She sat down next to Tang Ruoyao, taking small sips patiently while waiting.
After a moment, Tang Ruoyao suddenly trembled all over, stood up abruptly, and sincerely bowed to Qin Yinong. Then she straightened up, her eyes shining brightly, and solemnly said, "Thank you, sister, for teaching me."
This was a gesture of respect towards a teacher.
This child.
Qin Yinong looked at her for a solid two seconds and suddenly burst into a soft laugh.
Tang Ruoyao was puzzled by her laughter.
Qin Yinong cleared her throat, her cat-like eyes lazily giving her a teasing glance, a faint smile playing at the corners of her lips, as she leisurely said, "When sister teaches you, there is a tuition fee to be paid."
The atmosphere around them suddenly grew tense, and as their gazes locked, unseen sparks seemed to ignite in the air.
Tang Ruoyao's throat tightened, suppressing the urge to swallow, as she looked into those pitch-black eyes. She whispered, "What tuition fee?"
In the next moment, Tang Ruoyao was suddenly embraced by an arm that pulled her forward, causing her to fall into the warm and fragrant embrace of the woman.
The intoxicating scent filled her nostrils, and for a moment, Tang Ruoyao's mind became hazy.
As the grip around her waist loosened, Tang Ruoyao lowered her gaze and saw Qin Yinong's hand, as white as jade, holding onto the belt of her bathrobe, slowly pulling it out, bit by bit.
Qin Yinong tilted her head, her red lips brushing against Tang Ruoyao's ear, as she exhaled a breath that was as fragrant as orchids.
"Are you willing to offer yourself? Body and soul?"
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